Over the weekend we went to a wedding. A high school friend tied the knot and many folks celebrated and tied one on. As is common with weddings and alcohol there was much dancing. I struggle to dance; my shoestrings may as well be tied together.
Sure I can waddle back and forth like a penguin to a slow song. It's wonderful to do this my wife & talk about things that couples care about: kids, tv and the mystery of the house dressing on the salad. I think everyone survived so it wasn't a murder mystery. But I can't dance. My limbs seem to lack any sense of what to do at what time. I'm told there is a "beat" and a "rythm" but I hold these in nearly the same position as the tooth fairy, flying cars and honest politicians. Everyone wants it to be there, but it isn't.
I can juggle, ride a unicycle, run faster than most, occassionaly fly & catch some plastic over people; but my 2 y/o dances better than me. Truly, she can bring it. I can't recall any scarring trauma of being ridiculed at a school assembly or any junk like that; but I feel like the whole world stops points and laughs at my feeble efforts of moving to music. Boo-hoo for me. I'm not worried about it; in heaven I'll dance with the best of them.
Other than sitting there & wishing I could dance (and refusing to imbibe the volume of beer that would loosen the fetters) I couldn't help but notice how things change. I was surrounded by some of my best buds from 15 years ago. Most of them I've seen less than a handful of times in the past 10 years. I went to college and now run in different circles than they do. Most of them are around the home area and are fairly close. We all still run in circles, generally chasing our own tails and telling tales of the one that got away. Some of the ruts from the old days remain. Lots of laughter. I couldn't help but feel out of step. For once I can hear the rythm though.
All if this to say, I'm happy for my past and how my life has turned out. The steps from yesterday gave me a running start to who I am today. I'm happy for all of my friends and how things are going for them. It is fun to catch up and toss jokes back and forth.
I truly live with no regrets. I don't yearn for things to be like they used to be; I don't run from who I was before and try to forget who I used to be. Because I see the highs & lows of the path to today I am hopeful for the future and where this road may go.
I see that as the paradox of life which gets wrapped up in the gospel; highs & lows held in each hand which equips you for a joyful march into tomorrow.