Sundry Dan K

What I like about GK Chesterton

2012-02-14T09:55:00.000-08:00

"The Church never said that wrongs could not or should not be righted; or that commonwealths could not or should not be made happier; or that it was not worth while to help them in secular and material things; or that it is not a good thing if manners become milder, or comforts more common, or cruelties more rare. But she did say that we must not count on the certainty even of comforts becoming more common or cruelties more rare; as if this were an inevitable social trend towards a sinless humanity; instead of being as it was a mood of man, and perhaps a better mood, possibly to be followed by a worse one. We must not hate humanity, or despise humanity, or refuse to help humanity; but we must not trust humanity; in the sense of trusting a trend in human nature which cannot turn back to bad things." -GK Chesterton

I just saw this quote for the first time today. Most of my postings of GKC quotes are ones that I had some vague familiarity with. This one was well timed with something I've been pondering.

What I really like about GKC is he puts sharp and precise words to what I'm thinking. Of course I'm wrestling with wild loose concepts and he bundles them together and tames them. Sunday was a strange day as I had a decent online discussion regarding the mandate for contraceptive coverage expanding into religious institutions. That evening I also attended a meeting on exploring other denominations since the PC-USA has been so fast and free with their doctrine; especially supporting more politically charged (rather than biblically charged) stands.

All of this had me wondering about the relationship with church in culture. How do you plug in without getting sucked down? How can you be a voice proclaiming the truth if you had just preached the heresies?

To me the mandate of tending to the poor and the widows has been a mandate to me and my church; it is not for me to support a government program that might try to do it. Certainly not a calling to create a government program for it. Beyond the inefficiency, it's numbing. It is simply too easy to drop a twenty in the plate and then be numb and comforted by the thought that "I did my part". That's without getting into the corruption potential once it leaves the sight of the giver. Some government programs do exist that do good and help people, but the church should be better at doing it. I simply trust the group of men assembled for God (however poorly it may be reflected at times) over the group of men assembled for governing men.

This quote struck me for how it captures the trick. Humanity may swing to doing something good; allow it, support it - but do not trust it. The only way humanity moves towards being less sinful is by refusing to call sins sins.

More to this blog than living and dying...

2012-02-10T16:08:00.000-08:00

I'm old. It brings aches and pains. Pleasant smiles remembering days that seemed so recent and it turns out they were a LONG time ago.

Yesterday I bought tickets for Becky and I to go see Steven Curtis Chapman, Andrew Peterson, and Josh Wilson playing in the south suburbs of Cleveland. This isn't my first time seeing SCC or AP.

Backstory. Over 20 years ago I was a regular volunteer to setup Christian music concerts that rolled through Lancaster. With a great springboard from station WJTL there are many concerts that hit that area. At the time I was naive as to what a great opportunity this was. To me it was just better than sitting bored at home.

This process generally went as follows:

Show up around 11am - setup chairs, tables, etc.
Unload a truck that rolled up around noon.
Setup speakers, lights, soundboard, drumkits, guitars, etc.
Soundcheck and we get to go eat.
Take tickets, run spotlight, be security, etc. during the show.
Tear it all down, pack it up, load it up. Go home around midnight.

Now it was not expected, but about 50% of the time the artist or stage manager would gather the volunteers as the truck was almost loaded and hand out some swag. This was t-shirts, stickers, cassettes or later in my volunteer career CDs. It always felt like Christmas.

One of the regulars making stops there was Steven Curtis Chapman. I was always a SCC fan. I had a "More to this Life" t-shirt that was well worn through my late teens (thanks stage manager). He put on a fun show with a nice variety in song pace and humor and heart. I also had a side benefit. I was a 13 y/o with a blonde mullet walking around with an official badge. SCC would mention about his family and kids and I would shortly get asked "are you his son?". I'm thinking it was about twenty times I have been asked that question. Awesome everytime.

Also awesome because it was better to be asked if I was somehow related to fame rather than to be questioned on my gender.

For the record, this picture is embarrassing; but it is the best from the era (I was 15, my last year with a mullet), and the one when I was 13 was more embarrassing.

I'm now at the other end by strictly being a concert viewer. I have a long history of seeing SCC live and am excited for the upcoming show too. I get to see it with my wife. Early in our college and dating time we went to downtown Pittsburgh to catch SCC playing.

This time Steven is playing with my absolute favorite storysinger - Andrew Peterson. I also saw him early in his career when he opened for Caedmon's Call at Grove City College ('97). That was also a date with Becky.

It is good to look back on the magic moments and memories. I can't think of a better evening enjoying two key musical elements from key times of my life and having my wife to share them with.

The Strange Music by G. K. Chesterton
Other loves may sink and settle, other loves may loose and slack,
But I wander like a minstrel with a harp upon his back,
Though the harp be on my bosom, though I finger and I fret,
Still, my hope is all before me: for I cannot play it yet.

In your strings is hid a music that no hand hath e'er let fall,
In your soul is sealed a pleasure that you have not known at all;
Pleasure subtle as your spirit, strange and slender as your frame,
Fiercer than the pain that folds you, softer than your sorrow's name.

Not as mine, my soul's annointed, not as mine the rude and light
Easy mirth of many faces, swaggering pride of song and fight;
Something stranger, something sweeter, something waiting you afar,
Secret as your stricken senses, magic as your sorrows are.

But on this, God's harp supernal, stretched but to be stricken once,
Hoary time is a beginner, Life a bungler, Death a dunce.
But I will not fear to match them-no, by God, I will not fear,
I will learn you, I will play you and the stars stand still to hear.

"Wait, is that your stage voice.."

2012-02-07T11:18:00.000-08:00

After being so heavy in posts, I've decided to share something that has had me chuckling for a little bit now.

This (and the whole series of them) are hilarity in a jar to me.

Enjoy!

I authorized this message....

2012-02-06T12:42:00.000-08:00

I've had a spell recently thinking about authority. Doesn't everybody go through that? It may have been topped off with managing a room full of kids briefly at Sunday school. There was a general amount of goofing off and upityness that I can tolerate. The class rose quickly to my threshold of misbehavior and after that it was quite a task to harness the cats. Lots of repeating myself, isolating kids, and relocating troublemakers. More than I wanted, more than there should have been.

Part of my wondering about authority is around this - I'm digging into past theological writings and thinkings, and they are fresh water to me. I've been hungry for this all my life and am only finding it now. Some solid pounding out of points and why it is right; not wishy-washy trying to convince that this view is slightly better.
I think it's obvious that there is an erosion of authority underway and there are many implications. I don't know when the erosion began, it's easy to say the 60s; but it is probably a problem as old as human history. Will you really die if you eat the apple?

Probably the most subtle shades of the recent authority erosion is that it is tied with being told and believing "everything is okay, you aren't that bad". Lose original sin and you don't get repeated sinlessness in a spiral upward, you get repeated denial in the handbasket to hell.

Erosion of the Family -
TV, books and education seems to offer a very solid front of "your parents are dumb." It is no longer Ward Beaver setting the Beave straight. It moved to Al Bundy, Dan Conner, and Raymond. While this truly more realistic, the pendulum has swung past reality (I make mistakes, I'm learning how to be a father) to the father being consistently stupid and wrong.

Erosion of the Church -
The church has been equally isolated. And by isolating it to a weekly club of good advice it is immediately minimized. There is constant media coverage of Westboro Baptist idiots and silence about the 99% of other churches that pray and love their enemies. The churches that understand there is a difference between a call to holiness and a witch hunt. It isn't that culture has "killed God" in society (and not for a lack of trying by some extremes); they have sought to make him manageable. We have moved from "remember the sabbath and keep it holy" to "remember that Sunday is only one day of the week".

Implications -
I don't think the attackers of home & church authority had any idea where the tracks they laid would lead. In saying our parents can't tell us what to do we get left with nobody know what to do. It takes four years of bad education at the hands of the badly educated to realize we need to go out and learn to use our skills and truly find ourselves. We find ourselves in

Without the bedrock of family or church there is a general search for where our worldview gets grounded. I need some solid rock to stand upon and make this sense of the inner question of what is the point? There was brief period where it could be filled by the big institutions - government, banks and big causes. Propaganda easily paints these as a source of worldview. Captain Planet to the rescue. But these which should have been mistrusted from the first, have become the collection of much belief that has discovered they are bankrupt. They should be mistrusted since they are merely a collection of men. They are bankrupt because being bigger doesn't mean they are better; it means that the corruption is bigger and faster to affect everything. The only efficient element of the government and large banks is how quickly they can help themselves. They have even risen one level further in helping each other.

All of this has left the individual alone and finding his own way. The biggest output of eliminating authority is that I rise to my own authority. "Me" as my own authority results in poor guidance with no way of coming back to reality. Without fertile ground for reason to take root we are swayed with the winds of fashion.

I am not a king on my own island. The truth is I am not alone. I do not know it all. There is no span of emotion that David has not first expressed in the Psalms. There is no high level of mental strained searching that Job and Solomon has not faced first. There is a God who cares for the birds of the field and for his people. I can rest in His hands.

"The authority of priests to absolve, the authority of popes to define, the authority even of inquisitors to terrify; these were only dark defences erected round one central authority, more undemonstrable, more supernatural than all the authority of a man to think. We know now that this is so; we have no excuse for not knowing it. For we can hear scepticism crashing through the old ring of authorities, and at the same moment we can see reason swaying upon her throne." GK Chesterton 'Orthodoxy'

The Heir of the Dogma

2012-02-03T06:25:00.000-08:00

"The Declaration of Independence dogmatically bases all rights on the fact that God created all men equal; and it is right; for if they were not created equal, they were certainly evolved unequal. There is no basis for democracy except in a dogma about the divine origin of man." -GK Chesterton

I love this quote for a few reasons.

1. It says much for the founders of the US and their understanding for power, origins of power, and a greater power - God. Not a king, not an elected official. For they are not God.

2. I think most believers in evolution would be hesitant to say that Warren Buffett is rich because he is a better evolutionary product. It can be said he was lucky or smart; but to even make the claim that he is living "the high life" (although I doubt he drinks Miller) is making a claim for a score keeping system of somekind. An inherent sense of good; right and wrong. It is the love of life that tells us that the cat won when it eats the mouse, it is the same love that misses the hamster when it loses to the vacuum cleaner.

3. The basis for a pure democracy is the equal value of each man. The image of God born by every human.

Side note: In a few places Chesterton expresses his frustration with the upside-down arguments against women's suffrage. It is not that women were beneath the vote; the vote (taking part in a mob action) is something that a woman should not be asked to descend to take part in. It was the same as them not taking part in clearing roadkill - the task is under the dignity of the holders of such beauty.

My Ears are Burning - Superbowl Thoughts

2012-01-20T20:11:00.000-08:00

The Steelers fizzled at the playoff dance this year. There was a brief mourning period but I'm better now.

It's down to a few teams - Baltimore Ravens vs New England Patriots, and the NY Giants against the San Francisco 49ers. The winners of each game will be meeting in the superbowl.

If only they would end at the regular season and let the computers pick the superbowl teams - would that be excited. The BCS has something going for it.

So I'm not really rooting for any team. I like the 49ers as a squad. I'm conditionally opposed to the NY Giants due to a loudmouth Giants fan in 3rd grade. Not a grudge the guy just made me instinctively resent that team, plus the token jerk at work likes them too. To me that confirms it, jerks like the Giants. Or at least they will strut around loudly proclaiming their team is the best team ever.

So I'm for the 49ers UNLESS it ends up as a Harbaugh brothers superbowl (49ers vs Ravens). The sappy coverage of brothers facing off in the big game would be sickening. To the point of wanting to be sick. Just in hopes that the burn in the back of your throat might somehow make your ears burn and you won't be able to hear the crappy, sappy coverage. I'm not sure I could watch that game.

I want to see the Ravens rather than the Pats because Tom Brady is a jag and it's the Pats. Also the AFC North is a strong, tough, gritty conference and it getting proven again is a good thing. UNLESS the noted Harbaugh brothers matchup is about to occur.

So my preference for the superbowl:
49ers over New England
Ravens over Giants
Giants over New England (I'll tolerate the John the jerk).
49ers over Ravens (although my back will hurt for weeks from all of the vomiting).

Stickin to the Man on MLK Jr Day

2012-01-16T04:10:00.000-08:00

Today is MLK Jr Day. Yesterday I had a great discussion with Beth regarding why she has off school and who he was. She was shocked that someone could be driven by hatred to shoot a pastor.

Sometimes I get ornery and crazy thoughts just to stick it to the system. Whatever the system is, if it seems outrageous or dumb I have some internal churning to make it break. This doesn't always do well within companies or governments and I've learned to let my fantasy "stick-it" idea sprint for 20 seconds and then fall over and die in the wastelands far from the fields of reality.

Today I'll share it before it dies.

My current "stick-it" idea is to make a huge banner with a MLK Jr. quote and hang it from city hall to celebrate the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. This is more of a "stick-it" to the anti-Christmas atheist crowd. But also to the schools teaching how MLK Jr stood against segregation and omitting how he stood in front of a church Sunday after Sunday.

This isn't to slight MLK Jr. at all. It is to remember how many great things he was able to accomplish and pave the way for, because he loved Jesus. That should not be forgotten.

My banner would read -

"Man is a sinner in need of God's forgiving grace. This is not deadening pessimism; it is Christian realism." - Martin Luther King Jr.

Thanks Dr. King.

Hunger Games - My stomach's talking

2012-01-10T12:31:00.000-08:00

So this my review/thoughts on "The Hunger Games" trilogy.

Review -
Good story and well told. I found the characters to be flawed and believable. There are plenty of discussion points on politics, remembering history, tyranny, right and wrong, basic decency. Some of the scenarios are probably too much for the 10 y/o crowd I'd recommend it for 13+. I read through the book very fast and for a few days neglected the anklebiters too much. It is an addictive story through all three books.

The setting is a post civil war nation with a central capital region (rich) and 12 subordinate districts that are forced to send their children to compete in a deathmatch. A friend called it the Running Man meets Lord of the Flies. Pretty close.

Discussion - Spoilers from here on out.
This will be full of spoilers. I want to discuss it fully so I don't plan on shying away from any details.
Setting
I found the culture/world believable. A culture high on the power of conquest and seeking to continue to show it's dominance (and preserve it's power) would allow a Hunger Games and celebrate it. I didn't find that a stretch at all. It was depressing but believable.

Politics
The continued use of Katniss as a political pawn was not surprising. I didn't feel the story let off at all in the third book. It uncovered layers of frustration by the common people, and then how other power structures are ready to capitalize on that. I already have that feeling so I wasn't disappointed by a "turn" in the third book, I thought it was a continuation. I found it easy to draw parallels to politics today (democrat/republican seeking to label or coerce the occupy/tea party). It is all a game for the camera, and there is a thin thread that keeps the power class there.

Peeta and Gale
Suzanne Collins does well at setting up a tough love interest for Katniss. I have not read Twilight but from what I gather there is a similar triangle except Katniss isn't a whiny, brooding teenager. She's a fighter and a survivor.

I think Katniss was right to pick Peeta. At first I liked Gale but that was before the calculated cold bombs.

At one point I wondered about comparing Gale/Peeta to Cain and Able. A hunter and a maker of grain offerings. Of course Gale didn't kill Peeta. Even in this struggle their great love Katniss led them to sacrifice for each other for her sake.

Other Stuff
The twists and turns I didn't see:
Double winners of the "The Hunger Games". I knew it would happen but did not see how.
Finnick getting killed. I liked him.
Peeta choking Katniss. I knew there were many pages left so something had to happen.

There were many human elements that make the characters have depth. Sacrifice is throughout the book. Making tough choices. The breakdown and recovery of Mrs. Everdeen was a great story element.

"Nothing is important except the fate of the soul; and literature is only redeemed from an utter triviality, surpassing that of naughts and crosses, by the fact that it describes not the world around us, or the things on the retina of the eye, or the enormous irrelevancy of encyclopedias, but some condition to which the human spirit can come" - GK Chesterton

List-en Here

2012-01-06T18:09:00.000-08:00

I've seen a few top lists of 2011. Here's mine:

Books -
Hunger Games (I still need to write a review)
The Chosen by Chaim Potok
My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok
Father Brown Mysteries GK Chesterton.
my top has to be "William Tell" by PG Wodehouse. It was VERY good; and at the end Wodehouse shares an epic poem version of the tale. Superb.

Music - my toughest category

Josh Garrels keeps getting re-played at work - and Jill Phillips and The Civil Wars
Jason Gray "See in the Dark" has been running a long time in our kitchen music machine.
Slugs & Bugs Underwhere? has been steadily played.
A very close second goes to the Andy Osenga pre-release of "Leonard the Lonely Astronaut"
Bluebird by Randall Goodgame has been my favorite gem of this year.

Movies - apparently it was a forgettable movie year, not much is jumping to to me.
I saw "Dark Knight" this year. It was impressive.
"The Muppets" was very good.
"Sherlock Holmes" I think is my top pick of the year. I only saw the first one but I was impressed with the story and development.

TV -
Phineas & Ferb is still going strong.
Psych.
I'm late to the game but "Firefly" was superb.

"My Name is Asher Lev" - book review

2011-12-21T05:30:00.000-08:00

This book was recommended from a few places so I finally got around to diving in. Chaim Potok is a wonderful storyteller - I previously read "The Chosen" (see review here). This story is of an art prodigy growing up with an irresistible urge to create within an Orthodox Jewish household. I'm amazed at how much I was hooked into a story with basically no action. No car chases. No ninjas attacking dragons. None.  If I recall correctly, knife is used to sharpen an artist pencil.

The father tries but just cannot understand art and his son wanting to create art - "this is something I cannot reconcile." The son, Asher, wants to respect his father but cannot resist drawing. The mother is torn, as any mother would be, by loving her husband and loving her son and seeking to keep them both. Toss in a Rebbe, the religious leader, who directs the father to continue vital and risky work in Europe following the death of Stalin. The Rebbe also directs Asher to study art and keep doing it.

That's the premise and basically the whole story. Potok lets you look into lives of characters and once again I found them not only believable, but compelling. You care and understand for each of the main players.

The book starts with Asher at a young age and I chuckled frequently at how well Potok captured the mind and restlessness of that age. It progresses through the years and you get to see Asher mature. I was pulling for Asher.

Asher's mom makes goes through a mourning period following family tragedy. I wanted her to get better. She does. She makes tough choices and sacrifices for her family. I couldn't help but care about her and see her as honorable.

Asher's father is devoted to the the faith and doing work for the Rebbe. He works very hard in his duties for the Rebbe and has put himself at huge risk at times. He struggles to understand his son, he tries but it isn't easy.

Asher himself is torn by this irrepressible gift and serving his faith and honoring his father.

All of the characters popped out of the book to give you a sense that they are real.

My $0.02 on the conclusion. I'll try to convey my thoughts without giving away too much.

I was disappointed with the ending. Not that it was poorly written, or fell out of the story. I was just pulling for Asher to make some different choices. Did he really have to paint that and let it be displayed?  Is it required that all art causes some level of strife? Is it wrong for a great artist to make great pretty art? I don't that is necessarily being a "whore" as Jacob Kahn, the mentoring artist, had warned.

I enjoy and believe the call to be artists. Art = created beauty. I see that artistic spirit flowing through beautiful blueprints, well setup spreadsheets, furniture, good meals, music, stories, etc.. I don't think the artistic call would make a chef sneak meat into a vegetarian's meal. There are lines that do not need to be crossed for the sake of the "art".

Do all artists sacrifice for the sake of the art? Is it really a choice between offending your audience (or a crucial part) and selling yourself?

There is a deep underlying reality that "My Name is Asher Lev" told that I never considered before.   The artist pours his view and spirit into a work, and then sells it.  An artist sells something with huge personal meaning which ends up being a simple conversation piece completely removed of the story behind the vision behind the art.

There is a mattress store in town that is covered with art from the owner. He readily talks about his art, and art in general. He said doesn't sell them. I wondered why not but now I have a glimmer of understanding.

Progressive Revolution

2011-12-14T04:45:00.000-08:00

"NOW here comes in the whole collapse and huge blunder of our age. We have mixed up two different things, two opposite things. Progress should mean that we are always changing the world to suit the vision. Progress does mean (just now) that we are always changing the vision. It should mean that we are slow but sure in bringing justice and mercy among men: it does mean that we are very swift in do...ubting the desirability of justice and mercy: a wild page from any Prussian sophist makes men doubt it. Progress should mean that we are always walking towards the New Jerusalem. It does mean that the New Jerusalem is always walking away from us. We are not altering the real to suit the ideal. We are altering the ideal: it is easier." ~GKC: 'Orthodoxy,' VII, The Eternal Revolution.

This blog will just dragon, and on..

2011-12-07T17:15:00.001-08:00

Did you ever think that dragons might not be dead? They're just sleeping or waiting.

Their lay with a charring snore waiting for their revenge on St. George for killing their kin. Or any saint, but none are to be found. There is no traceable family. That stalwart lineage isn't around. The dragon lays sleeping, long enough for a mountain to drift ontop of it slower than a glacier.

St. George, a decorated soldier, was arrested and offered to be set free with huge rewards if he would give a sacrifice, a small tithe, to the Roman gods. He held the faith and died for it. They resuscitated him three times during a tortuous death.

The dragon need not awaken. We're terrified to talk to our neighbor about our faith - "it's a personal choice"; "I don't want to offend anyone" and "to each his own".

We won't charge in to fight the beast. We've become lazy in facing hard issues. It's easier to have a soft head than a strong back.

We don't need to hear terrible scales rattling in the dark; we're terrified to let the Bible confront our comfort. It's easier to leave it sitting on the shelf. Reading it is uncomfortable. Not that we don't understand it, we just don't want to have to.

We won't remember all the brave ones; the communion of saints. We've yielded the adoption certificate into God's family. We'd rather wear labels of jock, nerd, bookworm, runner, conservative, liberal, republican, or democrat. Then I don't have to admit any common grace, or any common-ness at all when we disagree. It's easier to fight one of "them" than one of our brothers or sisters.

The dragon doesn't need to rear its head to snarl and burp flames at us. We can burn each other well enough.

Dragons may be real, and I think they'd be beaten, in time. It's more shameful that our faith wouldn't even wake them up, let alone defeat them.

"Fairy tales do not give a child his first idea of bogey. What fairy tales give the child is his first clear idea of the possible defeat of bogey. The baby has known the dragon intimately ever since he had an imagination. What the fairy tale provides for him is a St. George to kill the dragon." -GKC Tremendous Trifles

St. George and the Dragon - By Justin Gerard
check out more of his art here

Andrew Osenga - out of this world

2011-12-02T09:56:00.001-08:00

wow a double post day

Sometime back Becky & I supported a Kickstarter project for Andy Osenga's - Leonard the Lonely Astronaut.

While that is a true statement I should explain a few things. I am rabid about some of the music I like, specifically Andrew Peterson. I mentioned at the dinner table that I liked a song that was on the kitchen radio and my 7 y/o asked me if it was Andrew Peterson. I didn't realize I was that obvious.

Well, Andrew Osenga is another Square Peg guy and Rabbitroom artist who was developing an album and had a Kickstarter campaign. The concept (from Kickstarter):

My next solo record is going to tell the story of a man named Leonard Belle. He lives 300 years from now and loses his wife in a sudden accident while their divorce is being finalized. In his rage and grief he takes a gig driving a long-distance space freighter for a year. (Due to relativity, by the time he returns to Earth everyone he knows will be old or dead.) He decides to bring along some antique instruments and recording equipment (just like the stuff I have!) and will make a record.

Now THAT is an ambitious concept. Plus he built a spaceship in his garage to set the mood and played in a spacesuit to get into character (artists - go fig).

So we supported (more true to say Becky supported my supporting) via Kickstarter. I was skeptical if this would work, but we joined in. Two days ago he pre-released three acoustic tracks. I am amazed and glad we supported the project.

Unlike anything I've heard in quite some time, it captures emotion. I think some of my favorite songs are my favorite because they excel at conveying emotion. They transmit the heart feelings by telling a story in 3-4 minutes. Whether it's joy, anger, loneliness, fear or comfort.

These 3 songs remind me very much of listening to Pink Floyd concept albums, The Wall or even The Final Cut. The beauty of a concept album is that the song can be part of the grand story instead of trying to stand alone.

The Leonard concept is out there and risky in if it is too remote to connect to the listener. It didn't take long listening to hear how Leonard is at the very ends emotionally. His feeling of impending loneliness got trumped by actually being alone. So he goes a step further and sits in a cave and seals the door. I haven't heard the whole album, but I'm guessing it isn't all about seeing rainbows and chirping birds

My hope is that in the production/engineering the emotional vocal strain isn't lost. I think I'm hooked because they express the heartache so well. I'd like to hear the rest of the album in a similar stripped down acoustic format. But if the production goes further in telling the story, I'll be having this on repeat for a long time.

If you are interested, if you pre-order the album you can download the 3 tracks.
https://store.rabbitroom.com/product/leonard-the-lonely-astronaut

[Editor's note: one of the songs can be heard at the Rabbitroom -dan]

..the drift from the hearth and the family.

