I was trained.

I remember amusing myself by writing my own answers to the questions; but I soon found that they were very broken and agnostic answers.  To the question, "What are you?" I could only answer, "God knows."  And to the question, "What is meant by the Fall?" I could answer with complete sincerity, "That whatever I am, I am not myself."  This is the prime paradox of our religion; something that we have never in any full sense known, is not only better than ourselves, but even more natural to us than ourselves.   -GK Chesterton, Orthodoxy

Becky & I went thru another round of adoption training this past Saturday.  Despite how painful it may sound (and some parts are) I'm generally enjoying these sessions.  I get a strange kick out of learning new things.  One thing from this past session really hung in my ears.  The lesson was focusing on natural assumptions that are often encountered and may carry some pain.

ppl say: real mom, real brother
and should say: birth parent, birth siblings
(adoption is real, your adopted parents are real)

ppl say: taken away from their parents
should say: parental rights were terminated
(focus on the loss of rights, not the act of separation)

ppl say:  this is Rachel & she's adopted
should say:  Rachel WAS adopted (or joined the family) at age 7.
(adoption is an event in life, not a definition of who you are).

It is easy to say this is word-smithing and just being nit-picky.  I am sure people generally don't mean harm by saying these type of things, and if they mean harm they shouldn't be around your family.  But they are all overheard by the kids and focus on the difference rather than the family.  Around very vulnerable kids too.

But the last example caught me; more the explanation.  Adoption is an event in life, not a definition.

I had a great awakening at seeing being a redeemed sinner as a definition.  I am a sinner everyday and redeemed everyday. 
It is not that salvation was a one time event and now you are on your own.  "Thanks for the ride Jesus, see you later."  Everyday is like Christmas; Christ entering our world, our lives everyday.  Some days it is more evident than others.  But is a great start to each day to remember what has been done for us.

Do events affect us.  Yes.  But they define our struggle not our person.  They are hammer hits that forge material that makes us; they are not the material that makes us.