Adoption is battling hopeless causes

"Youth is pre-eminently the period in which a man can be lyric, fanatical, poetic; but youth is the period in which a man can be hopeless.  The end of every episode is the end of the world.  But the power of hoping through everything, the knowledge that the soul survives its adventures, that great inspiration come to the middle-aged.  God has kept that good wine until now."  - 'Charles Dickens' -Chesterton

"In the struggle for existence, it is only on those who hang on for ten minutes after all is hopeless, that hope begins to dawn." GK Chesterton

Kids are hopeless.  They have no perspective of their lives existing beyond the current crisis.  They lack the view of their soul being tried, broken, and coming out stronger on the other side.  This is why the world ends when they get the blue plate instead of the green for dinner.  Whether in the "wrong chair", stuck eating terrible food, going to bed early, losing video games, getting a bad grade, a bad comment, bullied, broken up with.  The world is on the verge of ending, until it doesn't.

Why we are not adopting

This is a strange title - especially considering yesterday was "Why we are adopting".  Well it's a hook to make you want to read it.  And clearly it worked because here you are & now you are compelled.  And you aren't reading merely because you are bored or are delaying doing the dishes, writing a report or tending a diaper.  Nope surely it was the hook.

This post is more to clarify that some may say they want to adopt because of  "blah blah blah".  This is not to talk down to some of these causes (although I might do that) or that the causes are bad (some misguided, some okay).  Just that they are not driving causes for why we are adopting.

We are not adopting to:

Why we are adopting?

So we have started the process to adopt a child which brings about the question - why adopt?  This is not an easy question to answer.  But I think if you are considering adoption, you need to know your answer(s).  In no particular order here are a few reasons:

Baseball & the waffle house

So we signed up to have a baseball player live in our attic this summer. Slippy Rock has a prospect league team where college kids can play & be evaluated and not burn college eligibility. There was a bulletin insert asking for interested families. We figured to have the furnished attic not doing much and to put some hospitality into action and signed up.

The attic had a TV, empty dresser & closet, a few fans & windows on each side so you can certainly get a good cross breeze. Stuffy from noon-5 but fine in the evening. (radiant foil works pretty well).

Our player showed up around 8:00 sunday night. I helped Vince unload general stuff & left him some time to get aclimated. He never came back down until the next morning. The conversation basically went:
"Morning, how'dja slee?"
"Not so good. I have mild asmtha and I talked to the team owner & will be moving into the apartment."
"Do you want to switch rooms & not be in the attic?"
"Nah, I'll just move out."
He was gone 10 minutes later. He didn't even eat my waffles. We also ended up with a friend's child sleeping over so it was to be a celebration due of waffles. Waffles hold a special place for me.

I'm very torn on this situation.
Heads:
We were very welcoming & he didn't even really give it a shot. We went thru much for the clearances & getting everything prepped. We had the kids ready & excited about it; plus we were excited about it.

Tails:
He's 19 and without a doubt; living with fellow players & eating pizza is way cooler than living with us. We're pretty simple folk, & home cooking doesn't hold much weight to a 19 yr old.


I think we'll end up with season tickets out of this. Tonight is fireworks night, but I'm not sure they will sparkle the same. They will not quite boom like they should. The kids will have fun and it'll take me 2 minutes to look past myself and be happy with them. But I cannot deny there still exists disappointment about this. We were rejected without being given a shot.

In refusing to wallow & making all things work out for God's purpose (yes, it's His work & we're tools in it but stop nit-picking) I will soon be calling the State-Wide Adoption Network (SWAN) to kickstart the process of growing our family.

Basically Becky & I have talked very long about adopting some siblings. We've a heart for family, ours and others. We've a house with empty spots. There is an innocence in kids that should be protected as long as possible. It should not be trampled by the fallen world that is ready and waiting to crush them. Kids need to laugh, cry, play, run & learn within the boundaries of a loving home. We want to extend that as big as we can.

From what I gather/read siblings have a harder time being placed due to extra room, space, food, etc. Especially as they get older. I see the love & need beyond the inconvenience (at least to some extent, not sure how much medical stuff we'll dive into). It has remained a heart ache and there seems to be only one remedy.

Maybe a leaving baseball player was the swift kick in the pants I needed to make some calls and get some things moving.

"Happy is he who still loves something he loved in the nursery: He has not been broken in two by time; he is not two men, but one, and he has saved not only his soul, but his life."
GK Chesterton

"Everybody was a baby once, Arthur. Oh, sure, maybe not today, or even yesterday. But once. Babies, chum: tiny, dimpled, fleshy mirrors of our us-ness, that we parents hurl into the future, like leathery footballs of hope. And you've got to get a good spiral on that baby, or evil will make an interception."
The Tick