2011-12-02T05:51:00.001-08:00

“THE old order has been reversed. The people, instead of surveying the world from their doorsteps, survey their mortgaged doorsteps through a vague and hazy mental screen compounded by international misunderstanding and national mistrust…. The disintegration of rational society started in the drift from the hearth and the family; the solution must be a drift back.” ~GKC: ‘G.K.’s Weekly,’ 30 March 1933.

From the GK Chesterton page on Facebook today. It struck me as this also came up in the morning devotional with Becky. Fight for the family. Viva la resistance.

It is overwhelming to see the "state of the world". You feel powerless to change any of it. Although I'm pretty sure every age has said - "kids these days", "in my day we .............., not like today". And (as my wife pointed out) every generation has its issues.

"Nostalgia ain't what it used to be"

I think the key thing is the "drift back" to the hearth and the family. Be the force moving back. Not just standing where you are but steadily moving back to where we should be. Don't worry about fighting every battle, certainly support your friends and those who are fighting their battles, and also focus on your own. Working through the PC-USA issues is a current battlefront for me and our church. I appreciate friend's support, but I do not expect them to become members of our church if they aren't already. They have their own battles also. Support them so that they do not fall without being absent to your own home (there's my struggle).

Not immediately obvious, this trend away from family and hearth is also making us more isolated. That we can do all things within our own house is a lie. We have an exchange of date night & babysitting with some friends. I like that. I enjoy the date night, I enjoy being able to let them get a night away and keep the strength in their marriage.

Itch'n for a Kitchen

2011-11-16T05:50:00.001-08:00

We survived a kitchen remodel.

The selection process and debate. Cabinet arrangement, wood type, color/stain, hardware, counter, flooring, dishwasher, and wall paint. Done.

Living with a pseudo-kitchenette in our dining room. Becky did an awesome job with family meals with not much in the toolbox. And doing dishes in a tiny bathroom sink. She rocks.

Here's the kitchen from our move-in up to pics from early this week (plus a few cute kids here and there).

("Little by Little" by Eric Peters)

P S Ewww

2011-11-11T16:18:00.001-08:00

The Penn State scandal is bothersome. Not just like a flat tire delaying a trip, but soul shaking at the ugliness. The allegations are disgusting beyond words. A monster is being drug out into the light. It also bothers me for many other reasons beyond the horrific monster. Mostly the loss of knowing the right thing to do. Whether you want to say the "right" comes from basic decency, general human good, a Biblical view, or being religious - this is something that says these crimes are evil.

There are some atrocious crimes that have been committed. Legally they are currently alleged. the ugliness and volume of the charges is sickening; I'd like to push Sandusky off of a ledge.

1. JoePa
I think JoePa should have been fired. It was a complete lack of the honor he worked so hard to build upon. I have argued with 2 PSU alumni over this. For me it boils down to one simple thing - could you be friends with someone who did what Sandusky did? Even at allegations, and an underling reporting such things I'd call the cops. I'd call the cops on my brother over such allegations. The things need investigated and they'll sort out innocent/guilty.

JoePa picked PSU over right. He turned a blind eye. I couldn't look someone in the face with such an ugly cloud looming - it would need to be resolved.

Look at JoePa's "retirement" statement prior to being fired - he closed with saying he will "live the rest of his life doing what's good for the University". He is still seeing PSU or its honor as the highest aim.

He's the head of the program and easy to pick on. It is also easy to dump all the anger over the crimes onto him. He didn't commit them. He isn't that monster. He isn't a monster. He just allowed a monster to live in the dark and refused to shine the light.

2. The Church of Penn State
I have seen the religious ferver that drives many of the fans. I've seen it in alumni too. Not just PSU but also Pitt and any strong sports school. The zealots are especially crushed by this scandal because they are so invested.

If you lose sight of a higher good than living for the University (or its honor) nothing is permitted to interrupt that. Not a pesky scandal - "we have football to play". The students (I know, not all) were rioting of coach being fired and risking the game on Saturday. "We're ranked, we're a contender, we can't be bothered by this". Yeah they're students with too much time and would riot over pizza not being available in the cafeteria. They're choosing mob "fun" or football over standing for what is right. I was glad to see the candlelight vigil on Friday night. That's how it should have been on day 1.

Up the chain from janitor to the u.president people chose the University over what is right.

3. The Game
Actually I'm glad the game is being played, there is a blue out, Bradley is the coach. I think it will be part of the healing process. Sports can play such a vital part in healing; they can also provide a platform for huge statements of humanity and decency.

The risk of the game and starting the healing process; the wound isn't clean. There are more allegations floating. There is likely more ugliness to follow, more reasons to lose your lunch.

I hope healing does happen. Get all the dirt out first.

Judging books

2011-11-09T02:43:00.000-08:00

We recently did the annual begging for candy. The three kids played vagabonds in the search for loading up their goody bag. This year I was escorting a "sleepy girl" (pajamas), a knight, and Scooby Doo.

I enjoy Halloween for a few reasons:
1. Candy tastes good, it's like...candy.
2. The kids and community enjoy it.
3. I can wear the Mr. Incredible muscle suit.

For the previous two years our family went as The Incredibles. It was awesome! I knew it was a limited time gig as a family theme, but I can still wear my costume. This year I was the lone Incredible.
sniffle.

There is something extremely funny and fun about putting on the muscle suit. It causes reactions. (duh, it's supposed to). Some comments are fun, some kind of cutting, some people stare, some people laugh at the costume, and some laugh at me.

I remember having a moment of annoyance at a comment. Then I had an epiphany - I asked for it?

I didn't literally say "hey, pick on me" but I did dress up as a freak for other people to see.

I am struck by the irony of the "freaks" (in looks) that want to just be treated "like everyone else". They have chosen to stand out via strange piercings (lip, eyebrow, nose, ear expansions), tattoos, strange hair, or costumes (deliberate and otherwise). Yet do not want to be judged just because they stand out.

I guess you can't help judging books by the cover. Fair enough. I just need to not assume every book is only a cover. There's a story inside each one.

Review - Slugs & Bugs Under Where?

2011-10-25T18:23:00.000-07:00

We were Kickstarter sponsors for the latest Slugs & Bugs project.

The original Slugs & Bugs arrived as a gift from some close friends. I'd been an Andrew Peterson fan for a long time but Slugs & Bugs slipped by me. Essentially, it is a collection of songs that Randall Goodgame and Andrew Peterson (both superb songwriters) had written for their kids; plus a few. At first listen I laughed. Not just a giggle but belly laughed at some if these songs. And then I wept like a wee child. "Beautiful Girl" made me feel like a pinata. It hit me, hard & often until I broke.

The latest edition nearly gave me the same treatment.

I laughed greatly (The Wagon Song). I was more prepared for the pinata treatment. Plus, I'm a more experienced father (more kids and more mature, I think) so I've developed a tougher shell.

Slugs & Bugs has grown in the songwriting. The Mexican Rhapsody is a great display of musicianship. Songs like "I Want To Help" just strike such a common chord for adult and child. I can simply say "Cause I..." and my 3 y/o comes running and singing I want to help.

Slugs & Bugs Under Where? is a great album. These are songs that keep the kids giggling, listening and laughing. And yet my brain is not melting. I am giggling also. I am listening and laughing.

Not all the songs are a laugh fest.
"I'm Adopted" touches on the wonder of belonging to a family and that everyone of us is adopted into God's family.
"Tell it to Jesus" - there is no feelings that he can't handle.
"God Made You Special" - this song is difficult to put words to. It is beautiful lyrically and musically. This is the song I want my kids to sing and remember. "you reveal the master's touch". I hope and pray that the simple message gets from their ears to their hearts.

These are great songs that keep the kids hanging around the kitchen CD player just to hear more. Check it out if you haven't already (available here also the song Mexican Rhapsody).

Eric Peters - for the record...

2011-10-24T10:42:00.000-07:00

It's weird to call them albums when they are digital or CD's and very different from the vinyl albums. Any-who Eric Peters is Kickstarter fundraising for his album Birds of Relocation.

I'm excited for this. Eric writes from the head and the heart and pours them into his work. I first became familiar with his work with "Chrome". Awesome and kind of dark. That got me hooked and I've backfilled in the rest of his recorded material.

Eric is wrapping up a house concert tour sponsored by Under the Radar. As a stop in the swing through Grove City he played at our church for the second time.
From him playing at our church twice I've been able to hear a few that will be on the new album. Eric still amazes me that he can weave such heavy topics into such light tunes. Not light in a way the music isn't developed, it just doesn't feel bogged down. Who knew a song about being a daydreamer and letting your spouse down can be so catchy. Yippee!

This is Eric from his recent trip through Grove City "
"Don't Hold Your Breath" will be on Birds of Relocation (official video here). This has grown to be one of my favorite songs. The reality of seeing the hope for situations comes from beyond yourself. I'm anxious to hear more stories poured out.

So check out the project and support if you can. It's not a bad way to pre-order also.

Review: "In This Hour" by Jill Phillips

2011-10-19T06:13:00.000-07:00

The street release of "In This Hour" is November 8th. Becky & I were kickstarter supporters and received an advanced download.

The Rabbitroom covered this today, plus you can listen to a great song off of the album.

Jill's music has had a ninja approach into my playlist. I am a big Andy Gullahorn fan and they are a hubby/wife combo. We got their "Christmas" album despite ignoring my suggestion for calling it "Gullahorn of Plenty" and it has great music (I mentioned it here).

I few years ago I managed to get her hymn album "Kingdom Come" out of a clearance rack (score!!). Jill has a wonderful voice. I've heard "haunting" used to describe some sounds and it fits here. Not in a creepy or scary way. Just that her voice stays with you and makes your mind think of other places.

"In This Hour" is full of songs great songs. I've had it on background at work and the deep lyrics are still sinking in. I think Jill has taken a step to be more vulnerable. These songs give the listener some inside glimpse into her life; into her heart.

I won't do a song by song breakdown. There are a few that jump out to me.

"Next Big Thing" (which is on-play at the rabbitroom link above). A catchy tune about tunes not being catchy enough to make it "big".

I've seen the rise and fall of shooting stars a thousand times

I've seen them burning out re-entering the atmosphere
So if it's a choice between that glory and the mundane life
I think that I'd prefer what you and I are sharing here

"If You Were Here" - This one has lingered with me. It has such vulnerability. Written with Randall Goodgame about the loss of her father, Jill reflects on how things would be different if he were around. She sang this at Hutchmoot. It hit me then and it still does. It captures so much of how much our lives are woven together and that's a good thing.

A Greatly Horrible Story

2011-10-16T17:49:00.000-07:00

So my mind was slightly put at ease by thinking of F.O'Connor stories as "horror stories" rather than "normal" tale telling. I'm half a book in so I am speaking from a naive point of view.

Jonathan Rogers called me out on this; horror story not being naive. How is my approach different?

For me one of the differences is removal. I keep up my mental/emotional guards for horror stories. The original "Friday The 13th" had suspense and an element of mystery. After a few of these they were a joke of themselves and moved more into a shock/action/comedy realm. The first one had you mildly interested in the folks. There was also tension of "who is doing this and why?" That was out the door after the first.
I find a difference between horror stories (unsettle you) rather than shock stories which merely disgust you by affronting your normal sense of taste, decency, or morality. I'm secure enough to withstand shock stories or just turn them off for the insults that they are.

Horror stories lure me into the story. If my guards are not up then I get unsettled. I know this defeats the point of the horror story. They are aiming to make me think about them or feel something for some time afterwards. I can only enjoy them once I try to not get sucked in.

My biggest (and most effective) disconnect is I won't identify with any of the characters. I don't fall into seeing the story from their eyes, or imagining what I would do. Horror stories burn me when I've connected to someone and they end up being the bad guy. I simply don't need the reminder of my brokenness. Not being pollyanna about life. I am aware of my need for grace and the grace that has been given.

I thought F.O'Connor was an excellent story teller for creating such believable situations and people. At various points through the stories I identified with the ignorance of the character; or the desire to make someone pay for some slight that they imparted on me. My results have never been so tragic as these stories have gone.

OoooO'Connor - Where the Dark Goes Sweeping Across the Page

2011-10-11T10:22:00.000-07:00

I'm partway through "Everything That Rises Must Converge" by Flannery O'Connor. It is a collection of 9 of her short stories. She gets recommended for reading amongst some portions of Christian literature and is maligned by many who start reading and quickly discard the books.

From wiki:
Mary Flannery O'Connor

(March 25, 1925 – August 3, 1964) was an American novelist, short-story writer and essayist. An important voice in American literature, O'Connor wrote two novels and 32 short stories, as well as a number of reviews and commentaries. She was a Southern writer who often wrote in a Southern Gothic style and relied heavily on regional settings and grotesque characters. O'Connor's writing also reflected her own Roman Catholic faith, and frequently examined questions of morality and ethics

This is my first stab into FO and might be last. The stories unsettled me. My initial thinking was that it reminded me of seeing a dog hobbling along with a cast on its leg. I also thought of a dilapidated building torn down and left in a broken heap; the rubble never moved and nothing built there.

She is certainly an excellent writer giving voice to characters and a great grasp of understanding people and places. The characters and story was just dark. Terribly dark. For the few I've been through I wanted one more chapter for the nice ending. It wasn't there.

Last night I had a great epiphany which let me deal with the stories better. These aren't regular stories, these are horror stories. They are meant to unsettle. They expose something that is dark, evil, or sinful. It is unsettling due to the frame it's put in. Something (person or aspect) should be good and isn't. Or it is virtue that is twisted and displayed (often blindly) for an evil. Having pity on someone isn't necessarily bad; giving pity to that poor little child because he's black IS.

Without a doubt the world is fallen and sin, pain and brokenness is all around. Effective stories can appeal directly to a higher good, a deeper truth. They can also examine the rubble all around us and by the vacuum of good, leave you longing for the sacred. It works, it's just painful.

I'll finish the rest of these stories, probably at a slow pace. I can only endure so much. Your worst day is only the "worst" because the days after it were better. It may also have been a marker for a large change, or a hammer blow in the forging process of life.

"Sorrow and pessimism are indeed, in a sense, opposite things, since sorrow is founded on the value of something and pessimism upon the value of nothing. And in practice we find that those poets or political leaders who come from the people, and whose experiences have really been searching and cruel, are the most sanguine people in the world. These men out of the old agony are always optimists; they are sometimes offensive optimists." -GK Chesterton

Seriously Now - Hutchmoot 2011

2011-09-30T12:22:00.000-07:00

I've toyed with a few posts about this year's Hutchmoot. It is time for me to put in more than 20 minutes and get some real thoughts processed.

To get anyone lagging upto speed - what is Hutchmoot? A real world gathering of story lovers. Not just "See Spot Run" stories, but stories that have been crafted. I'm tempted to say "Christian" stories, but I can't; I can say stories with truth. A story doesn't have to mention Jesus to tell of a deeper truth. There's an online community rabbitroom.com for people drawn to these stories. Hutchmoot is that community stepping from online profiles into the real world.

Rabbitroom itself is loosely and appropriately named after the back room in the pub where the Inklings (CS Lewis, JRR Tolkien, George Williams and other) met to share stories and life over pub food and drinks. Stories and life are coupled and woven together as are food and drink. One could live for a time without food, on drink alone, but I think there would be a persistent empty feeling. Give me a meaty story to fill my belly.

One last defining point should be set - stories are told in song, book, film, stage, food, and picture. I say this to be clear, this isn't a bunch of book nerds discussing fonts. This is a bunch of story nerds discussing founts (of knowledge and understanding). This is an amazing gather of aspiring singers, writers, artists, etc. and people who just enjoy such things. It is also amazing to me that it isn't a call for people to come soak up the knowledge of these great pillars of story. It is a gathering to eat, talk, and laugh together. There weren't autograph sessions. Nobody snapping cheesy pictures with your arm around so & so. It was an opportunity for the community to be deep for a few days.

So here's Hutchmoot from my point of view.
First back story:
I have been around the RR for quite some time and am sometimes called by my friends "an Andrew Peterson stalker". I prefer to be called a "passionate follower". In '97 I was 21 and went to a Caedmon's Call concert at Grove City College with a cute girl. We went to Pitt but made the trek for a band I had recently discovered and enjoyed. This wasn't just music, this was therapy for me. I was in recovery. I was jaded to most music. I had grown weary from the "Christian" music machine, the flavor of the week band that sounded just like whatever was on the other radio stations. The machine chewed thru me and I was a crumpled heap on the other side. There used to charts that if you like Dog Daze of Summer (I hope that's not a real band) you should try listening to the Christian version - K9 Summer Soul's Dice. I was weary and CC was fresh water of good sounding music not trying to copy (maybe Rich Mullins slightly) and wasn't formula. The opening acts for that concert were Bebo Norman and Andrew Peterson, I was hooked on both of these guys. Where had this music been for the last 7 years? Since then I've followed Andrew's work. AP hasn't cut corners and has consistently delivered stories that hit me; via songs and the books too. The Rabbitroom has pointed to other quality storytellers; musicians, artists and authors. Not everything recommended or discussed has hit me the same way, sometimes I wish I would have bought something else, but there is room for varied tastes. "In my father's house there are many rooms", I prefer the one with ukuleles all over the walls inviting you to strum. Frisbees too. This isn't about following AP, it is about the deeper story. It isn't about just following Lewis, Tolkien and others; it's about being touched by what ultimately touched and inspired them.

HM 2011
I was at the first Hutchmoot. I wrote about it here. It's odd reading that post. So much of that has stuck; and unfortunately so much hasn't. That post reminds me of a CC song (Thankful):
You know I ran across an old box of letters
while packing up some clothes for Goodwill
But you know I had to laugh because the same old struggles
that plagued me then are plaguing me still.

I still view HM-2010 as transformational. My word for the 2011 gathering is transcend. What sticks in the stories that are enjoyed or moving is some element of truth that the story attempts to tell. The truth transcends the story. The power of a story, for a story to stir your gut and/or mind, comes completely by something greater than the story itself. Some are better than others at telling of the greater truth.

"To the Buddhist or the Eastern fatalist existence is a science or a plan, which must end up in a certain way. But to a Christian existence is a story, which may end up in any way. In a thrilling novel (that purely Christian product) the hero is not eaten by cannibals; but it is essential to the existence of the thrill that he might be eaten by cannibals. The hero must (so to speak) be an eatable hero. So Christian morals have always said to the man, no that he would lose his soul, but that he must take care that he didn't. In Christian morals, in short, it is wicked to call a man "damned"; but it is strictly religious and philosophic to call him damnable." -GK Chesterton

This weekend spoke of many different ways that truth in a story is transcendent. It is important to tell our children stories (S.D. Smith and Jennifer Trafton). It is important to remember that fear cripples you from telling stories. Jason Gray's grasp of this just poured out during the concert (No Thief Like Fear and Fear is Easy, Love is Hard). Some stories are best told by film (Thomas McKenzie, Chris Wall). Some just give you a glimpse and let you fill in the details (Justin Gerard picture from his website)

I'd enjoy a discussion of this artwork sometime. I LOVE it. It captured me when I first saw it and it hasn't let me go. Notice the dragon's smoke billowing out - a steady flow interrupted by breathe. I've filled this story in a few ways:

a break from battle for a pre-ordained tea time (think Sam and Ralph from looney tunes)
the boy as the ultimate mediator between inherently opposite forces, never to battle again
somethings are just more compelling than having the battle
the boy trembling in fear of what will resume after the tea break, or occur after this morning pre-battle ritual
laying aside flame and shield they decide to discuss their differences
rider and steed developing the plans before the great battle

In looking up the title "The Reluctant Dragon" it is already a story. - D'oh. I'm tempted to delete all of the above guessing, but I'm willing to let my foolish guessing stay.

(back to HM)

Through all of this story telling, community is where you receive and tell the stories. There is an extra depth when you watch a movie or read a book with a friend. Story in the community is greater than the story of the parts. And paradoxically, the best community is forged by sharing lives and stories rather than trying to form the community first and hoping you'll share lives.

It would be unfair to say a certain year's gathering was better than the other. You bring your life and get things at different times. HM-2010 was like an alarm clock going off. I was awake. In some respects 2011 was the second alarm for the parts of me trying to stay hidden and asleep. In other aspects it was the cup of coffee getting me moving now that I was awake. Not only am I awake, I'm ready - bring on the day. I do know it was great to have someone to share the coffee with. That same cute girl who was with me at the introduction to AP is still here as we hear more stories and soak up more truth through them.

Hutchmoot in a Few Poems Called Clerihew

2011-09-26T10:33:00.000-07:00

During one of the calls home during Hutchmoot I was told by my son that "I broke your hat on accident." As odd as this proclamation may sound I knew it was true. My hat was broken and he didn't mean to break it. And for some reason it sounded odd but I was not surprised in the least.

I'm not sure how you break a hat, why he had my hat, how it was accidental, when he thought it was okay to need my hat, which hat (it wasn't my favorite one, Buttpaste is safe). All of these mysteries would wait for another day.

My boy Caleb
without a mis-speak or a flub,
Informed me, he broke my hat.
I'm still unsure how he managed that.

At the mighty meeting I was asked if I was the Engineer Dan of clerihew fame. I had been discovered, my identity revealed. I was also once identified as "Mr. Incredible". That identity is slightly less hidden as I wear the costume every Tuesday to work. I receive strange looks but who wouldn't like a zip-on muscle suit. (I'm kidding, but I would like to wear it more often.)

Back to clerihews. I like them. 4 line biography poem with the name in one of the first two lines and an odd form is acceptable or even encouraged. They are short and threfore match my attention span. They are an odd challenge in word play which I enjoy.

So with my clerihew hat revealed here's Hutchmoot in a few clerihew. Not nearly a complete list and limited to the Moot speakers and some RR contributors (i.e. not other attendees).

Andrew Peterson
Surrounds himself with nerdy fun.
Where else would an introduction about "verbing" suit.
Except at a meeting called Hutchmoot.

Peterson, Pete
Organizing 'Moot is quite a feat;
He guided us better than Lance Corporal Guest
Who he sent alone on a train to Budapest.

I soaked up wise words from Jennifer Trafton
Her book holds strange lands, not with a setting sun.
Rather than stable earth that sits and does not budge
The rising, falling lands are explored by Persimmony Smudge.

Thomas McKenzie
Amidst the weekend storytelling frenzy,
Knows the secret to produce tears, happy or sad, enough to fill a cup.
Tell of gas station explosions or as Jill Phillips advised - Just Show UP!

Jonathan Rogers
Has a family full of police dodgers.
Shared of raccoon blood and pants-ing perfected.
With laughter we were all infected.

Randall Goodgame
(Wow! he has a fitting name)
For his recent albums, kids are his target ear.
I'm not sure he knows how much, to parents, he does endear.

And also there is Eric Peters
I love his music as my mind teeters.
Frustrating times, watching waters crash in
Yet pulled by grace out of our sin.

Sam - S.D. Smith
whom my Pitt battles with
I was amazed he used utensils at the dinner
being as he's from West Virginner

Andy Gullahorn
Sees music fame lacking and is forlorn.
For his shape he will not enhance
by wearing extra tight pants.

Keynote speaker - Sally Lloyd Jones
Her writing does rattle my bones.
"The Jesus Storybook Bible" brings tears when read to my young lot.
I shed them as Jesus and the Old Testament are woven and connected, dot to dot.

Hutchmoot - the morning after.

2011-09-25T17:40:00.000-07:00

I wrote all of this during some time in the car. I'll have more later.

It's 7:30am Sunday. I've slept for possibly 1.5hrs. Becky's pulled about the same. We've driven thru the night returning from Hutchmoot and we still have 1.5 hrs to go. The rest of the day will consist of us trying to be functional zombies thru feeding our kids lunch, getting them to soccer, me trying to coach, supper and then the Steelers playing tonight. Right now the clouds are a lovely blue-gray with a crimson thread laced into the bottoms. It's been awhile since we say a sunrise together. We've been awake at the right time before just never side by side facing the correct direction.

What better time and condition to write some notes about a weekend that goes like a whirlwind also.

We stopped by McKays bookstore in Nashville before sneaking into the moot. That place is huge. I feel like we only skimmed the surface pieces of gold and gems in that massive treasure chest. I'm jealous but it's surely a good thing that such a store is not in my neighborhood; I'd be broke.

We got to Hutchmoot for session 3. We were in film with Thomas McKenzie and Chris Wall. My quick mental notes pouring out: some stories are best told as film, most (all) films are about redemption or the lack there of, “UP!” still makes me weep.

After lunch there was some time for small groups (6 ppl) with various RR staff who were available in ½ hour timeslots. I had some time with Thomas McKenzie and Matt Conner. I did this so that I could pick their brains on community in Grove City. My church is wonderfully supportive. My main burning passion right now is to draw any interest out of other churches or folks in the community. A few things I picked up from this – it is not my job or in my power to “wake up” other churches. Make the personal connections and then worry about the items. This was good.

Becky had been in a different small group and then we met up and snuck into the Justin Gerard small group. Justin is a superb illustrator. We just had free time and this had empty seats, just was such a wonderful conversation. He has fears. Voices that tell him he produces garbage and his work isn't good. He makes many things that end up in the trashcan as part of the building process. The idea that “I will draw this image, when I am better” - some illustrations need to wait.

After dinner (which was awesome) the keynote speaker was Sally Lloyd Jones. Sally is the author of the “Jesus Storybook Bible”. Other books too but this one was truly inspired and is truly a vessel holding something much more than human hands alone created. It tells the gospel in such a powerful way and the idea that “every story whispers his name” makes powerful connections. It is giving kids lessons that not only last a lifetime, they build for a lifetime. These are lessons big kids need too.

Sally shared from many of her books. Her selection from the JSB was of “Daniel and the Scary Sleepover”. Last Sunday I was up for leading Children's Church at my congregation. After the Children's Sermon they get to go learn whatever lesson elsewhere. There wasn't much guidance on what to do so I took in the JSB we read this story, drew pictures and then read it again with some actions. The kids loved it, as did I. I loved hearing it again too. Sally has a unique ability to write to a child and from a child's perspective.

Other take aways from Sally's address – value children; talk up to them, not down; simply told stories, not watered down; childlike not childish; don't ruin a good story by asking "okay, what does this mean?"; mystery is magic.

After Sally there was an oral storytime. It would be a disservice to try to retell the stories of others but I can state that this was fun. There was much laughter.

Moot Day 2

2011-09-23T22:05:00.000-07:00

(this will be quick with minimal proofreading.)
I didn't have a day 1 post because it was a very nice meal and then a Square Pegs (and friends) private concert. The concert was excellent. Andy Gullahorn breaking out a new song "Skinny Jeans" was my personal highlight. There is such a richness in all of the music, and each performer brought a different color to the canvas that made for a beautiful night.

Onto Friday.

Session 1 - Building a Co-Creative Community
Lead by Thomas MacKenzie and Matt Conner
I went into this with some faint hope of hearing a miracle solution of how to break thru the walls that are preventing Grove City churches from working together. I didn't quite hear that. It was more aimed at the creative person and telling them to step out, connect with someone. You have permission to try to share your dream. There was also a sentiment expressed of "live like you've already won the war". Much of revolution is self serving - fighting a battle to get permission to hang art in the church for example. Just show up with the art and ask "where do you want me to hang this?"

This was a refreshing reminder of the blessings of my VERY supportive church, a VERY supportive wife and some great recent community starts in Grove City.

Session 2 - Children's Literature
Lead by S.D. Smith (if that is his real name) and Jennifer Trafton
Despite being from WV, I enjoy Sam. He brought a parents perspective to children's literature and the importance of story for growing into being "child-like" and not "childish". Being able to reach back and enjoy rather than stuck and unable to reach up. I think Chesterton nails this with his idea of gratitude. Roughly - if I can be grateful for stuffed Christmas stockings why can I not be grateful for legs to stuff my stockings every day.
Jennifer stole the show in relating children's literature from a writers perspective. She had so much great insight. Insight into not just writing for a moral or a point, writing for a story and character and the moral or symbolism might flow into the story but it isn't the story. There is a rumor (she said it) her talk will be posted which will be well worth reading and enjoying again. I am excited for any book she gets out there.

Foods.
Lunch was catered by Baja Burrito. No wonder this place is so well loved.
For dinner Evie had some wonderful homemade bread, salad, and Italian Wedding soup. I don't know who the Italian is who got married, but they sent over some yummy stuff.

The Jason Gray launch concert was great. Jason has a stage vulnerability and humility that is charming and inviting. The build-up to the powerful closing of "Thank You Jesus" was incredible. A great show. I can throw superlatives and comparisons at it and it still won't be adequate. Powerful and moving.

One last thought - an epiphany thought. Jason mentioned Genesis 3 and being cursed to toil the ground and work; there will be thistles and thorns. A lightning bolt thought hit me to how God uses the very curse to crown Jesus. There's MUCH more depth to that, I just had to write it down before it slipped away.

Hutch 1! Hutch 2!

2011-09-20T11:51:00.000-07:00

Hutchmoot is this weekend. What is a Hutchmoot? (click to read)
I made it to the first one last year, HM-MMX, and am even more excited for this year's convention. I get to have my wife with me. Last year was awesome. Food. Fellowship. Music. Stories. And as cool as that 1.5 days were, they paled to the growth & transformation out of it. (see here)

For this year, we missed the six hour window during ticket sales and ended up on the waiting list. And we waited to the point of assuming we wouldn't get in. Last Thursday we received an e-mail that spots had opened up and we could get in. We talked & prayed and decided to take the plunge.

This is nerve racking for a few reasons. My dad has graciously and wonderfully volunteered to burn some vacation time and watch our kids. Can he handle a 3 y/o ninja? It costs money. Can we swing it? It's a 10hr drive each way. Will the car hold up? Will the conversation hold up? Will we be held up?

I woke up around 3:30 last night. I saved my 7 y/o from a scary stuffed animal (she called it scary and I agree; it was truly intimidating, it kept looking at you) and then laid there for about 20 minutes. No sleep met my eyes so I went downstairs and read. I tried that sleeping thing again around 4:30. It was like the mountain in the distance that never gets any closer; and it never got closer. Crawl out of bed at 5:00 and start routine to head into work.

The entire time of being awake my mind kept stirring. It was an odd mix of nervous anxiety for the trip and preparations, as well as anticipation for a full weekend of excitement. Like the pressure of having to build all the kids toys the night before Christmas and still being excited for Christmas morning. I'm trying to not pester Becky with my flitting between the two extremes; not sure it's working.

I'm also trying to keep a limit on my expectations. Last year I had high hopes and was blown away. What are the chances it can repeat? I'm trying not to ponder that, trying to just go and enjoy it. Enjoy the spiritual feeding and a quality weekend Becky.

I'm pretty sure Wednesday night may require an extra toast to the end of the day (Straub) to help me sleep through the night. To the Moot.

"We talk of art as something artificial in comparison with life. But I sometimes fancy that the very highest art is more real than life itself. At least this is true; that in proportion as passions become real they become poetical; the lover is always trying to be the poet." GK Chesterton

Bridge Jumping

2011-09-13T10:00:00.000-07:00

Stonebridge is on the outside of town (Mount Joy) on Pinkerton Road. It was built in the 1880's and has withstood time better than most modern bridges. The simple and lasting design has a spirit of integrity and thinking of the future. A stone bridge. It straddles a creek that isn't wide enough to skip stones across. With some practice you can skip diagonal or down the length where it bend. Even with a good angle you might get 5 skips before hitting the other side.

As a bored teenager in a small town somehow we developed a game we referred to as "bridge jumping". Some evenings we would sit at the top of this high arch bridge and talk, sometimes smoking cigars, and solve all the worlds problems. This was actually the setup to the game to talk until the first indications of a car was coming. Then we would sprint away from the car down the arch until it was estimated to be a safe height to jump over the side to the ground. The idea was to remain "unseen" even though our ride was generally 50 feet away on the side of the road.

I will refrain from making any claims to this being a creative, clever or wise game. One, it was obvious we were there, we didn't hide our car. Two (and part of the thrill), we had a reasonable chance of spraining an ankle or breaking a leg on every jump. It was anywhere from a ten to twenty foot drop. These are things bored country boys do.

Recently the central PA area was skimmed by hurricane Irene which saturated the ground and then tropical storm Lee took up residence. He was a terrible renter; he wrecked the whole place much worse than a security deposit will account for. The security deposit check bounced.

Seeing the bridge so close to underwater really hit me. I now live 250 miles away but I longed to be there to do something. Reality is I would have nothing to do to help. Still, that's not just another town with troubles, that's my town. That's my bridge.

Another sentiment stirred within me beyond wanting to help; a feeling of permanence. I was struck with how Stonebridge is built to last. It has survived many floods (few this severe), cars bumping it (it's not an easy turn for the new driver), and countless vehicles passing over unaware of anything but the road. Unaware of the hardwork of the bridgebuilders. The builders of that bridge took pride in their work. It took hardwork and time to build it this way. They built something to last, not something to go with the flow.

A whole bunch of competing thoughts want to take over direction of this post - I can't pick a winner so here they all are:
Am I a wise builder?
-Time killers (tv, video games) vs. time fillers (building toward something - family, practice music, read a good book) (that one stings) plugging in vs. unplugging.
-Building for the future. Rock solid and ready for tough times.

What am I building?
-Principles or fads - do you build/work in a way that will last, or is it a fashion that looks neat (Tacoma Narrows Bridge) and doesn't last.

What material/supports am I using?
- Stone supports - am I standing on something solid?

As a kid playing a game:
-Politics - kids sitting on top of something built by men wiser, more diligent and more vision than they have. Also the kids running & jumping off at pretend "troubles" and when the waters rise it would be the safe place to be.
- More politics. The wise builders weren't trying to solve every problem, they solved one permanently and moved onto the next. They didn't keep a problem around so that it was theirs to fix and manage next year.

Going home:
- If your first floor is washed away what have you lost? What do you have that can't be washed away?

Self Effort
Here's your bucket, go move the water.

Which leads me to a song that I dig up and play very often (and it's not AP).

Don't Hold Your Breath - Eric Peters from Patrick Gines on Vimeo.

Remembering 9/11

2011-09-11T04:52:00.000-07:00

10 years ago I was working 3rd shift at USAirways. 3rd shift is weird. I could come home and eat a bowl of spaghetti, enjoy steak & beer, or go for a bowl of cereal. All seemed to fit because 3rd shift was so unnatural it made everything else natural.

I was asleep on the couch and Becky called to tell me an airplane crashed. While plane crashes are tragic and rare, they happen. As an "insider" we tended to watch them and follow them more closely. Sleep to my weary eyes was a more pressing need than watching news about a plane crash. And return to sleep I did.

She called back about 45minutes later and told me this looks more serious. I watched the news all the rest of that day. Numb is the best word to describe it. You wanted answers: who? why? where? how many? Is any of my family in danger?

Those answers would be filled in over the next few weeks and months but the real ache of "why" could still be lingering today. "Why" doesn't always get answered.

Andrew Peterson wrote "The Silence of God" out of that tragedy. It puts words to it better than I ever could. It still stands as one of my favorite songs.

So here 10 years out it is a time to remember. The world doesn't always make sense. There is evil in the world. Even tragedies have heroes. The tragedies don't define heroes it just helps us to see them; and they tend to be the people who defy the tragedy to just do what they do. Thanks to all police, firefighters, and military for doing what you do.

My New Favorite Passage

2011-09-08T11:01:00.000-07:00

"This paradox is the whole principle of courage; even of quite earthly or quite brutal courage. A man cut off by the sea may save his life if he will risk it on the precipice." Orthodoxy, GK Chesterton

John 6:60-69.
⁶⁰ On hearing it, many of his disciples said, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?”
⁶¹ Aware that his disciples were grumbling about this, Jesus said to them, “Does this offend you? ⁶² Then what if you see the Son of Man ascend to where he was before! ⁶³ The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you—they are full of the Spirit^[e] and life. ⁶⁴ Yet there are some of you who do not believe.” For Jesus had known from the beginning which of them did not believe and who would betray him. ⁶⁵ He went on to say, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled them.”
⁶⁶ From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.
⁶⁷ “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve.
⁶⁸ Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. ⁶⁹ We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.”

I have a new favorite passage. It may only be there for a few days (3 now), it may reside for the rest of my life.

It has been awakening and refreshing to me for a few reasons. This sticks in my head (along with the rich young ruler) as a time when the hard teaching presses followers (or potential followers) to the wall and some walk away. Then Peter's response rattled my bones.

First, Jesus's teachings are not always easy. The more you look at them the harder they are. That's refreshing at a time when so much seems to get fluffed up and sugar coated to be consumable. All the while losing substance and leaving you empty. From the world, it is generally assumed and taught that Jesus was a pacifist and sought some middle road to make everyone happy. He was a candyman handing out happy treats to followers and churches should do the same. Lie. He told his followers to be ready to bear a cross. 1.A is that I shouldn't expect to be able to offer the truth as a message of ease and comfort. This is more a point of conviction rather than rejoicing for me; I'm not seeking to upset people and generally keep my mouth shut rather than stir up people I don't know. Truth in love may (and will) mean teaching hard things.

Second, people stopped following and went away. This was a dividing line teaching (Jesus came as a sword, Matt 10). If the faith of the followers was a logical ascent to something higher, or chasing a candyman they went home at this point. If my faith is only worth following when it makes sense or when it makes my belly happy I'm in trouble. It isn't faith at all it is a convenient rewards program.

Third, I love Peter's answer to the question of "You do not want to leave too, do you?" It wasn't a matter of wanting to leave, he answers - where am I to go? You hold life. Not completely unrelated to the point above, I may not always understand the truth but I can trust and know that the source is the the source of life and the only source of life. There may be points during a confusing time when the desire is low, but that doesn't change Jesus being the source. It actually reinforces the need for drinking straight from the source. "We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God".

Fourth, is that all of the other teachings may be mental ascents or candyman chasing as well, there will reach a point where you have to chose to go home or press on. The only reason to press on is if it is known and trusted as a life giving source. When the path gets tough; or the formula or rituals crumble under the weight of the world; are you left saying "huh, I guess I'll go home" or at a point of belief and knowing "I can go back to a house but it is empty, I need to stay by the side of Jesus for that's where my life is found".

Tell me the story...again

2011-09-06T13:08:00.000-07:00

"In painting and music we are inferior to many other nations; but in literature, science, philosophy, and political eloquence, if history be taken as a whole, we can hold our own with any. But all this vast heritage of intellectual glory is kept from our schoolboys like a heresy; and they are left to live and die, in the dull and infantile type of patriotism which they learn from a box of tin soldiers." - GK Chesterton

In school, I hated history. It was boring memorization of dates and names; and never the story of the people involved. It was left as small-talk "hi", instead of interesting "story".

2/3 of my kids start off to school today. They may be too young to delve too deeply into history but when it does occur I hope their teachers are storytellers and not small talkers.

Book Review - "The Chosen" by Chaim Potok

2011-08-30T19:42:00.000-07:00

I recently finished "The Chosen" by Chaim Potok. "My Name is Asher Lev" (same author) was recommended as a good read (I still haven't read it). "The Chosen" was at halfpricebooks so I took a shot.

It was very good. A book that makes reading and debating the Talmud interesting has something going on. Good storytelling carry it through and lays bare the meaning of friendship and the struggles between father and son.

It is a story that has common elements and gets you caring about the boys (Danny and Reuven). They are growing up in New York in loosely rival Jewish communities during WW2. The story timing also continues into the struggle and establishment of Israel as a nation. While those world changing events are happening Danny and Reuven go through highschool and through college.

It is an easy read and sticks with you. Definitely emotionally driven rather than action driven but I was hooked early and never lost interest.

If you get the time and inclination give it a shot. It is an enjoyable read. 9/10.

A deeper look (probably spoilers, I'm not trying to avoid them)

Becky and I had a spell of watching Malcolm in the Middle. It was a super show. Well written, very funny and just enjoyable. In the show Malcolm is a genius and survives growing up in a "barely getting by" family with brothers (and himself) causing many hijinx. In one episode Malcolm is in the school gifted program and a new student shows up. New guy is ultra-genius. Malcolm is relating how it is to think ultra fast. The new kid says (roughly) "my head is a swarm of bees, and everyone one of them thinks like that". That's Danny and Reuven. Reuven is smart and Danny is smart squared (probably to the 3rd).

Danny is raised by his Orthodox Jewish Rabbi father, Reb, in a manner that is strange. After deep Talmud study Danny is quizzed and debated by his father. They have no talking beyond this. NONE. At one point Danny speaks of learning to listen in the silence. Reb talks with his other children as is normal in child rearing. I was truly perplexed by this until the closure at the end. Early on Reb gets a glimmer of Danny's brilliance and a complete lack of compassion (he has a mind, he needs to get a soul). Reb had a brilliant brother and saw him grow up cruel and heartless, and Reb is resolved to make better of his brilliant son. The philosophy goes that Danny will learn pain and heartache in the silence. It works, but at such a price.

I had about 2 seconds of thinking of raising my kids in silence. It would be a burden I couldn't bear. I get terrified at various times by my kids. Raising a family in such a fast moving and corrupt world is overwhelming at times.

Reuven is the sounding board, compassionate ear, and guidance that Danny had been needing. He also helps Reb to hear what his son is struggling with. All brought to light in the climax/reconciliation of the book (which I just ruined for you).

There is also a focus of the Zionist debate in the establishment of a Jewish state. An orthodox Jewish Rabbi (Reb) is strongly (violently) opposed to a Jewish state. I found this interesting to see. I can see and understand Reb's opposition to this. I have the same thoughts on a "Christian" nation. There are some principles that can be established and held as goals to aspire to. However, you cannot legislate faith. Corporate faith only happens when it is a group of individuals with faith. A national faith is a shallow and faulty image of what true belief is. It tends to be a watered down version that everyone is comfortable with; faith gets tested when it becomes uncomfortable.

There is a short flash of numerology. Using the numbers of certain words to develop a deeper understanding of the Talmud. Basically I think it is shoddy as a Biblical interpretation and it basically gets shot down as a tool within "The Chosen". Neat and amusing but there is enough flexibility to create any number and re-interpret it to get to any word/answer. It is notable that Reuben excels at this and Danny can't get his head around it.

I don't like this story...

2011-08-18T12:42:00.000-07:00

Sometimes parenting is just fun.

At times I like to hand kids an imagination football and see how far they run with it. I hand the tape measure to my 3 y/o and watch her go. The 6 and 7 y/o like to see if the world measures up. With no surprise, it generally doesn't. They learned that lesson faster than me.

Most of us growing up had the game where the ground is "lava" and you move around the room on furniture and pillows. Using sticks as swords and guns is fairly common play. Pine cones make great hand grenades; and a paper towel roll is good for days of adventure. It is like the Swiss army knife of imagination world.

Imaginary play with things can be great enjoyment.

Then there is the times where your imagination plays with you.

I can distinctly recall being 5-6ish and we had a friend's mannequin in our dining room for a few months. Didn't everybody? Our only bathroom was upstairs with the bedrooms. At night I had to sprint by this item of terror for any bathroom visit and the eventual bedtime. Looking back, it was as normal as can be for a mannequin in a dining room. At 5, it scared me. It also scared me on many levels. As terrifying as the figure was that could spring to life at any moment; there was also the fear riding the back of built up anticipation. Looming fear. I knew that cold, hideous beast was there, and it wanted to eat me.

I'm sure my parents may have thought my sprints were just child energy getting burned off, or another round of imaginary games. For me it was a battle of life and death. My spindly legs had to carry me; quick as lightning past this demon. It had them fooled by not moving, but I knew it was just waiting to get me.

By our rules Caleb, now 6, has the overhead light on for a few minutes and then is reduced to the light on the nightstand; it is still plenty strong to read by. For a few months from his room we heard various quickened footsteps, leaps and mad scrambles. Then one day he explained that after the big light is out he has 8 seconds to be off of his bed to get more books or get that last drink of water. If he's more than 8 seconds, then "things" will get him.

I know what he's going through and I laugh. Not at him or childish games; I know the severity of this battle. I laugh at the common thread that binds us, that thought amuses me.

For now, he will run fast and sleep hard. He has another battle tomorrow.

Vacating the Vacation

2011-08-17T12:58:00.000-07:00

We returned from a vacation around midnight last night. My super wife took the last driving leg so I could sleep and have some semblance of functioning today. If only work had cooperated.

I'm starting to see a trend from any vacation return.

Comfort. You get back home and there is true comfort in sleeping in your own bed. Your head hitting your own pillow is a good thing.

Fear. The alarm clock is a cruel torture device to remind you that responsibilities are creeping in. The trip is over, back to the routine.

Perseverance. You manage to get to the point where you face the responsibility head on. It could be a stuffed inbox of e-mail, a mountain of laundry, a fridge that needs to be restocked, or a cat that needs to be kicked (done.).

False hope. Attempting this return to the routine without a bonus coffee is not advised. Make a full pot and enjoy. Repeat as needed. It'll help you feel on the ball. Once you've climbed the mountain and think you're back to the regular life something hits you.

Reality. I've also learned that my return to work is usually met by a severe oversight in something I planned. I scrambled to get a project to a good stopping point before the absence. In my scrambling I sometimes overlook obvious details. It is kind of like a diabolical scheme to set fire to the sun; there's a severe flaw in such a scheme.

Back in the rut. I'm now back to feeling like I need a vacation. Just some time away from this current overlooked detail that will result in meetings and a few more days of feeling like a fish trying to swim up Niagara Falls.

In another day or two this debacle will pass and another will rise to take it's place. I actually don't mind them, it is what I do. It was just nice to have some time away with my family.

Now Playing

2011-08-10T11:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted for a little bit so here's a filler piece.

On my background music at work I have a playlist called "Hearstrings". It is my quick and incomplete collection of songs that just really touch me. Happy, sentimental and semi-mental, contemplative, mournful. It covers a pretty broad range. I put it together one day about 8 months ago and haven't modified it since. Although I probably should.

It is incomplete in that I need to get more of my music here to work for listening. Step 2 is that I need to get it onto the list. I'd have a tough time picking a top 5 or a top 10, so here's my top 15.

In no particular order (Song Title - Album - Artist):
I Will Find a Way - Christmas - Jill Phillips & Andy Gullahorn
Beautiful Girl - Slugs, & Bugs & Lullabies - Andrew Peterson & Randall Goodgame
In the Night My Hope Lives On - Counting Stars - AP
You Came So Close - Counting Stars - AP
Lay Me Down - The Far Country - AP
More - The Far Country - AP
Family Man - Love and Thunder - AP
The Silence of God - Love and Thunder - AP
After the Last Tear Falls - Love and Thunder - AP
I've Got News - Resurection Letters Vol 2 - AP
The Hammer Holds - Ten Thousand Days - Bebo Norman
Rita - Ten Thousand Days - Bebo Norman
The Secret - Room to Breathe - Andy Gullahorn
Burning Bushes - Room to Breathe - Andy Gullahorn
Tools - Love and Thunder - AP

A Bird in the Hand...

2011-08-02T06:23:00.000-07:00

I saw this today.
http://wusa9.com/news/article/161065/158/Woodpecker-Saving-Daughter-Costs-Mom-500

it makes me laugh and cry at the same time. mmmm....paradox.

An 11 year old saves a woodpecker from being eaten by the family cat. They take it to Lowe's while buying a cage to nurse it and get stopped by a Fish & Wildlife officer in the store. The officer tells them it is endangered and transporting it is illegal.

They take it home and release. Then a few days get fined for transporting an endangered species.

Moral of the story: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. With the exchange rate a bush is $250 dollars.

Play time - A Review of Magic by GK Chesterton

2011-07-28T06:47:00.000-07:00

For the text of the play look here:
Project Gutenberg Link to Magic

I make no claims to have read many plays. The required amount in highschool plus a few, they are not regularly put on my reading list.  I am a Chesterton fan and fairly familiar with his writing style and thinking; both of which I enjoy.

I downloaded this to test our Nook we received for Christmas. I merely knew it was a play written by GKC. I wanted to see readability, page turning and general format with a secondary goal of getting through another GKC item. I was awake until somewhere near 3am finishing this story. It is compelling and lingers long after reading.

This is GKC's first foray into being a playwright. He had a close friendship with George Bernard Shaw despite being very far apart in philosophy/theology. Shaw prodded GKC into penning the play. I haven't read/seen enough Shaw to say it was clearly against the thinking of blah-blah or counter to the contemporary writings of the time. I can say I greatly enjoyed it.

GKC pours humor and dark themes into this tale. I chuckled at the banter back and forth and just couldn't put the book down. He also sharply takes shots at the philosophies of his time. He does so in much of his other writings but this is a neat and concise shooting down of characters holding to each.

A dinner party seems to have been planned with a conjurer for entertainment. The party guests end up seeing a challenge to what they believe rather than sleight of hand parlor tricks.

The characters are fairly simple as is typical for shorter plays and thinking driven plays. The politician with his disbelief in anything solid (paying both sides of an issue); the doctor is a scientific skeptic; the American businessman who believes in materialism, capitalism and himself; the parson who doesn't believe in miracles. The only characters with some moderate depth are Patricia and the Conjurer himself.

(spoilers will follow)

The whole scene turns on a trick that cannot be explained. Well it can be explained in that it is magic. This explanation causes a fit of lunacy in the American and the others are scrambling to beg bribe the secret out of the conjurer.   His response is simple and true: If I told you, you would not believe.

The play drives hard at the schools of thought that force everything to fit within the given mold. Any explanation is good except the one that is true that is refused. It is refused because it doesn't fit the pattern.
If I take as a given that there are no miracles; then all the "miracles" must be explained, no matter how absurd the explanation.

For me, the surprising part of the play is the parson - Smith.   Smith should be the first to acknowledge magic as he should miracles. He denies both because he doesn't believe his own creed.

As the American is going mad he meets with the Conjurer:
Smith. [In a low voice.] One moment, sir.
Conjurer. What do you want?
Smith. I want to apologize to you. I mean on behalf of the company. I think it was wrong to offer you money. I think it was more wrong to mystify you with medical language and call the thing delirium. I have more respect for conjurer's patter than for doctor's patter. They are both meant to stupefy; but yours only to stupefy for a moment. Now I put it to you in plain words and on plain human Christian grounds. Here is a poor boy who may be going mad. Suppose you had a son in such a position, would you not expect people to tell you the whole truth if it could help you?
Conjurer. Yes. And I have told you the whole truth. Go and find out if it helps you.

[Turns again to go, but more irresolutely.

Smith. You know quite well it will not help us.
Conjurer. Why not?
Smith. You know quite well why not. You are an honest man; and you have said it yourself. Because he would not believe it.
Conjurer. [With a sort of fury.] Well, does anybody believe it? Do you believe it?
Smith. [With great restraint.] Your question is quite fair. Come, let us sit down and talk about it. Let me take your cloak.
Conjurer. I will take off my cloak when you take off your coat.
Smith. [Smiling.] Why? Do you want me to fight?
Conjurer. [Violently.] I want you to be martyred. I want you to bear witness to your own creed. I say these things are supernatural. I say this was done by a spirit. The Doctor does not believe me. He is an agnostic; and he knows everything. The Duke does not believe me; he cannot believe anything so plain as a miracle. But what the devil are you for, if you don't believe in a miracle? What does your coat mean, if it doesn't mean that there is such a thing as the supernatural? What does your cursed collar mean if it doesn't mean that there is such a thing as a spirit? [Exasperated.] Why the devil do you dress up like that if you don't believe in it? [With violence.] Or perhaps you don't believe in devils?
Smith. I believe.... [After a pause.] I wish I could believe.
Conjurer. Yes. I wish I could disbelieve.

The parson is most surprising in that I wasn't expecting him to come up short. It is an excellent point and it makes sense, I just didn't see it coming. In "The Ball and The Cross" GKCathiest who is just as committed. They seek to duel and the story really begins.

GKC believed the creeds and saw no way of not believing in them. He was frustrated by casual Christianity.

I found this to be a tremendously easy read and a great snapshot of much of GKC's work. He is a superb at seeing how philosophies boil down to bones that crack in the light of examination. He has a mastery of words and wit that can prove a point.

I wonder if Shaw regretted challenging GKC to write a play? I'm guessing there are a few inside jokes in the play that would make Shaw smile. I'm also guessing there are a few points in there that kept him squirming. Maybe Shaw followed up by equally challenging him to not write another one.

Signs of the Times

2011-07-19T06:08:00.000-07:00

I'm generally content in my own little world and don't lash out with criticism at things. It usually strikes me as being smug (prideful), and not productive. I see stupidity everyday and it often produces a chuckle. Sometimes a sadness that someone didn't see the errors.

I'm taking exception to my general principal today. Mostly because stupidity on signs is advertising stupidity. Not that you have a bad product, but there should be more care in putting out a quality message. Unless you're a mattress salesman.

Today I'm going to laugh at peoples mistakes. 2 items specifically.

I drove by this for 3 days before snapping a pic. Now it's perplexing, and I see 3 options to explain it:
1) Accidental - It should be "TOO bad common sense isn't".
2) Intentional - A self fulfilling statement of lacking common sense. Similar to "there are 3 kinds of people in the world; those who can count and those who can't."
3) Real Estate Issues - The sign is too small for the intended message. It may be starting a letter.
"To bad common sense,
Isn't.....
it a shame that you are such a good teacher and I fail to pay attention."
the gray sky contrary to what the weatherman predicted. I'll trust the weatherman. I don't need an umbrella."

I laugh at all 3 of these options.

Working Together for the Perfect Fit

I saw this for about 3 weeks before it hit me that this is so close to being good sign but it is actually terrible. 2 months later I finally pulled over and snapped the pic.

It is nice, except the pieces don't fit. This is a great example of a slight error that instead of being able to be overlooked, it thwarts the entire message. The pieces don't work together. They aren't the perfect fit; they don't fit at all.

So Parents & Business can work together. Community (which would be parents & business) can work with teachers. But nothing works with any of the schools; which may be true. But why would you advertise it unless you were asking for reform?

Ellwood Area Education Association should be embarrassed. It is the kind of thing if you were for the intent of your message you smack yourself in the forehead. I laugh at you.

(all of this being said knowing that I am just as silly, stupid, and ignorant. As any of my blog posts will clearly demonstate. I laugh at myself more than anyting else)

Movie time - Kung Fu Panda 2 (and Dreamworks)

2011-07-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

I see this going two topical directions; a review of KFP2 and how Dreamworks is different from Pixar.

First the original Kung Fu Panda. My kids beat me up for a few ours after first seeing KFP. It was fun and a nice story despite the bruises that followed. Excellent animation and voice acting as you would expect anymore.

KFP2 kept the same pace. Story, animation and delivery. I think sequels can be either a continuation in the timeline (Hobbit & LOTR) or another chapter in the lives of the characters (Rocky 1-5). KFP2 was another story in the lives of the characters. Po is now the dragon warrior and is still studying and growing in Kung Fu. I think it did well for making drawing me in and caring about Po. It touches on themes of destiny and choices, and the meaning of family.

Onto Pixar vs. Dreamworks
In doing quick research for this blog I found some interesting comparisons between Pixar & Dreamworks

Pixar - Lucasfilm, Steve Jobs, Disney (after '06)
Dreamworks (animation) - Spielberg, Paul Allen (Microsoft co-founder, investor), Paramount

I think Pixar tends to work harder for the art of the story-movie. Well set situations, compelling characters and good stories. I would go so far as saying they work at and enjoy the art of storytelling. At the end you're happy but pondering, or motivated, or perplexed; generally moved. You go play with your childhood toys again (Toy Story). You value your friends more than glory (Cars). You value relationships (Up!). You dig in the garden and like it (Wall-E). You try a new recipe (Ratatouille). You fight for your family even if your scared (and scarred) from bad outcomes (Finding Nemo)

Dreamworks is all about the movie. They found a niche and are running with it. They have churned out sequels (Shrek, Madagascar, KFP2, How to Train Your Dragon 2 and Madagascar 3 on the way) and will probably continue to do so. They tend to make a fun movie to watch with your kids, some jokes aimed at the adults, good animation, and good acting. At the end you're happy and come out to resume your life, having had a 98 minute break. You laugh at Shrek, Po, bees, Bob and 50-ft Susan,.

Both studios are good with what they do; and I'm glad. I seek more and find more from Pixar. I will still go and see both, and enjoy both. One seems to stay with me longer because I'm getting old and sappy.

More PC-USA stuff

2011-07-13T06:45:00.000-07:00

I attended a Shenango Presbytery meeting last night on the denominational issues. It had a large turnout (175-ish) and I haven't seen that large of a cross-church gathering that fired up in a long time. It felt like a church softball game.

Everyone was about on the same side. There was a general wondering of "how did we get here?" and "is this what the denomination is focused on?" "What about Jesus?". I wonder the same thing but on more than the issue of ordaining those who will not submit to "faithfulness and marriage and chastity in singleness" (old language now removed). Also, and just as stomach churning for me, is how did we get so tied to "social justice"?

Social Justice is a vague term to cover many errors. On the surface who would be opposed to social justice. A just society is essential and a good thing. But when social justice is used to support social programs and political ideologies everyone loses. Social Justice becomes a joke and those truly suffering from injustice are ignored. It seems like giving them padding for the shackles instead of removing the shackles. We can feel better about ourselves, have a nice padded program, pad a pad company profits, and leave those suffering exactly where they are so we can find them and "help" them tomorrow. Social Justice is about the programs and not about stopping the injustice.

The meeting last night was refreshing in that people are getting involved, aware, and passionate about their churches. It may lead to the PC-USA having fewer congregations. It may lead to some changes in the PC-USA. I don't know if much will change for the denomination though. And truly it seems like it isn't much of a hop for churches to switch to another Presby denomination. All should be considered prayerfully. Hopefully it drives everyone to their knees.

'The Church is not a thing like the Athenaeum Club,' he cried. 'If the Athenaeum Club lost all its members, the Athenaeum Club would dissolve and cease to exist. But when we belong to the Church we belong to something which is outside all of us: which is outside everything you talk about, outside the Cardinals and the Pope. They belong to it, but it does not belong to them. If we all fell dead suddenly, the Church would still somehow exist in God.'
The Ball and the Cross - GK Chesterton

Cars 2 - a speedy review

2011-07-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

I took the movie going wee ones to see Cars 2 on Sunday. I didn't like it that much.

I love Pixar and the work they do. They have a history of making movies that are fun to watch. Fun for the adults and the kids. It isn't just neat animation, but even more they tell great stories. They draw you in and don't let you go until they are ready. And that's fine by me.

Lifted an example of Pixar doing what it does.
http://youtu.be/pY1_HrhwaXU

Toy Story - It is the landmark movie that did more than put Pixar on the Hollywood map; it redefined (rediscovered?) what movies are about. Big gamble, big payday. Would people accept computer animation instead of classic cels? Yes. Because a good story is worth watching. Not really the founder of the genre, the genre existed but was lost under "The Land Before Time 23 - Because Kids like Dinosaurs and we don't have any original ideas". I'm glad Pixar re-found quality animated movies. The first one was excellent and unlike usual sequel attempts they kept getting better.

Up! - The first 10 minutes had me sitting there babbling in the theater with my kids wondering what was wrong. Why is dad crying? Because I now know why the old man is grumpy.

Wall-E - makes me want to go out and do something; it touches my inner spirit of activity. That or I just sat through a 2 hour movie and need to stretch my legs - either way I'm getting up and marching straight outside to enjoy a beer while sitting on the porch. Somehow Pixar pulls off a Johnny-5 clone being a believable character that you care about.

Cars was very good for the same reason. It was a great story which very effectively laid out some tough human feelings (identity - who am I really?) on vehicles. There was no huge, scary bad guy. Plenty of layered jokes for kids and adults.

Cars 2 is not the original Cars.

Cars 2 kept with the jokes and good animation but lost something. It came off as an easy sequel to me; which isn't what Pixar does. It was not story driven, it was the Mater show. There were a few subtle James Bond, name puns, and lemon car jokes; but there wasn't a compelling story. It felt like a Disney sequel and not a Pixar movie. A friend told me he enjoyed it because now it had action. I felt like it had action and jokes but no story.

Pixar had done well for a long time under the Disney umbrella of not cutting the corners. Pixar wasn't about following formula for box office success, it was about making movies worth making and worth watching. They took pride in their art and every one of their films was a homerun, until Cars 2.

The movie was okay, just not the usual level of Pixar quality. I hope it is merely a stumble and not a harbinger of Pixar being absorbed into the Disney machine. Toy Story 2 and 3 did away with my scepticism that it would just be a mediocre sequel. It is easy to recycle characters & jokes just for more tickets. Pixar kept the bar high and each installation was compelling storytelling. I was expecting the same from Cars 2 and left unimpressed.

Art is the Signature of Man

2011-07-07T11:31:00.000-07:00

It is the simple truth that man does differ from the brutes in kind and not in degree; and the proof of it is here; that it sounds like a truism to say that the most primitive man drew a picture of a monkey and that it sounds like a joke to say that the most intelligent monkey drew a picture of a man. Something of division and disproportion has appeared; and it is unique. Art is the signature of man. -GK Chesterton

On PC-USA Denomination Issues

2011-07-04T04:37:00.000-07:00

Our church (local) is wrestling with recent changes by the large PC-USA denomination. This letter was drafted to let the congregation know where the session and presbytery was standing. -Dan

On PC-USA Denomination Issues

Center Church is at a cross roads in its long and rich history. Culture changes with the times, and our current culture has forced a debate upon our congregation that some wonder why there is a debate at all.

Center Presbyterian Church is a congregation within the Shenango Presbytery of the Presbyterian Church USA. PC-USA had a proposed amendment before the 2010 General Assembly referred to as -10A. This amendment was for a change in the Book of Order regarding officers of the church. Previously the Book of Order read for office standard as:

"Those who are called to office in the church are to lead a life in obedience to Scripture and in conformity to the historic confessional standards of the church. Among these standards is the requirement to live either in fidelity within the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman (W-4.9001), or chastity in singleness. Persons refusing to repent of any self-acknowledged practice which the confessions call sin shall not be ordained and/or installed as deacons, elders, or ministers of the Word and Sacrament."

To:

"Standards for ordained service reflect the church’s desire to submit joyfully to the Lordship of Jesus Christ in all aspects of life (G-1.0000). The governing body responsible for ordination and/or installation (G.14.0240; G-14.0450) shall examine each candidate’s calling, gifts, preparation, and suitability for the responsibilities of office. The examination shall include, but not be limited to, a determination of the candidate’s ability and commitment to fulfill all requirements as expressed in the constitutional questions for ordination and installation (W-4.4003). Governing bodies shall be guided by Scripture and the confessions in applying standards to individual candidates.”

In other words, it is now up to each Presbytery and congregation to determine the standards for the Officers of the church. The long standing requirements of the denomination can now be changed by each church. They may determine that the Biblical standard is less important than style or yield to a desire to reach out to the culture. This being a local option Center Church is not required to lower our standard, and will continue to hold to the traditional Book of Order regarding the offices of the church.

The votes are still being tallied (amendments are voted upon for one year and closes July 10) but the amendment already has a sufficient number that it will pass. There is nothing to be done regarding it passing. The Book of Order will be changed and some Presbyteries and congregations may start ordaining avowed, unrepentant, practicing gay officers.

The Shenango Presbytery has taken a firm stand against -10A. They are drafting a response and a document clarifying the options for the congregations. The passing of -10A marks a decision point for each congregation. There are some churches that will stay and fight. These churches will seek to form a united block and still remain under the PC-USA structure. Some are seeking other Reformed Denominational bodies that hold to a scriptural understanding at every level.

Session is awaiting this document and will prayerfully discuss and weigh the options for Center Church. Things may move slowly in this process but the process is moving and our Session, in representing our congregation, seeks to stand firmly upon the Holy Scripture.

The Gospel is good news to be shared with every end of the creation. We are to reach out to culture with love and grace, for without the love and grace of Jesus we are lost. We must also be sure that in reaching out we do not lose our firm foundation on the rock of our salvation.

If you have any questions or concerns, or would like to discuss this further please feel free to speak with any Elder or Pastor Woodman.

Please keep Center Church, the Shenango Presbytery, and the Presbyterian Church USA in your prayers.

-Center Church Session

2 Timothy 4

¹ In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: ² Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. ³ For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. ⁴ They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. ⁵ But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

⁶ For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. ⁷ I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸ Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

Recommended Additional Resources:

Presbyterians For Renewal

http://www.pfrenewal.org/

Shenango Presbytery

http://www.shenango.org/
(specifically look for the button labeled "Special Committee to Monitor Denominational Issues")

My Presidential Platform

2011-06-28T12:39:00.000-07:00

I recently celebrated my 35th birthday. This is a milestone. While 16, 18, and 21 were probably larger markers of usable life moments; I am now eligible to be a US senator or President.

Please hold your applause until the end.

I feel it is now time to announce my presidential platform. I have thoroughly pondered this for 2 minutes and will stand by the following.

1. Restore the arts.
Whining into a microphone is not art. Throwing up on canvas is not art. Randomly throwing paint on a canvas is not art. I will deport Justin Bieber and incarcerate Lady Gaga. I'm pretty sure they are both guilty of crimes against music. If my 7 year old can do it, it isn't art that a 25 year old should be paid for.

2, People have the right to be stupid.
No matter how many seatbelt rules, fines & laws you make people will still ride unbuckled. The soon coming pictures of black lungs on cigarettes will not make suddenly make people realize smoking is bad - they already knew it. They don't care, they will still smoke. Sometimes I want to eat the french-fries covered in cheese and bacon; leave me alone. The stupidity of the individual will always exceed the laws of the clever ruler until the day when the laws get stupid and criminals get clever.

3. Your stupidity is not automatically someone else's problem.
If someone helps you they are kind and gracious and loving; you are not entitled to them helping you, paying you, or giving you something. Say thank you.

4. Companies being stupid should have consequences.
Being too big to fail probably means you are too big to bail out. Capitalism doesn't fail when there are too many capitalists, but too few. GKC-ish. If stupidity is going to wreck people to the level that they crash, companies have to feel consequences too. CEO bonuses for bankrupting a company is wrong.

5. The Earth is bigger than you.
To think that driving a Prius is going to save the environment and a Suburban will kill it is ridiculous. If it saves you money and fits your life - fine. I haven't seen a prius hauling a camper yet though; and if it ever hits the fan and society is crazy for a few months; I'll be hanging with the camper crowd rather than the city greenies. A volcanic burp has more impact than 100 of your cars will over 100 years. If you want to re-use grocery bags, good for you. In general, clean up after yourself.

6. Let your kids be kids.
5 year olds in beauty pageants is crazy. Kids should play in the dirt, pick up worms, and fly kites. Don't over schedule them in music, dance, acting, singing, hockey, basketball, baseball, gymnastics, soccer, football and lacrosse. An 8 y/o doing 3hrs of homework every day is excessive.

7. Raise your kids to get out and be grownups.
Your kids should get educated and get out of your house. Turn off the TV sometimes and read a book. TV is okay, but it is awesome to turn off. Turn off the video games and go outside. Play some games. Let kids learn how to play, argue, work through, and settle disputes so they aren't a bunch of whiny slackers who can't talk to people. Life isn't always easy. If you don't like what's for dinner now, you probably won't like it as breakfast tomorrow either. A 16 y/o doing 1hr of homework a day isn't too much to ask. Work, the reward of a paycheck, and a job well done are good things.

I humbly present these as planks in my platform. My policy decisions will be guided by these principles.

Thank you.

Father's Day

2011-06-18T17:45:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post. I like Father's Day. Not because it is a day focussed on me; but because it gives me a refreshing reminder that I have a heavenly father. I will screw up as a person and as a father. I'm glad there is heavenly father who will truly never let us down. Plus I can shamelessly plug Andrew Peterson with a great song and a great video.

An Unexpected Dinner Guest

2011-06-09T10:29:00.000-07:00

Every year the local collection of the United Methodist Church congregations meets at GC College. We get an annual visit from our former pastor, Gary Bailey. I don't want to call him our old pastor although he is showing some gray, I'd rather call him an old friend.

At our former house (now 5 years ago) we drove past about 5 churches, out of town and past another 2 churches to attend Brush Run UMC. "The friendly church by the side of the road". Every sunday they have a stand and greet time. From what I've seen at most churches these are a time to stand spin 360-degrees and shake hands with anyone your arm can reach. You may also be permitted 2 steps. At Brush Run this is more of a sport. Nearly everyone leaves their pews and crowds the aisles with hugs, conversation, and laughter. If goes generally 5-15 minutes; if not halted it would go all day.

Our first sunday there we met probably all of the 80ish ppl in attendance and most of them knew our names when we returned next week. I think it was our second sunday attending that we were invited to the hot dog shop for breakfast. We quickly made friends in the church. You couldn't help it. Brush Run is also unique in that your friendships are not limited to your age range, or career or role within the church. It is a sticky friendship like family. You find yourself talking to these folks and liking them.

So last night was the Annual Conference which had allowed us for the almost surprise visit from Gary. At Brush Run our family immediately connected with the Bailey family. There was nearly some age overlap but there was more a love of games, laughter, and learning that bound our families.

Coming out of such a comfortable and welcoming spiritual family made adjusting to churches in GC tough. Unfortunately not all are welcoming. GC is a town with deep roots and it makes it hard for implants to find soil. Some were programmed to welcome (delegated greeters) which always comes across as insincere; and it is. Some were cold since people were fairly occupied within their own circles. I cannot blame them, I can just feel left out. It took some time for us to lower our expectations and we settled where we had some friends through a play group with other kids & mothers.

Last night was our annual dinner. It was good to catch up, reflect back and remember that there are somethings that the current denominational battles over litigation and polity will not tarnish. That every church is local. In some way, a very real and significant way, the parts are greater than the whole.

In our friends the richness of life is proved to us by what we have gained; in the faces in the street the richness of life is proved to us by the hint of what we have lost. And this feeling for strange faces and strange lives, when it is felt keenly by a young man, almost always expresses itself in a desire after a kind of vagabond beneficence, a desire to go through the world scattering goodness like a capricious god. It is desired that mankind should hunt in vain for its best friend as it would hunt for a criminal; that he should be an anonymous Saviour, an unrecorded Christ. -GK Chesterton

A Bummer of a day

2011-06-08T13:23:00.000-07:00

I've been a bummer to my family lately. I'm not sure it will change today. (This blog is a downer today, stop reading if you're looking for a ray of sunshine. Read one of my other posts for the regularly sunny with a hint of sarcasm disposition)

The borough dropped the ball on the disc golf course which had me fuming for about a week. As long as I don't start pondering it I am fairly calm about it now. The past 2 days I've been slightly back to being plugged back in. Not that I was sulking, I was just pretty oblivious to the rest of life. And I'm sure it will all work out; not a life changing moment just VERY frustrating. I was overdue to enjoy my kids again.

Today there was an article in my hometown paper that has stirred me on a deeper level. My brother is nearly 3 years older than me but was only 2 years ahead in school. For a time he dated a girl who was the school year in between us. She always had a mindset of it being forever and talked more than most about the future & how rosy it would all be; the two of them forever.

Well they split and re-dated and then split for good as many highschool romances go. Somehow in there I became decent friends with her. She never let the candle die out for my brother. At occasional run-ins she still would get a look when talking about how people were doing and how my brother was doing. Creepy in a stalker way.

She went through many life changes and seemed to have pulled together some sense of faith and family. Married and had 2 boys. Then an article hits the paper about that she drowned the two boys in the bathtub. Tragic. That was about 6 years ago. She went to court and was found to be not-guilty due to insanity. She was hearing voices telling her strange things. Then a very short-time later a judge determined there was no precedent to keep her & they released her.

The article today was that they found her body in a crashed van in a canyon in Arizona. Tragic again. She had many demons. They haunted her & tricked her into thinking that this world was too dangerous for her kids. I'm guessing that the worst thing that could be done was to turn her away from treatment into a world where she was already tagged and known. I'm guessing she heard voices, real and in her head. It would be tough to get a job or make friends with that kind of history. I had not seen her for about 10 years but today I am sad for her and her family.

I hate this fallen sinful world where kids die. Whether it be cancer, car accidents or mental illness. I'm sad that the repercussions couldn't have stopped. I'm sad that a very confused and lonely girl saw no way out.

You can't fight city hall - It's tough to work with them too

2011-06-02T10:57:00.000-07:00

If you didn't know, I'm working with 2 other folks to get a disc golf course in the park in Grove City. This has been a rough ride for me. When I'm ready to get frustrated and give up, things move (eventually). When I feel like things are finally happening, we hit some snag. We seemed to have the greenlight and were waiting for the installation only to find out we had been in a snag for 6 weeks.

It has been nearly 2 years since the original proposal. We had nearly a year of fund raising to secure sponsors for 9 holes. Thank you to any and all sponsors.

You'd think that we could get 9 installed and start playing. I'm mad right now because we've been working to get this installed and have hit MANY snags. All with the borough council, and 90% of those are because they will not call us. None of us are hiding. We all have e-mail, phones and have readily given that information. We've even seen them in the interim and they won't mention "oh by the way did you know we have you on hold". Mad may not even be the word for it. I truly thought the fundraising would be the hardest part of this whole process.
NOPE.
The trouble right now getting any straight information out of the borough council. We've had people tell us one thing in person and read where it is a different case before the council. We were approved and are now un-approved.

The more I dig into the borough council minutes I see where we have answered every problem and are now still waiting because they were supposed to get back to us and did not.

I'm hopeful (no longer "sure" of any of this) that this can be worked out and we can have a course installed sometime; maybe this year. We are going to miss having anything in place for the major town festival (Strawberry Days June 9-11) which would have been a great introduction for the community. The whole town will be there walking around the course. Allowing us to put our sign in place would have been great. We sit. We wait.

On June 20th I will go before the Borough Council another time. We will field questions and ask if we can install the 1/2 course and bring an end to this error filled chapter. They will say "yes" without an official motion because it was approved before. Which technically means we should have been able to install it before except we couldn't because there were concerns they never asked us about. Clear?

All of this has made me hate politics even more. My frustration with the national level game has sunk down to hit the small town too. The course is being held up on accusations of closed door hidden meetings and having no authority, and delayed on needing every tiny detail approved by a committee of people who don't care.
"A camel is a racehorse designed by a committee"

We were approved pending a walk around with the people who had specific concerns. We had the walk around and they were pleased at the time. Then they tell the council they weren't. After the walk around we started taking the steps for the full installation assuming they meant we could go ahead when they said "that looks great". Now the whole council is reviewing everything again. We sit. We wait.

"I'm drowning in a sea of despair and monkeys dressed as lifeguards are throwing me anchors." - Dilbert

Tis the Season

2011-05-26T12:57:00.000-07:00

Last year I played softball with our church team.

It was a great time. Mostly. I hadn't swung a bat since little league and it took a little adjustment but soon I was into it. Really into it. I was the lead-off batter. My job was to get on base, steal second; steal third if they lost a pitch and stroll into home when the opportunity came. I managed to steal home once. Reading a softball is much faster than reading a frisbee but I was soon able to cover my fair share of the outfield.

The problems. Ego, Pride & Competition. Some people get very involved in the game and take it very personal when things aren't going right, or are less than gracious when things are going right. The league had its share of hot-heads. Our team had a few as well.

There was one game during the regular season where things got heated. Reminds me of a song - Church League Softball Fistfight by Tim Wilson. Not a fist fight, not even pushing; but too much battling for a CHURCH league softball team with adults.

Then there was the playoffs. We were in the B-division which was appropriate and through some fancy math of runs scored vs. given up we edged our way into the B-division finals. This put us against a very chippy team that just beat the game before. It isn't that the team was chippy, one player was mouthy and chippy. Henceforth - Mr. Chippy.

We had a few players return since the first game and it really changed our whole team dynamic. We were a better team this time.  We played a very clean game and churned our way to a comfortable lead late in the game. Mr. Chippy ended up grumpy and on second base. He had a nice swaggerin' way of leading off after pitch (allowed) and slowly strolling back if our shortstop or 2nd-baseman was not covering the bag. Slowly strolling to the point of delaying the game. We get it, you're a superstar who can toy with us and pretend like your creaky old bones will carry you to third. If we covered the bag he was back in plenty of time to not get caught.

Well I was in deep left center and told the right-center to go stand on the 2nd after the pitch. Mr. Chippy did his usual and our guy scooted onto 2nd unseen by him. Our catcher did his job with a nice toss back to second for the easiest and most pleasant out of the game.  Mr. Chippy was out due to his own swaggerin' arrogance. Justice was served. Mr. Chippy turns to our thirdbaseman and goes off with insults worthy of a middle school bully. Our guy on 3rd was our potential powederkeg who had behaved the whole game. Somehow the tempers got diffused and everyone went away.

I did enjoy that season. I look forward to this season and the fellowship that can happen. We may need to work through some ugly games but bring on the good ones. It really is great fellowship.

I few lessons (ponderances) that I've gleaned from church softball:
1. Why does it feel so good when Mr. Chippy gets his come-uppance? -or- When the guy in the HOV lane is pulled over driving by himself? (that used to make me smile when I drove into Pittsburgh)
2. Why can every church in town pull together that much for a sports league?  Yes it has great fellowship (between teams as well) but little to nothing for service and outreach?
3. Why can't we pull together this much for other things (worship, concerts, events)?
4. Why are polyester pants so stinkin' hot?

Another concert - W&A and EP

2011-05-20T09:06:00.000-07:00

We had our best concert so far - (a small clip)

W&A with Eric Peters from James Witmer on Vimeo.

My church has continued to be an enabler to me and supported another concert. There are a handfull of artists that I enjoy greatly and would love to have play in my living room for us and a few friends. I'd invite more than my house can hold so the church works very well. I generally spring this idea on our church and they say run with it.

So this is attempt #3 at a concert at our church. We had Phredd play in Novemeber '10, Randall Goodgame in February '11 and now Eric Peters this past week (May '11).

Concerts are an emotional roller coaster.
Stage 1 - Nervous through the first interactions and getting everyone on board.
Stage 2 - Joy once everything has a greenlight and you can go full bore into planning.
Stage 3 - Frustrated at the lack of anyone else reflecting your enthusiasm as it gets announced, posters get hung, other venues are sought to fill the weekend for the artist.

C'mon Grove City College! Independent musicians should be bread & butter stuff for college kids. I'm trying to give food to starving folks and you're not sure if you can setup a buffet with an outsider. "Me thinks thou doest protect too much."
(there I feel better)

Stage 4 - The Day. Now the real ride begins. The artist(s) show up, go through soundcheck and wait as ppl trickle in. We struggle with attendance. There were 55 in attendance so it is getting better, but still a struggle. Every bit of this keeps me edgy.

Stage 5 - The Show. Will the sound come through okay? will everyone have a good time? About 4 songs in I've been able to relax and enjoy.

Something helped this time.

I rejoice that James Witmer came along part way through this process; Stage 3 to be exact. He had so much energy and it was great to have a partner in battle. We bounced ideas back and forth seeking to get the best concert out there for as many people as we could.

Also Stage 4 and 5 would leave me crying in a corner if not for support from my wife and our great church. As I scramble to check the food, water, kids, tables, etc - it is already doing it or has it done. I have no experience behind a soundboard so Mark "the evening" Hughes is the man who makes the buttons go to the right place to keep it all sounding good.

James and Vince Anastasi helped HUGE with a 3-song opener. Double blessing here. First, it was great music. Second, they brought there own crowd to the show. If any future shows happen (Gully, AP a guy can dream) I will certainly seek them out to do it again. I want to hear more of their stuff, I want them to have an audience for their music.

They were followed by EP. Eric Peters is a unique singer. He is influenced by some good classic music (Mammas & Pappas, Turtles, Simon and Garfunkel) and some 80's rock for a very nice sound. The sound is tricky in that you don't realize how deep he is being with the writing. I find myself enjoying the song immediately and 4-5 listens through I understand what it's about and sometime later (10-15) I get slammed by the beauty of what I'm hearing.

The concert was fun. It was a great time at the show; and a great night hanging out as nearly middle aged men, as dads, and as Christians wrestling to be of use in our vocations/locations.

He can write too - A review of "The Monster in the Hollows" by Andrew Peterson

2011-05-19T11:23:00.000-07:00

"I'd rather be sick for a week than read a book." - Anthony Tongin

I can relate to that sentiment; and had I been clever enough for the comparison it would have well described my childhood through college reading; instead I lifted a quote from a college Bible study some years ago. Currently I can't find enough time to finish off my stack of "to be reads".

I had a work trip to Canada which gave me a nice chunk of time to read a book that showed up at my doorstep - The Monster in the Hollows by Andrew Peterson. Available via the Rabbitroom.

This is book three of the Wingfeather Saga. It is aimed more towards the 10-14 y/o market but they'd have to rip it from my cold dead hands.

No secret that I am a fan of Andrew Peterson music going on 13 years now. When he wrote the first book (On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness) I was sceptical. I didn't want my favorite singer to be tarnished by a lousy book. My fears were for nothing. The story was funny, great twists, and just a roller coaster that I never wanted to exit.

I also greatly enjoyed the created world. I place this firmly between "Chronicles of Narnia" and LOTR. It has the imagination and detail of LOTR without being heavy or overwhelming. It doesn't come off as convenient as Narnia sometimes felt to me. Then add two scoops of humor and you're in for a good time.

Then second book (North or Be Eaten) was another roller coaster that was very enjoyable. Picks you up just after catching your breath from the first ride.

Onto the latest installment - The Monster in the Hollows. Basically it was the easiest 300+ pages I've ever read. Even on 4hrs of sleep and stuck in a tin can at 30,000ft for 2 hours, then 3 hours; I was reading rather than sleeping. I tried reading 1-2 chapters and then putting it down. Didn't work. This thing was as addictive as yummy popcorn.

I was expecting a good book (well written, tight) and it did not disappoint. What I was not expecting were the continual plot twists. I had one of them pegged but the others were just stunning. And they just kept getting shot at you. I kept thinking "okay, there can't possibly be anything else to toss out there" and then like a never-ending quiver of arrows +3 out comes another shot that strikes its target.

I think the story has matured with each installment and the emotional battle of the characters are compelling. I felt wrapped in the anguish and joy of each of the Wingfeather children. I was hooked in the story, not just reading it.

The story seems written to be read out loud. Most chapters wrap up leave you hanging for one more sentence. I can imagine my brood yelling for me to read another chapter, then another. I know the feeling of tension. It'll probably be another year until the next book.

So if you can't tell. I liked it. I think it is best as a third installment (i.e. read the other two first). But there is plenty of background where I didn't need to brush up and it is probably sufficient that the story carries on its own.

Also these would make wonderful cinema. Now, who could do a soundtrack for such a movie series?

Nastalgia ain't what it used to be

2011-05-10T07:55:00.000-07:00

The public does not like bad literature. The public likes a certain kind of literature, and likes that kind even when it is bad better than another kind of literature when it is good. Nor is this unreasonable; for the line between different types of literature is as real as the line between tears and laughter; and to tell people who can only get bad comedy that you have some first-class tragedy is as irrational as to offer a man who is shivering over weak, warm coffee a really superior sort of ice. -GK Chesterton.

I caught the last 5 minutes of Batman Returns yesterday. The second of the Micheal Keaton Batman films. I remember liking it at the time and now (especially after the latest comic book films) - WOW it was terrible. I was expecting the dudes from MST3K to show up. Then it would have been tolerable. There was a thirst for comic-book films and it was filled with bad attempts. I'm glad things have improved (mostly - I'm ignoring Fantastic Four part II even existed).

A Story On "On Fairy Stories"

2011-04-26T10:52:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend I finally finished "On Fairy Stories" by JRR Tolkien. It's a nice essay (27ish pages) that took longer than I anticipated to read. But that set up some awesome timing for the finish.

A fancy little review here:
http://www.tolkien-online.com/on-fairy-stories.html

Interesting as it is written prior to LOTR, and Tolkien clearly has principled views of what a fairy-story is and how useful it is.

And in other news: (a not unrelated anecdote)

On Saturday I was able to jaunt to the local (non-chain) Christian book story. I was searching for a book that could probably be found/bought faster & cheaper through cbd.com or amazon or the big chain down the road; but there is something very nice about local shops. I am a fan of mom and pop shops and local ownership. I am a patron.

So Becky says "grab a book for me if you see one" and I agreed with the sentiment. I like bargain sections and would certainly have her in mind rather than my wild taste. The "bargain" section was packed with uninteresting stuff so I turned to the non-bargain remainder of the store. There are a few "specials" intermingled so it isn't a bad option for a deal.

According to the bookstore divisions, Becky's general preference falls into contemporary fiction or historical fiction. Becky and I do cross over in a genre described more as a fantasy fiction or "fairy story". Prior to the essay I wouldn't have labeled it as that, but that's what it is.

I was greatly troubled in looking for a book that I might be also interested in opening after Becky was done. It the realm we overlap in, it was classified as teen or children's fiction. Huh? Why? Granted, I have no problems with the label, but is there no adult fiction that approaches these elements?

I know the bookstore has to sell what sells. It was just frustrating that I don't like what they're selling. I felt like a vegetarian at a pig roast.

A day later I finished the Tolkein essay which really plunged into this being a terrible trend of limiting fairy stories to nursery rhymes. It's not that we stop enjoying them, it is that we stop telling them. A huge point to me was the value to a person of escape. And the value of a story using eucatastrophe (an unexpected wreck for good).

It was an incredibly thoughtful essay. The concept of Escape has me pondering still. But for now I'll sit in my cubicle (a prison without bars) and stare outside at the rolling clouds.

A few food pointers

2011-04-15T10:14:00.000-07:00

I hide food from my kids. I have some certain delectable snacks that I am fully greedy about and don't want to share. My reason for not sharing is simply that they will eat them all. I know they're good, they know it tastes good; so the game begins. It is not a game I plan to lose. So over the years I've developed a few tricks to keep the precious spoils away from the precocious spoilers (maybe spoil-ees is more fitting).

1. Fainting Goats.
The fainting goats are thought to have been kept around to protect the remainder of the herd by getting eaten first. They get excited, pass out and are wolf chow. I love kettle cooked chips. I've learned kids just love chips; give them the cheap-o ripple chips and reserve the kettle chips for yourself. Ice cream. We have a big tub of generic fudge ripple for the kids and buried in back are the chocolate pb ripple for me and the chocolate chip cookie dough for Becky. Fainting goats.

2. Delay.
My family loves popcorn. My kids devour popcorn like a poorly tuned Sherman eating gas. I probably make popcorn 3-5 times a week. The kids probably get 1x a week. Generally about 10 minutes after bedtime I make popcorn. Not the crappy microwave stuff either; I'm talking stove top with some natural flavor and complementing salt. I just don't want to share it with those vultures who finish the bowl before I set it down and then start yipping about more butter on the next batch.

3. Privacy.
Other than after bedtime I've gotten fairly good at sneaking in munchies in the space beside the fridge. Lean over the counter and read a paper or a small ad. This provides a natural positioning where subtle movements can occur without alerting the tribe of minis that snacks are being enjoyed. If you can manage to sneak the guilt inducing snacks into the bathroom that works also. The door locks; privacy is almost understood; and you can manage a moment of bliss.

4. "These aren't the droids you're looking for".
As my kids are getting better at scouring cabinets for assets they are spotting the tasty snacks and asking for them. To avoid the traps of "what cookies? you wouldn't like them?" and "they're for later" (which induces pestering) I recommend hiding the food. Higher shelves used to work but step stools and ninja climbing are making that tougher. A padlock just interferes with the privacy pointer as the guards will see the cabinet open. I've recently found that Quaker Oats are generally considered foul and will never be toyed with. It's like kryptonite. Therefore the canister can be utilized as an excellent treasure chest of tasty tidbits.

5. Snack early, snack often.
Generally being the first one up and making the coffee can give me a key headstart to the snacking day. These need to be fairly handy pop in your mouth snacks for the most effective use. You can get 4-5 good rounds in before the natives are up and moving.

Just passing along some wisdom from the years. Stay snacking.

Love is not blind, it is bound.

2011-04-14T10:17:00.000-07:00

Marriage is a duel to the death that no man should decline. -GKC

There the obligatory quote is out of the way, twice (the title is from Orthodoxy).

I ran across a statement the other day by a wise person (not GKC) who said "marriage is choosing to die slowly for another." Hmm. Especially thoughtful when rolling in the church as the bride of Christ and him dying for the church.

Yes; a noble act of taking the proverbial bullet for your wife is fairly easy to envision and say "yup, I would." But the tougher task is choosing to die daily. Being bound. Searching each day for ways to serve your marriage. Choosing "us" more than "me". For marriage to be a lifetime commitment it also needs to be a daily commitment.

At various points in life and self evaluation you reach epiphany moments. Realizing where you have been wrong in thoughts, actions, or words and have a new outlook. Not always 180-degree u-turns, sometimes just 1-degree adjustments. I don't have a defined moment on all of this, but reading that thought wisdom was certainly a marker to me of how I used to be.

I do lots of stuff. I like doing stuff and I'm generally pretty good at it. I like being involved. But every time I choose to say "yes" to stuff, I'm saying "no" to my wife. Especially when I pick the "me" stuff. I've been doing too much stuff for too long at the cost of neglecting my wife who will be with me when all the stuff is faded away to memories and creaky joints.

It was also convicting to watch Kevin Leman in an awful 90's red sweater saying don't overbook your kids. They need to belong in the family more than in every sports/music/drama/church thing. While pretty good at not overbooking the kids, I do overbook myself.

Just something to start nudging the other way.

Tempting, but no.

2011-04-12T10:33:00.000-07:00

Twice in the past week I ran into what was, for me, a new teaching/thinking on temptation. I've never thought too much on temptation so no surprise to hit something new; but coming up twice? C'mon.

I think my naive view has been "flee from it" or "lead us not into". Mostly, dwelling on it is like dwelling on sin; I know, I suck; I get it. Temptation has power because the immediate returns seem so pleasant. A daily struggle that I wish wasn't.
James 1:14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.

(1 Tim 1:15) Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.

In the morning devotional with my Becky, we hit Oswald Chambers saying you can be tempted in two ways (he referenced James). Satan outright tempting you with something new, and you being tempted by your past. This hit with a sense of an external and internal view; maybe more of a future/past facet. Interesting.

Then a sermon from Father Thomas Mackenzie out of Nashville was focusing on Jesus in the wilderness being tempted by things that are not outright evil. How is making bread, a bad thing? Jesus later turns water into wine, more bread from small bread; how is stones into bread an evil temptation?

The temptation wasn't really the bread, it was to reclaim power. It was temptation to ignore the plan of the Father.
Hebrews 2:18
Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

I think Oswald set me up to really hear T-Mac. Mostly that we are not alone in our temptation trying to struggle it out, gut it out, strength it out.... Go further though. It's not that Jesus wants to fight by our side, he wants to fight for us; and he has already won the victory.

Just a quick deep thought. Back to grindstone.

Take me away - A review of Bluebird by Randall Goodgame

2011-03-31T10:43:00.000-07:00

So my church (with minor arm twisting from me) hosted a Randall Goodgame (hereafter RG) concert back in February.

See clip here:

A brief history. I'm not sure I was aware of RG before receiving Slugs, Bugs, & Lullabies as a gift. I might have been. I was blown away by the album. Laughing at "The Boy who was Bored" and weeping at "Beautiful Girl" for about the first 20x listening to it. I can usually make it thru now.

So, being touched by the album I bought the RG album Hymnal. I didn't care for it. I listened a few times and gave it to a friend. My recollected thoughts on it was that it was okay, but didn't get me hooked & I probably wouldn't buy another RG album.

Years and a few kids later the family ends up at a SB&L show and we bought War & Peace. Good album; very good.

Then our church put on the SB&L Christmas program with some help from RG, and part of the whole arrangement was a concert in February as he was in the area. The concert pushed me from "his music is okay" to "he's one of the best" in my view of RG music. We bought one of the last copies of Bluebird that will have a proper case. Although I'm sure if 1000 orders were to be placed he would find a way to produce more. And honestly it is that good of an album it should be out there more.

And now my quick review of his album/ep "Bluebird". Yeah, it came out in 2008 and I'm a few years behind.

I can't get enough of this album. Many listens have passed my ears and I still seek it out. It does for me everything music is meant to do - it draws out emotion. When listening to a song I tend to focus first on vocal/lyrics. It is what I want to pay attention to and generally if I hear the support (the wall of sound other than the primary vocals) early it is because it is too strong, or doesn't match. If they blend well I don't notice the support for quite some time. I am blown away at every listening for the full songs that are present.

The songs:
Bluebird
All the Years
Heaven Waits
Reverie
California
Jubilee

The song that currently rattles my bones the most is "All the Years" (lyric portion is my current best guess from listening):
I've grown tired of all the years. I can feel my bones grinding down. I used to cave to all my fears; but I've grown tired of all the years. I have sung a thousand single songs, for all the world to sit and hear. Candle wax has frozen up the keys that go right here. And I have grown tired of all the years.

Take me away, take me away my love; can you find me a road I've never known. Take me away, take me away my love; I'm tired can you just take me home.

Something about that hits me like "Calgon, take me away". The song elicits a feeling of being tired and ready for rest. A call out for the day when we will hear "well done, good and faithful servant." It builds to such a great apex of the calling out and ends with a content sigh.

It is such a wall of sound that is powerful and adds the to the power and feeling of RG's voice. Great song. Other songs are great as well, but this one is just the best to me.

"Nothing new under the sun" so write about the sun.

2011-03-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

There is no clearer sign of the absence of originality among modern poets than their dispostion to find new topics. Really original poets write poems about the spring. They are always fresh, just as the spring is always fresh. Men wholly without originality write poems about torture, or new religions or some perversion of obscenity, hoping that the mere sting of the subject may speak for them. But we do not sufficiently realize that what is true of the classic ode is also true of the classic joke. A true poet writes about the spring being beautiful because (after a thousand springs) the spring really is beautiful. In the same way the true humorist writes about a man sitting down on his hat because the act of sitting down on one's own hat (however often and admirably performed) really is extremely funny. We must not dismiss a new poet because his poem is called 'To a Skylark'; nor must we dismiss a humorist because his new farce is called 'My Mother-in-Law.' He may really have splendid and inspiring things to say upon an eternal problem. The whole question is whether he has. GK Chesterton - Introduction to 'Sketches by Boz.'

Still waters run deep; and diving into shallow discussions.

2011-03-24T12:46:00.000-07:00

If you weren't aware Rob Bell has released a new book (Love Wins) and of course there's controversy because that's what he does, that's what sells books, and that's the only reason he is relevant. I've seen a few of his Nooma videos and haven't read a single of his book. Really not interested. Just too trendy & not my style. It grabs me more as steps to sell controversy rather than appeal to an honest discussion.

Reminds me of this:
Trendy Church
There's a Veridian Dynamics feel to it.

Bell is accused of being a universalist. And he accuses most of the rest of the church of being heartless and sticking too much to the set number of saved Christian souls.

I'm bothered by both views (I'm not getting into disputing Bell, shop around; that is adeptly argued many places). They are both trapped on the same point - a determinist view of eternity.

One side sees all as being saved forever, the other sees a locked Heaven. I really think both are demotivational for ministry work. The end of that thought process is: Give people long enough and they will be won over by God, or they don't need anytime God has it resolved.

There are basic questions that I think resolve much of this. Or at least clarify what is being debated.
Question 1: Is there a Hell?
Question 2: Who ends up in Hell?
There is debate (none of which is new) on who might be condemned - deathbed believers? Gandhi? Hitler? those who've never heard? Suicide? Mormons? Jews? Muslims? Catholics? Baptists? Salesmen?

If you are confident on having all of the answers and every minutia worked out - good for you. Carsalesmen still have me boggled. I think there is plenty of room where God's ways are above & beyond me and I'm okay with that. I just have to plow the field in front of me. Jesus, God's son, died on the cross for my sins. You too? Welcome to the family.

I'm mostly struck how much all of this reminds me of the creation discussion. Materialists are stuck needing to explain every step of every critter and allow no gaps. Possibly with the caveat that the gaps are To Be Determined. A comprehensive theory from soupy, slimy crystals to mankind. One of their basic premises for geo-age is that the explanation only contains factors that are still present/possible today. The earth is changing at a constant rate. So - Step 1, no miracles. No one time events to describe the biggest one time event.

There is a strong effort to explain everything ("Answers in Genesis" and others) over six days and counter every finding with a literal Bible translation finding. 24hrs means 24hrs. Step 1, no time miracles. These 6 time events to explain the biggest event to start it all.

Once again, I'm bothered by both views. Basically science says "give me long enough & I'll explain it all." And creation-science says I don't need any thing, it is all clear from Genesis 1&2.
First question: Are there miracles?
Miracle (as I'm using it) - Things that defy scientific explanation. OR God intervening and occurrences outside the normal natural behavior. Do miracles happen (or have they happened)? Defying scientific explanation. They cannot be tested or repeated. God enters into his world and moves.

If this answer is "No". Congrats! You're a materialist and go forth never letting one sliver of things lie beyond explanation with natural laws. Continue to explain the joy of a puppy with endorphins and smell of the first spring day with pheromones.

Question 2: Is Genesis to explain how the miracle worked OR why the miracle was worked?

Whether it takes 6days or 60million years it is no less a miracle. Then to jump thru just as many hoops to explain 6000years as the other side does to fill all of the gaps seems like saying all of your tools are flawed and your house is unsafe but let me pick them up and build my own house with them.

I think I give up on these discussion because both "debates" (hell & earth) center on arguing "how" rather than "why". There is a way to get stuck on spiritual mechanics and determinism and to be stuck fighting them. Some one (or group) starts explaining the "how" and the other side starts fighting back (Bell against "classical orthodoxy", or Ken Hamm against Dawkins). One side only stuck on explaining "how?" seems to draw out a response which is more passion than substance for the discussion. Not that a discussion can't happen but realize what is on the table for a carving discussion.

The gauntlet of "how things work" shouldn't be picked up for the sake of fighting. I think as Christians we are free to go as far down the explanation road as we can, but realize the road is longer than our legs can carry. Dawkins can be screaming "okay then, you explain it" and my simple answer is it's magic. God does it how he wants. Rob Bell may ask where is "the love for Ghandi? he must be in heaven" and the answer is still - it is magic. God does it how he wants.

Knowing the final answer (more trusting the author) I can look at some of the "how" and marvel at the craftsmanship that pours through. Wonder at the beauty (material and spiritual) that is just overwhelming. I curiously pursue more out of it being a way of knowing God more & enjoying him forever.

I will not quote GK Chesterton

2011-03-22T13:38:00.000-07:00

I read an article last week that quoted GKC from Orthodoxy which roughly refered to God tempting God and the statement (from the article referring to atheists) "They will find only one divinity who ever uttered their isolation; only one religion in which God seemed for an instant to be an atheist."

Some one took issue (it's the internet so make any statement and someone will disagree.) with this. The "disagree" contention was that Jesus was using the statement as a reference to Psalm 22 and didn't mean he was forsaken. They continued that every Jew in the crowd would have immediately known it was a reference to Psalm 22 and felt sad.

I was just thinking this arguer worked very hard to not prove a point.

Either he was forsaken (abandoned) by God the Father, or he was not forsaken but surely felt like it. Go ahead and argue Jesus was not entirely cutoff but just spiritually cutoff. I'm not sure where the difference lies.

To me there is something chilling (and proper) that Jesus brings his greatest emotional anguish, his doubt, to the Father. Not from a position of confidence & challenging (Job); but from a position of a servant (Your will, not mine). A servant unto death.

"David, he chased God's own heart. All I ever seem to chase is me." -Andrew Peterson, The Chasing Song.

Ah, those wacky materialists

2011-03-17T07:17:00.000-07:00

The Christian admits that the universe is manifold and even miscellaneous, just as a sane man knows that he is complex. The sane man knows that he has a touch of the beast, a touch of the devil, a touch of the saint, a touch of the citizen. Nay, the really sane man knows that he has a touch of the madman. But the materialist's world is quite simple and solid, just as the madman is quite sure he is sane. The materialist is sure that history has been simply and solely a chain of causation, just as the interesting person before mentioned is quite sure that he is simply and solely a chicken. Materialists and madmen never have doubts. -GKC, Orthodoxy

Yup. More GK Chesterton.

I think I like this anytime I read/hear about some new discover and now we know for sure, "science has proven" this item to be true. All history, geological or human, is "simply and solely a chain of causation". My kid's library book said that the Egyptians believed snakes held the power of life & death. This & the Mayans "believing snakes were god" rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe over stating somethings we just aren't sure about. I'm pretty sure some future scientist will conclude my household worshipped talking vegetables and sang tribal chants to pass along the traditions of my culture. When truly, I just like the song. C'mon it is Burger Bell.

Thorn in my side

2011-03-11T09:43:00.000-08:00

I'm having a day where this song is fitting. Big project due in a few hours so this will be a quick blog. I keep getting interupted by folks that are just frustrating right now. Plus it"s catchy with a great sound.

Regularly I feel this way too, more often that I'd like to admit. The rough part isn't the admitting; it's the feeling. It is generally out of arrogance or paying attention to petty things where the seeds of people pissing me off arrives. Let the grace & love abound more than the personal preferences. God knows I need it.

I first heard Paul Thorn when we adopted It's A Great Day (To Whoop Somebody's Ass) as a work anthem. Paul was once a pro- boxer, so he could do it too. I was looking for the anthem yesterday and kept digging up his other songs.
Turn's out he's a pretty good singer/songwriter too. Honest songs that I'm liking today. Okay, back to work.

Why stories connect (or don't)

2011-03-01T09:52:00.000-08:00

Another dose from the GKC calendar:

Nothing is important except the fate of the soul; and literature is only redeemed from an utter triviality, surpassing that of naughts and crosses, by the fact that it describes not the world around us, or the things on the retina of the eye, or the enormous irrelevancy of encyclopedias, but some condition to which the human spirit can come. - GKC in Introduction to 'The Old Curiosity Shop'

Also said as:
"The story of any one of us is the story of us all." - Frederick Beuchner.

At some point I was dwelling on what makes a story good or bad. For me it comes to - can I relate to anything human about the story?

It's slightly past how believable a story is. There can be wild fantasy elements or entire sci-fi worlds that work for excellent story telling. Does it have that something that makes me want to fight for the character? Do I want the character to win? Am I mad & frustrated when they are?

That's when I'm hooked.

You Want the Ruth - You Can't Handle the Ruth

2011-02-27T12:19:00.000-08:00

At church our pastor is wrapping up a sermon series on Ruth.

Today we hit on Ruth 3 where she is sent by Naomi to wash, perfume & gussy up; then go sleep at Boaz's feet on the threshing floor. Our pastor brought to light a few points on this story:
-Threshing takes time (a few days), owners & workers often slept by the crop to prevent thieves.
-prostitutes were known to make rounds at the threshing floor.

So here we have someone (Ruth) in a situation where prostitutes were common, placing herself at the feet of a potential kinsmen-redeemer (one was closer who later declines from Chapter 4).

My mind drew to the parallel of a prostitute at the feet of Jesus (Luke 7:36-50). A real prostitute at the feet of the Redeemer. Washing his feet with her tears, drying them with her hair; anointing them with perfume.

I guess the parallel just highlights one thing - go to the feet of the redeemer. It's a sole saving exercise.

Laughs - I've had a few.

2011-02-24T07:39:00.000-08:00

"People like frequent laughter," answered Father Brown, "but I don't think they like a permanent smile. Cheerfulness without humour is a very trying thing." -GK Chesterton

(before any actually accuses me of being wise, I have 2 daily e-calenders of Chesterton quotes. I read them about 3x a week and tend to float a few days behind & a few days ahead and cover a few readings. Sometimes they tickle my fancy more than others. Such as now)

I like to laugh. One thing I am trying to pass along to my kids is a sense of fun. Stories. Silliness. That somethings are funny because they fall outside of what is expected or how things should be.

If you need a kickstart on this - watch Phineas & Ferb with your kids.
Squirrels in My Pants

I liked this GKC quote because there are those people who are always so happy you'd think they fart sunshine. I can't stand those people. Life isn't all roses, but I like to laugh when there is a such a thing as a rose parked ontop of all those thorns.

I've learned (and am still learning) not all jokes need to be said - wrong joke or wrong time. An evaluation of dignity and respect for the situation and people.

Still to me, the greatest and most humorous joke is me. I'm happy when I make it to work with my underwear facing the right direction and not outside my pants. I still laugh that a panda eats, shoots, & leaves. It's funny to me that my 5 y/o tells me jokes that aren't funny and that my 7 y/o tells me ones that are.

It's funny to think there might be a tiny guy living in the fridge who turns the lightswitch on every time the door is opened. Or there was a tiny guy at a drawing table who put a tiny switch in for the door. It's a minor difference and I will be amused by either option.

Clerihew me! Oh no, clerihew you!

2011-02-23T05:31:00.000-08:00

One of my regular blog checks is Jonathan Rogers (http://jonathan-rogers.com/). He does some fun stuff, especially Audience Participation Friday with encouragement to join in. Recently the APF was to suggest future APF topics to which I lagged for quite a while and finally chimed in with Clerihews.

From wiki:
A clerihew is a whimsical, four-line biographical poem invented by Edmund Clerihew Bentley. ..........
A clerihew has the following properties:

It is biographical and usually whimsical, showing the subject from an unusual point of view; it pokes fun at mostly famous people
It has four lines of irregular length (for comic effect); the third and fourth lines are usually longer than the first two
The rhyme structure is AABB; the subject matter and wording are often humorously contrived in order to achieve a rhyme
The first line consists solely (or almost solely) of the subject's name.

Since then I've been stuck on commenting with clerihews about his subject matter.

Not being above a joke myself (especially as a find my life quite humorous and enjoyable and in some sense a joke that I get to be a part of it)

Daniel Kulp
gave up on most written pulp.
Now I listen while doing a drive,
Tis safer than a book going sixty-five.

Feel free to build your own about me, or yourself, or anybody.

Dry Beer Time

2011-02-17T10:13:00.000-08:00

I felt in my bones; first, that this world does not explain itself.... Fourth, that the proper form of thanks to it is some form of humility and restraint; we should thank God for beer and Burgundy by not drinking too much of them. - GK Chesterton

There's a running joke here at work for "10 o'clock dry beer time". Dry beer = pretzels.

Basic Pretzel ingredients (from Auntie Anne's website):
Makes 6 large pretzels

1 teaspoon instant yeast
1 tablespoon malt powder or brown sugar
2-3 cups all-purpose unbleached or bread flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup warm milk (approximately 110 degrees, which is 1 minute in my microwave)

Basic beer ingredients:
water
Barley (a grain malted to brew beer)
Hops
Yeast

There's enough of an overlap it works as a joke. But truly I would buy a pretzel flavored with Guinness or Yuengling. I'm kind of surprised no beer company has tried the snack food realm yet. If any major beer company representative gets e-lost, finds this measly blog & markets it as a product. GREAT!! All I ask is 1 bag as a fee.

A quick search shows me there are some beer pretzel recipes and also makes me hungry. Soon this may be tried at my house.
Beer Pretzel

Optimist or Pessimist test

2011-02-14T11:59:00.000-08:00

Here at work we have a built in optimist/pessimist test.

My company is in an old steel mill building and we have no hot water. It's not bad in the summer but washing hands in the winter is terrible. (I know, "do you want some cheese with that whine?").

After I had been here about a year it was mentioned in passing to the owner & he got a small heater installed right at the sink. It worked great (~ 2 years) until this past winter it just stopped.

So now there is the test -
Do you still turn on the hot water, hoping it will work?
OR
Do you only turn on the cold with no hope of having hot water?

You may be wondering, "don't engineers have better things to do than to apply deep philosophical constructs and challenges to such silly daily things as a non-functional hot water heater on a bathroom?"

Not really.

That's what engineers do. We take the philosophical and the theoretical; and put them to work in our everyday lives.

(yeah, I'm not buying it either. back to work).

Yinz had a Goodgame

2011-02-06T04:17:00.000-08:00

Friday night our church hosted Randall Goodgame for a concert. To say it was an excellent show would be true but still come up short for me. It was also some great conversation and leaves me with much to think about.

Randall is a premier musician, singer & songwriter and flies slightly under the radar. I was hoping for ~100ppl and the nature of how things go it could be anywhere from 50 to 200ppl. We had about 30. We were smacked by a HS basketball game, another church's winter carnival, a HS play; plus the usual ambivalent attitude for friday night events.

There's almost too much to get words to, without going 5 pages. So here is a list of slightly organized thoughts:

I was generally a mild RG fan 4 days ago. Great music, but I like to sing along sometimes and his jazz-ish style makes that tough. Great kid's music. I didn't always "get" the songs. I am now a BIG fan.
Soundcheck went miserably. The church system wouldn't pickup his guitar. Many tries, & some frustration. We ended up putting a mic in front of the guitar and it came thru well. We discussed this over late-night eggs & basically when things get frustrating you may not be trusting God.
I lost my voice the night before the concert. It's almost back, 2 days after the whole thing. Conversation was tough. Jason did an excellent introduction (thanks).
It was very much a house concert (talking back & forth). Ups & downs to that.
It must be tough being on the road for a musician. Randall stayed at our house & we were intentional on he can talk with us, watch TV, play games or hide in his room as he pleased. He's slightly lactose intolerant, so lasagna roll-ups and a cheesy egg casserole for breakfast might have been tough. Some lactaid saved the day.
Also being on the road and shuttled is draining in aspects other than being away from family. It isn't a case of "always under the microscope", but certainly aware that the "camera is on" for a majority of your time.
Randall & I talked much about music, Christian music, his music, kids music. Family. Writing songs for other people. C.S. Lewis. Theology & life. It's hard to say we talked when I didn't say too much.

I still have much to dwell on & since I can't easily talk about it I thought I'd write some randomness.
Right now just a feeling of "I can't believe I was able to be a part of all this."
Thanks, Randall. Thanks, Becky. Thanks, Center Presby Church. Thanks, Hebron Church (for the intro end to the tour and the warm-up adult concert) and Mike & Heather.

My favorite quote - maybe...

2011-02-03T06:42:00.000-08:00

It is always easy to let the age have its head; the difficult think is to keep one's own. It is always easy to be a modernist, as it is easy to be a snob. To have fallen into any of those open traps of error and exaggeration which fashion after fashion and sect after sect set along the historic path of Christendom - that would indeed have been simple. It is always simple to fall; there are an infinity of angles at which one falls; only one at which one stands. To have fallen into any one of the fads from Gnosticism to Christian Science would indeed have been obvious and tame. But to have avoided them all has been one whirling adventure; and in my vision the heavenly chariot flies thundering through the ages, the dull heresies sprawling and prostrate, the wild truth reeling but erect. Orthodoxy - GK Chesterton

This came up on my calendar. It is hard to pick one of my favorite quotes. It is also difficult to point to the epiphany moment when you move from looking at a book to it changing your outlook. This is very close to filling both.

In his writings Chesterton frequently comes back to a few of his worldview points (off the top of my head):
-doubt has a limit. accept that you are alive and don't wonder what if we aren't. "If you want nothing, I can give you nothing."
-Somethings are magic.
-There is a right in the world, and it isn't mankind or man.
-For Christianity to weave thru philosophies, fads, trends, and men leading it and still answer life's questions is miraculous; to the point that fairy tales would have eroded long ago and it must be true.

Why do kids grow up.

2011-01-28T10:32:00.000-08:00

The two facts which attract almost every normal person to children are, first, that they are very serious, and, secondly, that they are in consequence very happy. They are jolly with the completeness which is possible only in the absence of humour. The most unfathomable schools and sages have never attained to the gravity which dwells in the eyes of a baby of three months old.
It is the gravity of astonishment at the universe, and astonishment at the universe is not mysticism, but a transcendent common-sense. - G.K. Chesterton

It is a day that forces the reflection of where the time went. More than your own birthday, your child's birthday marks time passing. After a point I stopped noticing my birthdays. There is no great hoopla. But as kids hit each marker it strikes out. The world is closing in and trying to steal their innocence. They can grow up, but does it have to happen so quickly.

If they lose their amazement at the moon, soon they may stop noticing it shines. I hope she keeps on seeing both, and is never chasing moonshine.

I was trained.

2011-01-20T07:28:00.000-08:00

I remember amusing myself by writing my own answers to the questions; but I soon found that they were very broken and agnostic answers. To the question, "What are you?" I could only answer, "God knows." And to the question, "What is meant by the Fall?" I could answer with complete sincerity, "That whatever I am, I am not myself." This is the prime paradox of our religion; something that we have never in any full sense known, is not only better than ourselves, but even more natural to us than ourselves. -GK Chesterton, Orthodoxy

Becky & I went thru another round of adoption training this past Saturday. Despite how painful it may sound (and some parts are) I'm generally enjoying these sessions. I get a strange kick out of learning new things. One thing from this past session really hung in my ears. The lesson was focusing on natural assumptions that are often encountered and may carry some pain.

ppl say: real mom, real brother
and should say: birth parent, birth siblings
(adoption is real, your adopted parents are real)

ppl say: taken away from their parents
should say: parental rights were terminated
(focus on the loss of rights, not the act of separation)

ppl say: this is Rachel & she's adopted
should say: Rachel WAS adopted (or joined the family) at age 7.
(adoption is an event in life, not a definition of who you are).

It is easy to say this is word-smithing and just being nit-picky. I am sure people generally don't mean harm by saying these type of things, and if they mean harm they shouldn't be around your family. But they are all overheard by the kids and focus on the difference rather than the family. Around very vulnerable kids too.

But the last example caught me; more the explanation. Adoption is an event in life, not a definition.

I had a great awakening at seeing being a redeemed sinner as a definition. I am a sinner everyday and redeemed everyday.
It is not that salvation was a one time event and now you are on your own. "Thanks for the ride Jesus, see you later." Everyday is like Christmas; Christ entering our world, our lives everyday. Some days it is more evident than others. But is a great start to each day to remember what has been done for us.

Do events affect us. Yes. But they define our struggle not our person. They are hammer hits that forge material that makes us; they are not the material that makes us.

Here Lies - Art O. Debate

2011-01-12T13:06:00.000-08:00

"The art of debate has been covered by the graffiti of spin."

Pardon me for dwelling on liking this line. I came up with it and really like it.

(there, I'm done).

This thought hit me as a I was discussing (okay Facebook-ing) the recent Arizona Safeway Massacre with a friend. I respect the person and their opinions dearly.  My friend was linking recent overblown political rhetoric not directly to the tragedy but linking to a climate that allowed the tragedy. I tried to make a counter argument and the debate went downhill. (insert the above line here). In respect to my friend, I know he was short on time and temper for a debate.

Now my friend & I are opposite on many views and this is one of them. I'm starting to see how G.B. Shaw and GK Chesterton might have related. A glimpse of ants compared to the giants that they were, but it still gives me some insight into their relationship.

I remember posting a note on facebook regarding my thoughts on embryonic stem cell research.   It drew a few good comments, some empty agreements; and then some purely thoughtless bashing. Not bashing any of my points, but bashing my faith (there were no faith or Biblical references or arguments) and a politician (no politic arguments were presented). I made an argument in logic and reason regarding the demerits of the policy. I truly wanted to hear where I was wrong in my thinking. If you disagree then make a valid counter point, don't call names.

The Arizona shooter was a nutcase.  Whether a stand alone psycho, a marijuana psychosis, or a loner - a NUTCASE.

I hate political rhetoric. I think there is a fad of political rhetoric. I hope it's a fad and fades as all fads should. Something in this tragedy may draw people back to normal conversation.  A guy can hope. It seems normal conversation and debate has been overwhelmed with spin, useless stats, and shouting. Debate would be presenting a logical (reasonable) argument for a policy or view and discussing it against a counter view.  Debate has been covered by sounbites & spin and is suffocating . The rise of flashy soundbites has dulled us to truly thinking through ideas and consequences. We know underneath there is something worth discussing and figuring out, sometimes passionately. It is just easier to bury the counterargument in meaningless stats and soundbites than to admit our side might be wrong or a better way may exist.

“Compromise used to mean that half a loaf was better than no bread. Among modern statesmen it really seems to mean that half a loaf is better than a whole loaf.” -GK Chesterton

More Theology from a 5 y/o

2011-01-05T13:25:00.000-08:00

At our Christmas Eve service Communion was served. Now, our nearly 7 y/o daughter (Broo) has had communion before this time but none of the other kids. Somehow my 5 y/o son (Cabu) was aware of things moving above his tiny head that was sketching on the bulletin; so he had his chance for taking communion.

Side note - I fell into a Methodist-ic thinking on the issue of kids taking communion. "Kids may not understand what it's all about but they know when they are excluded. Let them participate"

Broo has a knack for playing up her vast superior experience in life matters. She often takes it as her role to educate Cabu and this time was no different. The bread was so "yummy"; and the juice isn't really wine and it tastes good; "some folks say body & blood but it's just bread & juice".

This bothered me on a few levels. First, kids have a warped sense of how loud they are and they were set at 11 for this mid-service pew conversation despite warnings otherwise. Second, I'm getting weary of the over the top experience & bossing from Broo; that's my job and she's getting too good at it. Third, they are talking about communion and it is due some reverence. I finally shut this pew chat down by threatening removal of all gifts and we can discuss this at home.

So the discussion.
With Broo within earshot because she needed to understand it more, I dove into the meaning of the bread and the juice as the body and the blood. It was in remembrance of Jesus and the last supper and some people believe it magically does turn into body & blood. It is a very special thing and should be treated that way. So loud talking or "yummy-ness" conversation is rude & unacceptable. (There, that sounded firm enough). Whether done to remember Jesus or to magically take in Jesus it is special and is not a time to joke around.

Side note #2 - I have no problem telling my kids some things are magic. I want them to believe in magic. If miracles aren't magic then they are science (and therefore not miracles) or lies.

Cabu pondered all of this with puzzled eyes and then said "so we have to take in Jesus' broken body so that ours can be fixed." I think he understood it better than I explained it, and Side Note 1 has been voided.

Side note #3 - I think I have about 2 more years of pretending I know & understand things better than my kids. Not just somethings, anything at all.

A Christmas Poem

2010-12-22T07:06:00.000-08:00

Jonothan Rogers posted a Chesterton Christmas poem which pointed me to this one that I enjoy slightly better.

The Wise Men
By GK Chesterton

Step softly, under snow or rain,
To find the place where men can pray;
The way is all so very plain
That we may lose the way.

Oh, we have learnt to peer and pore
On tortured puzzles from our youth,
We know all the labyrinthine lore,
We are the three wise men of yore,
And we know all things but truth.

We have gone round and round the hill
And lost the wood among the trees,
And learnt long names for every ill,
And serve the made gods, naming still
The furies the Eumenides.

The gods of violence took the veil
Of vision and philosophy,
The Serpent that brought all men bale,
He bites his own accursed tail,
And calls himself Eternity.

Go humbly ... it has hailed and snowed...
With voices low and lanterns lit;
So very simple is the road,
That we may stray from it.

The world grows terrible and white,
And blinding white the breaking day;
We walk bewildered in the light,
For something is too large for sight,
And something much too plain to say.

The Child that was ere worlds begun
(... We need but walk a little way,
We need but see a latch undone...)
The Child that played with moon and sun
Is playing with a little hay.

The house from which the heavens are fed,
The old strange house that is our own,
Where trick of words are never said,
And Mercy is as plain as bread,
And Honour is as hard as stone.

Go humbly, humble are the skies,
And low and large and fierce the Star;
So very near the Manger lies
That we may travel far.

Hark! Laughter like a lion wakes
To roar to the resounding plain.
And the whole heaven shouts and shakes,
For God Himself is born again,
And we are little children walking
Through the snow and rain.

Christmas music - humbug

2010-12-16T10:03:00.000-08:00

I was enjoying a quick dinner with my wife at Taco Bell reflecting on having just put down a pet and the background music was bordering on making my ears bleed. It was Christmas music. The memorable section where the full annoyances settled in had....Joy to the World (some opera-ish lady), Frosty the Snowman, ...and some other standard which is escaping me right now (something about sleigh bells). I felt like I was being tortured.

I'll try to maintain my focus on annoyance with Christmas music and not just style preferences.

I love Christmas...Jesus, birthday, presents, family friends. What's not to love?
I love music; I have a sound style I prefer and love, I enjoy others from there, tolerate a pretty wide swath and there are a few extremes I just avoid.

Somehow Christmas is moving into the "do not enjoy" column.

Right now there are 2 Christmas albums I enjoy - Behold the Lamb of God, and Christmas by Jill Phillips and Andy Gullahorn.

Behold the Lamb of God sets the mark pretty high with a story telling of mostly original songs that each one takes you a step on the Christmas story and the coming of Jesus.

Christmas is just exactly the style I like and they aren't all the same songs I've heard for 34 years. Plus they're good songs, being a new song or a dug-out old song doesn't mean it was good.

It seems like there's a pattern within Christian music. After 3-6 reasonably successful albums a performer must put out a Christmas album. Generally this will have 8-10 standards and possibly 1-3 original songs.

I like Steven Curtis Chapman and I think somewhere I own his Christmas album. I can honestly say I have little interest in hearing him sing the standards. I know the standards, I know he sings well with a good tone. Yawn.

It could be that in prepping for the church Christmas Program I have heard the same album about 40x and I'm saturated. I don't want to hear any more Christmas music. So anything that has the feel of a song I've heard a bunch is feeling like a sliver on the back of the hand when you need 2 hands to take it out.

Uncomfortable, pesky, and there. An irritant you can't get rid of.

Here's the formula I have developed (and I'm working on empirically proving):

operatic/crooner + standard = uncontrolled vomiting
operatic/crooner + any song = terrible
bad sound + standard = tolerable for .04 minutes (2.4 seconds)
good sound + standard = tolerable for 4 minutes
bad sound + non-standard song(s) = tolerable for 4 songs
good sound + non-standard song(s) = tolerable for 4 hours

Basically the two I've enjoyed this season I can listen to in the background for a full day at work. All else is falling off after 4 minutes or 4 songs depending on the radio station.

I may be alone on this and that's okay, it'll all be done in 9 more days. I can just avoid the radio and have myself a merry little Christmas.

Empty Tool Boxes

2010-12-06T11:58:00.000-08:00

We had an adoption training session this past weekend. Something being "mandatory" to me usually inspires my rebellion nature. So despite this training being mandated, I quelled my response and was looking forward to expanding my knowledge. And it certainly did open our eyes.

Unfortunately these trainings often show the dark underbelly of the fallen world. This was no different.

Part of the training was an exercise with laminated cards with a behavior printed on it; and then to place the card into an age group where it might be seen. This was eye opening because all of the behaviours were things that the agency has seen happen and wee not just random ideas. Also shocking was that all of these behaviors can be at any age. Many of these were things I was not ready to consider. Some of the behaviour is out of not attachment to people/things, some were examples of testing disciplining and love limits, some were just examples of not knowing expectations or what is appropriate.

I mostly hung onto that last group of behaviors. Mostly the kids may be missing a sense of what is appropriate. They have been forced to grow up too soon (lost innocence) and not allowed to grow up at all (neglected). A child can be 13 in age, 6 in development of play (never socialized) , and be 25 in responsibility (caring for siblings).

No matter why the kids are in the system they will have had at least one major attachment/bonding point that has been broken. Child psych "attachment" is a sense of permanent or reliable safety and love. If you don't have the tool of understanding (and expecting) proper attachment, you will struggle. For these kids things have little value; if you had any "stuff" it may have been stolen & sold for drugs. A child may have never had the "stuff" to begin with. Most of these kids are just a possession and power ploy for the parents anyway. The kids can develop a sense that all adults are friends and take on adult behaviors (language and activities). Or a sense that they are objects (things) rather than a real person. And then emotionally the kids don't understand a parent for security and love, it becomes tough to know you have a safe falling place.  It is a fallen world. It is wrong if a 4 y/o has no sense of appropriate and believes that playing with adults requires taking clothes off. The fact that ~65% of the kids in the system have some sexual abuse is frightening.

I think one of the major things I picked up is that adoption is starting from scratch and filling the toolbox. Give them love that isn't conditional.  Give them respect. Security. Safety. With some basic tools they can build identity.  They can construct trust and meaningful relationships. Life, love & beauty can grow.

I came out of that training greatly feeling the paradox of life. I don't want to bring this ugliness into my house, near my kids. AND I can't ignore the ugliness of the fallen world, I can't just leave kids sitting in there.   While ugly and scary, it was also convicting that you gotta do something.

On influential people

2010-11-29T08:58:00.000-08:00

"Distribute the dignified people and the capable people and the highly businesslike people among all the situations which their ambition or their innate corruption may demand, but keep close to your heart, keep deep in you inner councils the absurd people; let the clever people pretend to advise you, but let the fools alone influence you; let the laughable people whose faults you see and understand be the only people who are really inside your life, who really come near you or accompany you on your lonely march towards the last impossibility." - Introduction to 'David Copperfield' G.K. Chesterton

I read this and it causes me to think.....man that's a long sentence.

Adoption is battling hopeless causes

2010-11-27T06:02:00.000-08:00

"Youth is pre-eminently the period in which a man can be lyric, fanatical, poetic; but youth is the period in which a man can be hopeless. The end of every episode is the end of the world. But the power of hoping through everything, the knowledge that the soul survives its adventures, that great inspiration come to the middle-aged. God has kept that good wine until now." - 'Charles Dickens' -Chesterton

"In the struggle for existence, it is only on those who hang on for ten minutes after all is hopeless, that hope begins to dawn." GK Chesterton

Kids are hopeless. They have no perspective of their lives existing beyond the current crisis. They lack the view of their soul being tried, broken, and coming out stronger on the other side. This is why the world ends when they get the blue plate instead of the green for dinner. Whether in the "wrong chair", stuck eating terrible food, going to bed early, losing video games, getting a bad grade, a bad comment, bullied, broken up with. The world is on the verge of ending, until it doesn't.

We had a meeting the other night. The Children's Aid Society (CAS) of Mercer hosts gatherings 1x a month for adoptive/foster parents. This month they had a panel of 3 children who had been in the system. It was a nice Q&A session to just get information and a glimpse of how the system functions.

The first was a 10 y/o boy who had been adopted and had a few foster parents along the way. A nice kid who had been in a few foster homes stories. Next was a 15 y/o who broke my heart. He was adopted at 2 months and at around 12 was place back in foster care because he was fighting with his brother. There were some medical issues and other things going on where this ends up being slightly less heartless than it sounds. He has a serious plan for schooling and a career. He was respectful and struggling to find a place to feel at home.

Last on the panel was a lady who aged out of the system. If our heart broke before for the previous kid in the system, now it broke for the ugliness of the fallen world. "Anna" definitely was a troublesome child. She's basically the child of a crack-ho, has seen abusive guys roll in and out of her mom's house and has some anger about that. She's 20, working, loves kids but has none and no plans for any (terrified of being like her mother), not doing any drugs, and living on her own. She has a plan for getting more schooling. Considering the rough start and battles she has fought, she is doing pretty well. She could be doing better if she hadn't made MANY things harder than they had to be. Some poor choices but it seemed like she has a strong sense of right & wrong and won't back down; EVER.

What really jumped out to me about Anna is she still holds out hope that her parents will turnaround and show her love. Despite no-shows as over 30 court hearings; her dad travelling 4hrs to see another screwed up sibling and not the same for her; years of lying about coming to get her soon; stealing money from her. She had not taken the step of protecting herself and writing them out of her life. She still reaches out to them.

"I'm drowning in a sea of despair and monkeys dressed as lifeguards are throwing me anchors." -Dilbert

They have been anchors financially and emotionally and she continues to try to reach out to them and hold hope that they will reciprocate love. It's unconditional love on its head.

I gotta think in some way she knows their love should have been reaching out to her; not their broken promises.

So there's being hopeless in that "the world is ending" which is displayed so well by kids in the 3-10 range. There is also hopeless-B = incurable; there is those who will never give up and don't know how.

I'm starting to think adoption rings so loudly to us because the world is so broken. Anna should have been loved, her parents should protected her innocence and childhood instead of tearing it down for their own benefit. Truly it is a fallen world, we're going to battle it one child at a time.

Almost world famous - Phredd

2010-11-15T16:36:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a very busy day for my family. One of those that at the end you relax and wonder how all of that was squeezed into one day. I'll even pass on commenting on a terrible Steelers game and my hatred for the N.E. Patriots.

In some of my very formative years (13-18) I was part of a volunteer crew that setup Christian concerts that rolled through Lancaster. I'm guessing in that six year range it was close to 100 shows. Get there, unload the truck, setup the stage, watch the show (or play security), strike the stage and load it all up. Rinse, lather, repeat in 3 weeks. The mastermind, organizer and major driver (he'll deny all of these) was Fred.

Fred is now doing kids' shows and it was a great pleasure to have my church host a show yesterday. Fred helped with the Sunday morning service that included an incredibly touching song (He Will Listen to You):

I mentioned before about Fred being a good guy. In the service he continued to show great wisdom with his song selection (perfect for our congregation). After the service his concert was a tremendous display of musical skill, grace with children, storytelling and all around entertaining. All feedback I received (73 ppl in attendance) had a great time. Even after all these years, Fred is still a good guy.

During the day we managed to have several quality catch-up times. It was wonderful to catch up on Lancaster, Christian music industry (& machine), family and adoption.

It was also encouraging as Fred has been through the adoption process and we are currently at the start of it. We had a great lunch with him and it was just so refreshing, and our kids were asking when we could go visit Fred & his family.

At least now I'll have a new song in my head instead of Coffee or Elmer's Electric Tricycle.

The Kingdom belongs to such as these [pffftshhhwew]

2010-11-10T12:49:00.000-08:00

My 5 y/o after bedtime prayers gave me quite a chuckle.
C: no one knows how old God is.

me: that is true, He has just always been there.
C: and no one knows what he looks like.
me: true.
C: I know what he looks like.
me: how do you know what God looks like.
C: I saw a picture of him in the Bible. God has white hair, Jesus has brown hair. God has a white beard and Jesus has a brown beard. And God has [pffftshhhwew]* robes.

I was very impressed by the description of God's robes as [pffftshhhwew]. I can't think of any better words.

pffftshhhwew- adj - /pffftshhhwew/ (similar to the sound of a wet whoopee cushion stepped on and leaking out of two or more openings.
Origin: ancient kid word from various regions and cultures.
1) flowing glory that is beyond words.
2) pretty cool and big.

Librivox rox

2010-11-09T10:13:00.000-08:00

Today I finished "A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens. I thought about writing a quick review & then thought why not cover all that librivox has given to me thus far. I have a long list so I will try to limit the reviews to one line. In looking over my list two things jump out to me:
A) I'm a nerd.
B) I'm a GK Chesterton nerd.
Neither of these are new or shocking to me.

This is not a complete list - there have been some collections of short stories, sermons and speeches that have filled in my drive time as well. This is also the laziest reviews I could muster. It is a low thought blog today.

So in a nearly chronological order as remembered:

GK Chesterton:
Orthodox - The paradigm of a GKC work. A very strong and thought out defense of the Christian faith and how it works in life.
Eugenics & Other Evils - #2 recommended GKC work of the dangers of science trumping morals. Chilling and prophetic as it was written around 1915. Still chilling today.
Manalive - Fictional mystery of scaring people into being alive. Good.
Utopia of Userers - Social critique of willing workers, property and government.
Everlasting Man - History of man centered on the most critical turning point - Christ.
Alarms & Discursions - collection of essays on various subjects
Miscellany of Men - review of common man-types. Good.
George Bernard Shaw - GKC was a close friend to Shaw and this is part of their continual battle.
Heretics - scathing review of faulty logic & philosophical types.
Tremendous Trifles - a collection of essays
Napoleon of Notting Hill - fiction of citizenry and their defeat of government. Good
Superstition of Divorce - this is one that was a filler for me & was stunningly good on the implications of society losing it's respect of keeping a promise.
Defendant - presents a fierce defense (legal style) of things under attack by society.
The Ball and the Cross - fiction - possible #3 GKC book. A vibrant Christian & Atheist duel to the death over their contrasting worldviews. VERY good. The banter must have been lifted from GKC & Shaw.
Ballad of the Whitehorse -epic poem of Alfred the Great. Very well done. not easy listening.
Appetite of Tyranny - It was England focused of gov't rise. Very applicable of the seduction of power today as well.
What I saw in America - neat commentary of America & some commentary of our history.
What's Wrong with the World - possibly #3 GKC book; commentary of social trends.

Hillaire Belloc: (Belloc was a mentor & good friend to GKC. It is said he attended a prominent debate club as a spectator and was appalled by the terrible defense on one side, stood up and presented his defense and won the debate by crowd vote. That was the start of his path into writing & debating.)
On Something - essays
The Servile State - gov't power essays
Europe & the Faith - history of faith is tied to Catholic Church
First & Last - essays

George Macdonald:
The Princess & The Goblin - great adventure story for kids. excellent teaching pictures of faith, providence, etc.
The Princess & Curdie - part 2. Well written with more excellent teaching moments.
Ranald Bannerman's Boyhood - This book sealed me as a G-Mac fan. I was hooked on this story.
The Light Princess - witty teaching story of sacrifice.
The Hope of the Gospel - G-Mac started as a preacher & I know this had some "Oh - wow" moments for me that I cannot recall anymore.
The Shadows - I got confused but made it thru.
Lilith - This story lost me before I got 1/2 way. I'll try again someday; but it wanders greatly.
Phantastes - See above.
At The Back of North Wind - interesting tale of faith & providence with many layers. I need to go thru again soon & get deeper.

Pensees - Blaise Pascal - Notes of his that are very organized and boring to listen to.
The Divine Comedy - Dante - not very compelling as something to listen to.
Summa Theologica - Thomas Aquinas - I know I listened and can't remember a thing.
City of God - St. Augustine of Hippo - Tough at first but then VERY striking theological rebuke of issues at 450 that are still around today. Creation time. Authenticity of the Bible. This is a stunning rebuke of anyone who presumed all real knowledge started within the last 50-100-500 (pick your number) years and that all before then were morons.
Kidnapped - Robert Louis Stevenson - Awesome story. Stevenson was overlooked in his time & just tells a great story.
Treasure Island - RLS - Great story. The movies don't do it justice; it is just a great story.
The Wrong Box - RLS - I didn't make it thru this. It started very legal, I might try again.

Little Women - Loisa May Alcott - Becky asked me to listen to this. I'm glad she did & glad I listened. A great story that provides great insight into the life of people. I liked it.
A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens - A rather quick listen that is worthwhile. The Jesus elements tend to get white-washed out of most of the movie interpretations.
A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens - Rough at start but the last 1/3 were compelling. I'm now a Dickens fan.

Kids are tough

2010-11-04T10:32:00.000-07:00

Kids are tough. True 'dat.

I had a discussion last night with another father about newborns and the whole pregnancy/birth process. Like we did anything other than stand there with our hands in our pockets thru the whole thing. But there is in the US a tendency to handle newborns with such soft gloves. Very tender and gentle. Other countries are much more cavalier to pass the babies around to other children in the family. 6&8 year olds being the caretaker and watching over newborns while mom tends to the rest of life. A large part of that divide must be our reduced need to immediately start back tending to life (few US mom's are out tending crops lest they have sufficient food after the harvest). Another factor is we forget - kids are tough. I'm embarrassed by the accidents that have happened in our family (drops, couch rolls, stepped on, sat on, etc). Everyone is doing fine despite our clumsiness. Thank God, kids are tough.

One of my bigger frustrations is seeing kids gang up and pick on a singled out child. Back and forth banter is one thing, but when it gets to 5+ on 1, the world is collapsing. At that level there isn't a hole deep enough to crawl into and hide that will silence the cutting voices. I hope I am raising my kids to do better than I did. I'll admit to taking part in these mobs and have been a mob member more than a target. I want better from my kids; and not to be a non-participant. I want my kids to know right and wrong; and fight for what is right and fight against injustice. Kids are tough. Whether the target of the slings and arrows, drawing fire, or protecting the target it is not an easy task. Dear God, kids are tough, let my kids be tougher.

Parenting often requires the role of the police. I'm their parent not their best friend. I think one of my biggest frustrations is food battles. I remember them as a kid and resented brussel sprouts, and salisbury steak. I could manage peas by swallowing them whole with a drink - never tasted any of them. I loved chicken but not the skin, for a while I would only eat white or dark meat (I forget which). Now I'm at the other end of the battle over 5 peas, 2 bites of lasagna, chicken (but not skin), etc. It is not only a battle of sufficient nourishment. It is a battle of mentality - try new things, try different things. It is a battle over authority - because I said so. Ugh. Kids are tough.

Parenting also continually teaches you lessons. Often these are lessons learned by being pushed and pulled into new areas you would never venture on your own. Mostly your heart is constantly on your sleeve to be used daily. When they look you square in the eye and defy you to see what you do; it bruises. When they say mommy & daddy for the first time, or produce a handwritten card with crooked letter; it melts. When they are left out of a game or upset at a name someone called them; it breaks. It is a roller coaster, kids are tough.

All this to say:
- despite our clumsy hands and awkward feet - kids are tough.
- despite all being images of God and having different strengths and weaknesses - kids are tough.
- regardless of lofty parental goals or low and weary attempts - kids are tough.
- no matter the effort to keep it hidden, your heart melts and burns - kids are tough.

It's that time of year again.

2010-11-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

I sometimes dread this time of year. The opinion polls, the constant checking of the state of the world, the uncertainty of the future, and the feeling that this is truly the most important event of the year; if not the most significant of the past 10 years. Pressure of making the exact right choice or paying the consequences for years to come.

It is my wife's birthday.

I generally have no problem remembering when Becky's b-day is. I'm more dumbfounded by what to get her. I try to avoid the general appliance items; I want to give a gift that expresses my love for my wife. I have a hard time reconciling a handblender to thoughtfulness, even if needed and used everyday. My target is to provide what her heart is seeking. I've tried in the past and failed miserable at Becky's birthdays. My guesses at clothing are awful (I should have known by how I dress), movie/show and dinner plans end up clogged. Of our 16 years (ish) together I've probably had 6 hits, certainly less than 10. While .375 would be great for baseball (and .625 would be unheard of) I feel I should be doing better.

We are at a point where price tag shock of "you shouldn't have" doesn't really carry weight for us. It comes from the same money pool. It'll be on the family credit card. Car payments seem to push the thinking process into drive rather than mindlessly picking jewelry or fancy tools.

So I'm always stuck wrestling:
What do you get the woman who holds the house together?
What gift is right for the one who keeps you grounded so you don't get lost in the clouds?
What do you give to the one who you want to get lost in the clouds with?
What is her heart set on that I can provide?

Moments in time. Memories.
Tonight we (me & kids) are making chocolate lava cake (it turns out you can't really make these ahead of time since they need to be served while goo-ey. So plan "A" of making it last night didn't work. Live & learn.)

I'm hoping to provide: singing, gifts, family games.
Fun and love that can't be wrapped in paper because they are wrapped in time.

If this fails, I will have only one question for the future - are Sears or Macy's giftcards better?

Timing is Everything

2010-10-29T12:38:00.000-07:00

It is currently said that hope goes with youth and lends to youth its wings of a butterfly; but I fancy that hope is the last gift given to man, and the only gift not given to youth. Youth is pre-eminently the period in which a man can be lyric, fanatical, poetic; but youth is the period in which a man can be hopeless. The end of every episode is the end of the world. But the power of hoping through everything, the knowledge that the soul survives its adventures, that great inspiration comes to the middle-aged. God has kept that good wine until now. GK Chesterton in 'Charles Dickens'

In my daily GKC quote calendar this one came up, and this quote stirred my mind. Mostly the line regarding keeping the good wine until now. It gave me a new understanding of the original event. There is much to be said for getting through the experiences thinking there is nothing on the other side (hopeless) and you come through stronger and with hope for future experiences. But back to the line - "...kept that good wine until now."

Jesus at the wedding in Cana (John 2) turns water into wine. He directs servants to fill jars with water and he directs them to take some to the master of ceremonies who says - "Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now."

This has always been one of those Bible things that puzzled me. It was never crystal clear to me why this was his first miracle and then Jesus' comment to Mary "why involve me? My time has not yet come." Always rather fuzzy to me.

Well reading more into the MC - "you have saved the best till now." The jars that were filled were used for cleansing ceremonies and washing before eating. Up until then all the cleaning was external, now the cleansing was going inside; instead of just washing hands Jesus makes you able to drink the clean wine.

Thinking of Jesus' life as the entry of the good wine. I'm sure there are much deeper implications, but that just got me to chuckle at a "well, duh" moment.

Science & Philosophy

2010-10-20T11:00:00.000-07:00

In these days we are accused of attacking science because we want it to be scientific. Surely there is not any undue disrespect to our doctor in saying that he is our doctor, not our priest or our wife or ourself. It is not the business of the doctor to say that we must go to a watering-place; it is his affair to say that certain results of health will follow if we do go to a watering-place. After that, obviously, it is for us to judge. Physical science is like simple addition; it is either infallible or it is false. To mix science up with philosophy is only to produce a philosophy that has lost all its ideal value and a science that has lost all its practical value. I want my private physician to tell me whether this or that food will kill me. It is for my private philosopher to tell me whether I ought to be killed.
GK Chesterton - All Things Considered

I think the general disbelief and subsequent apathy about any scientific hub-bub is due to this affect. "Wolf!" has been cried so much it is hard to believe any scientist. The mingling of philosophy (and further politics) with science reports has tainted both.

"When my wife & I play cards; I come in second, she comes in next to last." -Jim Tremblay
Figures don't lie, but liars can figure.

Either side of any argument can produce some expert and some study to show the rate of increase/decrease of a data point with limited connection indicates we are at a point of acting now or facing immediate peril. How perilous is the peril? Very.

Monty Python and The Holy Grail
Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.

Galahad: I don't think I was.
Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Lancelot: No, it's far too perilous.
Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.
Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.

Sorry, I just wanted a quick rant as this is the season of polls and opinion meters. They keep asking questions nobody cares about (Red or Blue) in an attempt to justify themselves when we may all likely want Orange.

Why we are not adopting

2010-10-19T09:35:00.000-07:00

This is a strange title - especially considering yesterday was "Why we are adopting". Well it's a hook to make you want to read it. And clearly it worked because here you are & now you are compelled. And you aren't reading merely because you are bored or are delaying doing the dishes, writing a report or tending a diaper. Nope surely it was the hook.

This post is more to clarify that some may say they want to adopt because of "blah blah blah". This is not to talk down to some of these causes (although I might do that) or that the causes are bad (some misguided, some okay). Just that they are not driving causes for why we are adopting.

We are not adopting to:

1. Help some charity case.
We're talking about people, not puppies. This is especially troublesome in that you can slip into always expecting a child to run down stairs in the morning and say "thank you" everyday for pulling them out of muck and mire, and putting them into your family. "You are so kind". When's the last time you thanked your parents for giving you birth? When's the last time you thanked your boss for keeping you employed? Your spouse for marrying you? Not that it would be bad, it just is not going to be a constant attitude. Eventually you get busy living and the love moves past initial warm feelings. The relationship grows deeper.

2. Fix a marriage problem.
We have struggles and disagreement like anybody. Bringing in chaos isn't going magically solve anything. Just like getting a dog doesn't make dating couples deeper; it makes them have a common object of focus so they don't have to focus on each other.

3. score points.
This is not an effort to put more points on our Christian scorecard. If you're keeping score you'll find you missed the point.

4. fix some personal problem.
Problems aplenty; none will be solved (or expected to be) or even covered up by adopting.

5. because we can't have kids of our own (or we're short on our magic number)
We have 3 great kids. Our silly talk early on was five kids. We went through an involved medical plan for keeping our youngest as a healthy delivery. Neo-natal allo-immune thrombocytopenia (NAIT). A child (and life) is worth fighting for and we won the fight; We are capped, short of a miracle baby (which we will fight through the whole process again) we are done biologically. We are not looking to fill our quota developed as love-lost teeny boppers. I wouldn't be surprised if this ends up be a lifetime of growing a family.

The process has started. We submitted the application, we have been assigned a case-worker and will soon go through the interviews, background checks, etc.

Why we are adopting?

2010-10-18T12:20:00.000-07:00

So we have started the process to adopt a child which brings about the question - why adopt? This is not an easy question to answer. But I think if you are considering adoption, you need to know your answer(s). In no particular order here are a few reasons:

1. Life is beautiful.
I think there is a very dangerous and unhinged train of thought that I have heard a few times and am hearing more recently - life isn't worth living. I've heard it guised under eugenics - literally abortion rather than suffering through this life with some troubles. I've heard it buried in being green - reduce your carbon footprint and mankind's enslavement of the earth by planning on not having kids and make sure that happens. All of these say the same thing and ignore the obvious question: what if your parent's thought the same thing? This two ideas are so self defeating and short sighted I'd like to be stunned anyone takes them serious; but it is unfortunately all too fitting in a 10-second soundbite world.
"A hard life isn't worth living" - (Easy answer - tell that to Hellen Keller, Lou Gherig, Stephen Hawking, Woody Guthrie, etc). An agnostic answer is to fight the battle in front of you and the world might end up a better place. A theist (generic God believer) answer is that God made you & you have value. Preserve it and let it flourish.

"The world is better off without mankind in it" - um okay, you first go first; I'll let you know if we're better off without you. This isn't self sacrifice for other folks, that would be honorable.  It's suicide for an ideal that isn't supportable. What if we come up with better food/nourishment resources? who's even here to say it's better? To me it sounds like "I'm going to take my ball & go home" with the extra adder of being grumpy with those who keep playing.

The beauty of watching kids at play is their innocence. We want to preserve and nourish that as much as we can, including beyond our current household. I think the other side is seeing potential, and seeing it being fulfilled. Life is beautiful.

2.  Our heart is in it.
My heart breaks at sad stories of kids. Mostly when parents use, abuse, and neglect kids. The stories of a fallen world hit you in the gut; but what hits me more is when the child is given up by those it should trust the most. One of the key things in parenting is providing a home. Whether it's an apartment, house or trailer doesn't matter. A safe place for kids to grow. Parenting is tough. I fully understand wanting some time away, or feeling burdened. But guess what - parenting is great too.  There is no greater time than saturday morning. A cup of coffee in hand and then hearing that sound. The thud of little feet hitting the floor and then they rumble through the house like a heart seeking missile to find you. The missile hits and your morning is blown-up in a good way.

3. Our family has room.
More as a combo of everything above we want to provide a solid launching pad for a kid (or some kids) who just need help. Giving them a better shot. Letting them reach for the stars with love and support; being there to catch them when they fall; brushing off scraped knees and getting back into the game. (okay I'm out of quaint little metaphors/analogies).

I can come up with lots of objections. What about the risk (emotional, physical, etc) to your own kids? Can you handle a kid that is ....... old? Won't it be hard to have a kid that looks like ......?

I then come back to this - the world isn't nice & packaged. If you want to avoid all risks, you aren't going to do anything. We are doing this to risk in love & sow seeds in love; then wait and pray and hope (trust) that the fruit is good.

Do we know what we are in for? - no (I'd be lying if I said yes)
Do we know the outcome? - nope
Is there risk? - yup
Do we need to do this? - nope
Is this some part of "if your Christian you should be adopting"? - nope. But it is in the heart-plan of our marriage.
Are we scared? - yup

Let the adventure begin.

Hark! Laughter like a lion wakes

To roar to the resounding plain,

And the whole heaven shouts and shakes,

For God Himself is born again;

And we are little children walking

Through the snow and rain.

The Wise Men - GK Chesterton

Everybody's a "--------" (<-- well meaning idiot).

2010-10-13T13:03:00.000-07:00

Frequently at work we (engineers) get our perfect little design process upset. A well meaning idiot (sales) will come in & tell us how to better a design. Today that took the form of being told that a pivot shaft shouldn't move; it has to - or the mechanism doesn't pivot. Our salesman was stuck in truly misguided concern.

This quickly reminded me of an adventure while I was working in aircraft maintenance. Whenever there is a plane crash it ripples through the industry. The pain is felt by every company. There is the pain that the FAA will induce with increased scrutiny until the cause is determined; but it is more the pain of tragic loss. There is a strange brotherhood that exists across company lines by all workers who make the magic happen. About 2weeks after a major airline accident we received a letter. An engineer 20 years retired and about 40 years from school wrote us with some tidbit of info he had about fatigue strength in materials and that this was a burning concern of his and should be investigated by every airline before taking 1 more flight. He was a well meaning idiot. Airline engineers are peons at the bidding of the manufacturers and the FAA. We have no power to shut down all flights. We can't do anything about the fatigue life of materials. The manufacturers have determined factored this into the design. The guy was wrong on many fronts. The punchline to it was that our director took him VERY seriously and wanted to know how to draft a letter to the FAA addressing these concerns.

This also reminds me of conversations with my dad. He is quick to tell me how to coach my kid's soccer team (I've played 15 years, he played 15 minutes), talk to my customers, deal with vendors, correct installation problems at work, parent my kids, play frisbee, and what the steelers did wrong when he didn't watch the game. I love my father, I know he loves me; he just has a hard time letting go of the guidance impulse. If I ever have an electrical problem he is my first call - I'm not sure beyond that.

Back to my work:
Our salesman has a heart of gold and wants to treat every customer with respect and solve their problems. I like that. He will come in with a customer stuck looking to provide a solution and wants engineers to have something to solve the problem 5 minutes ago. It takes time to hear the problem, evaluate & determine the cause, come up with a solution and then implement it. Somewhere in evaluating the cause Salesguy generally gets mad and walks out. He is stuck thinking we aren't helping and we think he's a well meaning idiot.

Basically experts make things look easy. I am not an NFL quarterback, I have yelled at the TV and thought I could tackle better. I am not a director, but I am sure I would toss in some pointers to Spielberg out of pure ignorance and be a well meaning idiot. I am not a writer or singer and have been far too vocal with my pride at music, books, shows, etc. Much of this is just taste & isn't worth the electrons holding my blog.

Trouble comes with encountering idiots and not being prideful. Forgetting that I can not walk where my salesman does and see what the needs for the whole customer plant are. I will easily miss the sticking points that can make a project a success, or a well designed pile of parts that doesn't do what the customer needs. That same pride of my expertise area pushes me to offer advice on things where I have no clue. Stupid pride, shut your mouth and let everyone be excellent at the area where their gifts/talents lie. Quit crushing dreams and seeking to feed yourself or your self image with broken pieces.

I guess all this to say:
where I am an expert - give me humility & grace in dealing with well meaning idiots.
where I am a well meaning idiot - give my a silent tongue, a patient heart and eyes to watch the experts do what they do. Create beauty.

Sunshine Makers

2010-10-06T11:20:00.000-07:00

"...keep cheerful as well as busy, for you are the sunshine-maker of the family, and if you get dismal there is no fair weather." Little Women

I've been listening to Little Women on my morning drive (librivox.org still rocks). I heard this line this morning & it really hit home. It's from Ch.38 meaning I have about 7 chapters left.

Little Women is one of Becky's favorite books. I had been overdue on reading it for about 2 months, 12 years or 22 years depending on your outlook. I'll take the average - 17 years, 1 month. No matter what math used or not used, I'm glad to be getting into the book.

It is a great book. It is not about shrunken people, gigantic aliens or battles between people of different physical sizes - and I still like it. It is a story about a family that stays simple. The simple morals and joys jump out to me the most. None of the family characters have deep ulterior motives or plans to manipulate people. They face the world with straight forward truth and love. Honest with each other through all situations, and in all situations seeking to do what is right.

The line really hit home with because for about 2 months this has been evident in our home. The line is lifted from a speech where Mrs. March is helping Meg understand about outlook and remembering the whole house and family, not just being a slave to the kids. We've been regularly doing a devotional that has kept us talking about everything. Just starting each morning together with prayer & conversation has been great. Some mornings are easier than others, but we are there each morning.

I think it really has sunk in recently for both of us how the basic outlook affects the whole house. I know somedays it is easier to be the sunshine-maker than other days. But there is certainly a difference when sunshine is made rather than focusing on clouds and expecting sunny weather. It results in a sunnier house.

A concerted effort.

2010-10-04T10:27:00.000-07:00

Our household lives pretty frugally. Some may call it cheap. Some may still say we're high on the hog.
I think we're pretty good at being simple.
I like my beer from a can. We cut the cable (but still have remnant, sshh; but no DVR). We usually eat dinner around the table. We don't any I-berry type of devices. The wii is our primary game system and the kids can only play on the weekend. Our outstanding debt is low, if we can't buy it; we don't.

While we generally don't go extravagant with stuff - we do have a rich schedule.

I get pulled into this trap of thinking once event XXX passes, things will go back to "normal". I'm pretty sure my basic definition of a "normal day" or "normal week" is flawed. They are rarely similar enough to call them normal. It's more that we move from project to project (house), event to event (kids, us).

One of my latest undertakings is bringing music to Grove City. Phredd www.phreddcentral.com is coming to play at our church on Nov 14th @ 2:00pm. (you should come, no seriously. plan on being there). Phredd puts on a fun show for kids of all ages with silly songs, dancing & worship.

While in high school I was fortunate to get involved as volunteer staff to setup Christian concerts that rolled thru Lancaster. Many shows rolled through there due to the work of Fred McNaughton and WJTL/Creation Concerts. Generally unload the truck; setup the stage; be on hand as merchandise help, ticket help or security; tear-down & go home. A great way to see some great shows.

The short list:
Sardonyx, Newsboys, DC Talk, Michael W. Smith, Twila Paris, Phil Keaggy, Michael Card, Phil & John, One Bad Pig, Steven Curtis Chapman, The Choir, Acapella, 4-Hymn, Glad, Geoff Moore & the Distance, Pray for Rain, Petra, Whiteheart, Myron Lefevre, Jonny Lang, Audio Adrenaline, Degarmo & Key, Bryan Duncan, Carman, Rez Band, Sixpence None the Richer, Whitecross, Barren Cross. That's all I can think of without getting into the Creation festival list.

Sometimes you got a t-shirt or some music from the artists for help. That was the coolest thing when it occurred. I still have a few of their tapes. I remember giving away many CD's because "I won't get a CD player". I'm sure there are more but they tended to rise & fall frequently. There's a whole other blog about the music industry & marketing.

I also remember getting a ride home one time with Fred because he lived in my town. Trying to impress him, and with my wonderful middle school wisdom I told him a very lewd joke. (Curse you brain for still remembering that joke & not remembering family birthdays). Fred handled it with grace & said "I don't think I get it, I don't want to." I caught on and the conversation went elsewhere. I have since admired him for the grace & love shown in that immediate moment. Fred is a good man.

Well now Fred has thru God's providence moved into taking the stage as a performer and I'm anxious for the show. He's also shown grace in helping figure out what I'm doing promoting a concert. Again, Fred is a good man.

Part of me hopes this blossoms successfully and I can get more music out the Grove City way. Part of me wants to get it done & catch my breath, because it's a lot of work. Don't let me lead you astray, I'm doing a tiny sliver & Becky is my superb sounding board, poster creator, artistic editor and doing much legwork.

But I'm sure once this show is done things will get back to normal.

Make Believe

2010-10-01T08:39:00.000-07:00

I have to admit - my kids scare me. I get very excited & think (like most parents I'm sure) "my kids are brilliant." B-roo doing sudoku's at 6. Cabu at 4 trying to use a fishing pole to get toys that are stuck behind the toybox. Ninjally starting to spout out phrases rather than a word here or there; an intepreter may still be needed but they're happening. My kids are brilliant, and they scare me.

Probably the one who scares me the most is Cabu.
Last night driving home from soccer practice there was a lengthy explanation needed because I told a story. I frequently tell random stories to my kids of Joey McGurk getting into oddball situations. Cabu wanted to be put ontop of the van so he could see a bug. (He's been placed up there periodically before, sshhh.) I said "no not this time. once when I was growing up Joey McGurk was up there and his shirt got stuck & he had to ride home on the roof." (this is a typical Joey McGurk 2 sentence story).

Upon being quized if that was real, I had to confess - "No, I'm just telling a silly story. Playing pretend."

B-roo had to chime in with - "make believe."

Cabu then dissected what it means to "make believe" and that is not really the same as "play pretend." This is where I get scared. That's deep. Way deep.
Okay taking "pretend" as the name of a game, (playing soccer) playing pretend simply means to take part in a game of imagination encounters - more or less. Using sticks as guns is a form of playing "pretend".

He said about believing in God and how to make believe - he's not pretending. There is a sense that if it's made it isn't belief, it is knowing; if I know it's pretend - I'm not really going to believe it. I was able to somewhat settle him with it being a silly story and God is real. Belief is too serious, it is not made.

Knowing I was outmatched in this battle of wits I changed the subject. Since his wits and his attention span are sharped than mine, the ploy worked.

Faith like a child.

"The two facts which attract almost every normal person to chidren are, first, that they are very serious, and, secondly, that they are in consequence very happy. They are jolly with the completeness which is possible only in the absence of humour. The most unfathomable schools and sages have never attained to the gravity which dwells in the eyes of a baby of three months old.
It is the gravity of astonishment at the universe, and astonishment at the universe is not mysticism, but a transcendent common-sense." - GK Chesterton

Gospel Paradox - Sermon

2010-09-26T17:29:00.000-07:00

This is my sermon (minus inflections and a few more jokes). probably long but it made for a quick blog post.

Sermon on the mount (Matt: 5-7, Luke 6):
Matthew 6:
22"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

Anytime there has been an opening to preach I ask myself: “self, is there a burning message (a burden) on my heart that God wants me to share”. I’ve preached a few times at our last church and my time finally came up to preach here. This is probably the most written out I’ve been for any sermon. Not because I need the notes, I love winging it and am not a natural organizer; but because it is such a burning heart message for me I don’t want to mess up the delivery any more than I will by nature..

Gospel Paradox
Background:
I get about 1hr each day of drive time while going to work in Ellwood City. I love this time. I mainly use this time to pray and to listen. I have been listen to lots of books & sermons on my commute. I’ve come to value this time so much, I’d have a hard time going to a 5 minute commute.
Somewhere in the past 2 years I was listening to GK Chesterton & Timothy Keller when some ideas merged; and I finally understood a few spiritual mysteries. Not all mysteries, but a few; those few have made me feel alive. Basically one hit me in the heart and it has made all the difference. The idea of a paradox and there being a paradox to the Gospel. This is my attempt to explain. So if your a visitor, sorry for the brain dump; if this message doesn’t connect never fear, Pastor Bill will be back next week.

A paradox is two truths that seem to be opposed but work together. Think of a football offense. A successful offense needs a running game & a passing game. If it was all running the D would ignore the pass run blitz & crowd the box. If it was all passing they’d blitz, drop to zone coverage, etc & shut it down. Lucky for the steelers, we have a defense & clearly don’t need an offense.

God often works in a Paradox. It sounds strange but realizing this was freeing to me.

There are two basic questions that plague the spiritual curious and the new believer.
Why do bad things happen to good people?
If God is so loving, why is there a hell?
Not easy questions. And we naturally don’t like to leave things un-answered.
Gaining an understanding in your faith is a good thing. Not just these questions, but in how God works in the lives of believers. Studying God’s word and how that applies to your life is part of what we are called to do. (2 Tim. 3 - All scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correction, and training in righteousness). Some has been studies of curiosity, some joy, and some wrestling with doubts or un-ease.

These are not easy questions. With answers to questions there a 3 basic options you can take:
1) take an easy answer and don’t think further about it.
2) Trust God to be all knowing, and don’t think further about it.
3) Wrestle with it to get your thinking to match what we know about God, his character and his creation.

Why is the sky blue?
1) because angels painted blue, they must have big brushes.
2) I’m not sure, but God made it that way and I’ll enjoy it.
3) Because blue is the only color not filtered by the atmosphere in our visual spectrum. I’ll enjoy the blue and the colors that appear it at sunrise & sunset when the refraction is bigger. What a beautiful creation.

While not necessarily dangerous in smaller issues we need to be careful with the answers we settle with. I think scripturally your stretching to find out if Gabriel uses 1 coat or two. It does become harmful when it affects our outlook on life and how we see God. It is a very clever trick by clever people or Satan to take a nugget of truth then twist it. The Bible is a huge book and taking only one verse or one passage as a foundation for an entire theology is dangerous. It will sound mildly good because it starts with that nugget, but it can end away from the truth and away from God. Prosperity gospel (step out in faith and you will be blessed in this world), social gospel (if you’re a Christian you will support cause XXX), political gospel (vote for Joe, because you’re a Christian).

The Sermon on the mount (Matthew 5-7 & Luke 6) is Jesus’ overarching teaching ministry. Basically his longest single teaching moment. The read scripture is a part of the sermon the mount and we’re going to buzz through the whole thing.

Jesus starts in Matt. 5: Blessed are the poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, those who hunger & thirst for righteousness, pure in heart, peacemakers, persecuted. Those who are serving and seeking will see (v16) “Great is your reward in heaven.” All of these humble outlooks in spirit and in service are good things. These people are justified.

Key theological word - justified. To be right with God. Declared righteous. To be justified is a status; a static definition of who their standing with God. In court terms a person found not guilty has been justified. It is not a process like sanctification. Sanctification is more of a movement in holiness, seeking living in a way that is honoring to good.
If we also look at Luke 18 9-14 -
9To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: 10"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11The Pharisee stood up and prayed about[a] himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
13"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
14"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Taking this as a truth nugget you can build this into a message of poverty for Jesus, or of a great reward for the downtrodden who were left stranded by the economy. This easily gets twisted and grows. We hear that if we’re beaten up by the world, we are loved and there is a plan for us. If we stop listening there, this grows into making your own future righteousness with no cost. And we still see this today.
If we don’t read the rest of the sermon and say Jesus was only talking about Love:
With a singular focus on nugget of : Love thy neighbor as thyself (Mark 12:31). For God so loved the world.(John 3:16)... God is love.(1 John 4:8)...
This thinking rolls into:
+ Everyone is basically good. You want to help everyone. Reach out to all communities. We can just talk through differences. Nobody is really evil. Everybody is really good in their heart and all will be well in the end. This can easily become a Universalism - all will be saved. “Yes, this world’s economy is broken and there is something better that all will get.” It’s a nice place to rest mentally. But it is not a truthful place to rest.
Back to the tough question: How can a God who loves us & made us send people to hell?
This question is stuck wrestling with a true holiness of God. We end up dismissing God’s holiness with two thoughts.
1 - You know more than God. Actually you love people more than God. Because you wouldn’t send someone away from you. But we know from Matt7:-22Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'
It doesn’t sound like “love” and your sense of love is bigger than God’s actual love. Your rules are better than God’s. You know more than God.
-OR- 2- God isn’t big enough. He character will allow sin to hang around. There is no punishment.

So a singular holding of being “in favor with God” doesn’t really hold up.
Before we can stop there we need to look further at what Jesus says. What about law?

v.17 Jesus says Do not think I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. An economy being an exchange of goods/services for other goods & services. It can become a game to be played of continually making trades to move up. It’s easy to see the law as an economy of blessings. I will trade some of my behavior (doing good or not doing bad) for some blessing. Jesus says - Nope - winning that isn’t good enough. “They say don’t murder, but I say don’t hate. They say don’t commit adultery I say don’t lust. They say love your neighbor, I say love your enemy.” That blessing economy is what you see the Pharisees trying to play. With the prodigal sons; The older brother mad at the party for a lost younger brother; the 1st vineyard workers angry at the later workers being paid the same. There is a sense that if I play nice I will be blessed with prosperity and easy life. If I’m doing well, it’s because I’m behaving well.

Law:
With a singular focus on nuggets of: Keep my commandments (John 14:15). For the wages of sin are death.(Romans 6:23).
This thinking rolls into:
+Hard work gets you to where you are. Fight the good fight, run the race with pride.
The evil will be punished. Prosperity gospel. If bad things are happening it’s because you deserve it. You suck, try harder. There is a blessing economy and rewards are waiting. Just “do” good.

All of this ends with the tough question: Why do bad things happen to good people?
This question is stuck wrestling with limiting the love of God. God’s love is fenced in by two ideas:
1) You know more than God. Your idea of love is better than God’s providing of it. Mercy is better handled by you than by God. You want to with hold mercy (love) to some who seem unfit, when we’re all unfit.
2) God’s grace isn’t big enough to forgive some sin (if you don’t like yourself) OR your sins aren’t big enough to need the forgiveness (if you do like yourself). “You’re a good person & only need a little saving grace. “ While maybe stopping short of a works based salvation, it is easy to slip into a works economy. A thinking that Jesus got me the car but I can drive the Highway to Heaven myself. Blessings to me are a result of my works (at least partially).

With the Sermon Jesus also pulls apart those who are winning the economy game. Those who are doing well and keep most of the laws. You have the law and say do this...but I say do more.
Matt5: 20For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.
You aren’t measuring up on your own, you are a sinner.

So a message of blessing alone leaves me stuck, and a message of law alone leaves me stuck.
Wow, thanks for the great news. I’m gonna go crawl under a rock now.

So here Jesus is saying there is a love that will reach down to the lowest of lows, and a bar set high by Law that we will never clear.

Jesus says hold both. It is a paradox of us being a justified sinner. Believing in faith, we are justified sinners. While we are fully justified, we are fully a sinner.
Romans 5:
1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.

8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
9Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him!

They seem to battle each other as ideas, but we must hold both.
At the end of the Sermon (Matt 7:28) the people are amazed because he taught as one with authority and not as their teachers of the law. Up until now the Law teachings had been “you suck, try harder” OR a teaching “you don’t suck, it’ll be okay.” Jesus blows through this, “you suck, stop trying on your own”. In this teaching Jesus is bringing people to a new understanding of God the Father.

Let me see if I can bring this out.
I grew up in a small town in central PA, similar to GC. Graduating class of 145 kids. One day there was some water problem for our street. We had received notice that the water would be out for a few hours while doing repairs and then “good as new.”
After the work was done we had water pressure and my mom started the laundry. Upon going to move it from washer to dryer, she found the whites were now orange. A mud and rust orange.
Mom tried to re-wash, and to use bleach. No luck, t-shirts were still orange.

The world-love philosophy will say there is not true white, orange-ish is close enough. Or will deny there is a white, it’s upto us to define white for ourselves and it will be okay in the end.

The law philosophy will say scrub more. “the clothes aren’t white keep scrubbing until it’s brighter since I’m closer to white than you”. But at the end of the rinse cycle, they’re still dingy.

We knew what color they were supposed to be. We knew the right color. It wasn’t that the soaps and bleach couldn’t work; we still had orange water.

We know what is right and that we are not quite right. We know what it will look like to be of use to God. Maybe not exactly, it will probably be better than we can dream; but we have some idea. But we are dingy. We are trying to clean ourselves with orange water. It doesn’t matter how much we may want to be clean. We can call orange the new white; in our hearts we know it isn’t true. Ignoring orange doesn’t work. Ignoring white doesn’t. Denying the difference between orange & white doesn’t work. Similarly all the “love” doesn’t remove God’s holiness or his perfection and our sinfulness.

We can hand scrub with the best of soaps. We can soak with ultra-clorox. The water we’re soaking with isn’t clear. It isn’t that the process can’t work, it’s that we can’t work the process. All of the “law” effort will still leave us coming up short.

v23 if your eyes are bad. We need to have the clean water.

Hold Both:
There is a trap in truth nuggets. They draw us into limiting our view of God and rejecting truth that doesn’t line up. Traps of a one dimensional thinking about God. It’s convenient to hold him in the one dimensional box. But it’s a trap that is limiting.

You are loved more than you’ll ever know. You are more sinful than you can bear.
God is big.
Realize that it isn’t the system that’s broke; it’s us. We have nothing of value to present to God. v24 you cannot serve both God & Money. God & Mammon in some versions. Do you know what mammon is? mammon is stuff, identity stuff. You must give up on your identity stuff. It’s easy to identify materialism, money, stuff that may be holding your claim. I’m the guy who owns the big house, cool car, nice tractor. Identity can also happen with title / career: president of the company, supervisor, mom or dad of great kids, children of so&so, so&so’s brother. Another and much more difficult mammon is to see when your identity is generally good things. We can start to see that as our own righteousness. It becomes a point of pride “I’ve done this; I’m doing that. I’m pretty good.”
I can tell you firsthand, hard to see; and therefore hard to give up. Ever read a passage & think, “Oh, phooey. I’m a Pharisee”. I was a Pharisee in thinking I had something of value to God. Yes Jesus saved me; but now I was working with God to get things done. I had a mental economy going on with God. My thinking was “God is my co-pilot” and needs my driving skill. The truth is that God doesn’t need or want my driving skills; he wants my broken heart.

I had to understand that the truth is a paradox. Specifically the paradox of being a Justified Sinner. One of the essential things is a paradox be all of two truths knotted together. It is not 1/2 of one truth and 1/2 of the other.

Charles Spurgeon had some battles against the Law-keepers at the time. Especially with predestination VS free-will thumpers. He was accused of being too much free-will and of being too much focused on predestination. He says:
“That God predestines, and that man is responsible, are two things that few can see. They are believed to be inconsistent and contradictory; but they are not. It is just the fault of our weak judgment. Two truths cannot be contradictory to each other. If, then, I find taught in one place that everything is fore-ordained, that is true; and if I find in another place that man is responsible for all his actions, that is true; and it is my folly that leads me to imagine that two truths can ever contradict each other. These two truths, I do not believe, can ever be welded into one upon any human anvil, but one they shall be in eternity: they are two lines that are so nearly parallel, that the mind that shall pursue them farthest, will never discover that they converge; but they do converge, and they will meet somewhere in eternity, close to the throne of God, whence all truth doth spring. “

We are Justified Sinners.
Being a sinner I have no reason to be proud of any accomplishments or possession or any identitity, I know they are still dingy. Further (as a sinner) I can’t look down on the poor. We are the poor. Being justified we can reach out in love because there is a blessing, a Good News to share. The rich have no leverage when compared to that future blessing. There is no reason to be envious, jealous, or spiteful to the winners in the economy game.

Trying for 1/2 and 1/2 and balancing two truths will not work. It will result in an economy between the two. You become moderate between the two trying not to be pulled too far by either. Still trying to keep something that will be of value on the other side. It’s in holding both that you are alive, passionately alive.
Spurgeon put it like this:
My love of consistency with my own doctrinal views is not great enough to allow me knowingly to alter a single text of Scripture. I have great respect for orthodoxy, but my reverence for inspiration is far greater. I would sooner a hundred times over appear to be inconsistent with myself than be inconsistent with the word of God.

Once I got this understanding of a Gospel paradox, I couldn’t stop seeing them. The pattern is throughout scripture:
The 1st shall be last & the last shall be first.
Dying to the world, to live for God.
Having the strength to surrender.
The greatest King being the greatest servant.
Paul saying (2 Corinth 12:10) - when I am weak, then I am strong.
Rejoice in your sufferings.
Jesus being son of man & son of God. Fully man and fully God.
A God of holiness and strength, becoming weak and taking on sin.

The pattern is freeing throughout life. It frees you from worrying about ultimate success or perfection - you will fail. It also frees you by giving you a peaceful, solid starting ground - I can now serve joyfully.

These aren’t just two separate concepts. When held together they become a motivating breath of life. You are loved more than you’ll ever know. You are more sinful than you can bear. It’s because I bring nothing to the table, that all the works are to glorify him. Because I’m not depending on my own success to define who I am; that I can go where he sends me.

I know I’ve thrown out a lot of information.
Sorry, it’s something that’s been stewing in me for 2 years and will continue for much more. I tossed out a bunch of heady stuff and as a justified sinner I know this: God’s ways are higher than man’s ways, His thoughts are higher than my thoughts.
Love the lord your God with all of your heart, mind, and strength. And to love my neighbor as myself.

This morning has been deep in the mind, hopefully in the hear also; may it motivate you to go out and love the Lord with all your strength also.

-hymn.

It’s there. All of this has been there the whole time. It was in the very mission statement of the church. . ...redeemed by grace & motivated by God’s love.... Redeemed because we are a sinner and are now justified. It's the heart of the gospel.

- Center Church is a spiritual family, redeemed by grace & motivated by God's love to make a difference in the world for Jesus.

Hebrews 13:20, 21
Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Sabbatical for the Sabbath

2010-09-20T09:21:00.000-07:00

My blogging regularity has been on decline for the past 2 wks. I'm filling in for our pastor on Sunday. I've been busy working on a sermon.

I've preached before; I think I was an adequate mouthpiece. This time seems different though. It's probably the most I've prepared my sermonading. By that I mean the most written out. Mostly I want to preach the current heart burden I have. Gospel Paradox - specifically being a justified sinner. Getting this view at the base identity; beyond identity the definition of who you are

So given a topic I could rant for 1hr about if I get going, I need to keep it to 20 minutes to explain it and why it matters. That's why I'm writing it out. Something odd & true about putting in so much time to keep something short.

So to all 6 of my faithful, loyal readers I will be back upto speed soon with the fine nuances if paradox, family, frisbee and life in general.

Notes from HM-MMX

2010-09-09T09:30:00.000-07:00

A friend asked me to pass along my notes from Hutchmoot. So here they are. Not a real post; just some notes (and very scattered & random too). A while back I said I was done with HM specific posts. Well, I was wrong.

Perfected in Weakness - Sam (SD) Smith, Travis Prinzi, Pete (Arthur Sherman) Peterson
Better to have little faith in a big God, than big faith in a little one.

John Ruskin - (author to be looked up)

Weakness defines our struggle & not our person.

The Immersed Imagination - Andrew Peterson, Ron Block
Mark Helprin - The Winter's Tale
Madelyn L'engle - Walking on Water

Walt Wangerin Jr.
compose experience:
-(a creator's task) put things in order & experienced
-Art seeks the reader (received as experience)
-Artists are shapers

5 Covenants (of a shaper):
1. Percieved reality - found in life, makes it believable
2. craft & compatriots - we stand on the shoulders of giants (the ppl & their works)
3. Relationships - community - use, not misuse
4. Must not lie - fiction is true, lies are false
5. Assumed truths - Axioms - Christ - some truths pour through the work without being mentioned.

Comment time (so much for just notes & not being a post, I was wrong again):
Walt made a point of being a writer who is a Christian, not a Christian who is a writer. This hung in my ears for a little bit and caused me much pondering.

I think his primary point is that if you see Jesus in everyone, and in every story; it will pour out from your creative work. "The Book of the Dun Cow" never mentions "God" or "Jesus", and still is a story of good vs. evil and providence. Your work will automatically reflect your worldview (like it or not).

I think my initial hang-up was from forcing a sense of priority determining into it. Too much drumming of "Jesus needs to be your top priority". In reality, when Jesus becomes heart knowledge it is bigger than top priority, it colours all priorities. It's the paper you write your priorities on (something like that).