Wednesday, June 8, 2011

A Bummer of a day

I've been a bummer to my family lately.  I'm not sure it will change today.  (This blog is a downer today, stop reading if you're looking for a ray of sunshine.  Read one of my other posts for the regularly sunny with a hint of sarcasm disposition)

The borough dropped the ball on the disc golf course which had me fuming for about a week.  As long as I don't start pondering it I am fairly calm about it now.  The past 2 days I've been slightly back to being plugged back in.  Not that I was sulking, I was just pretty oblivious to the rest of life.  And I'm sure it will all work out; not a life changing moment just VERY frustrating.  I was overdue to enjoy my kids again.

Today there was an article in my hometown paper that has stirred me on a deeper level.  My brother is nearly 3 years older than me but was only 2 years ahead in school.  For a time he dated a girl who was the school year in between us.  She always had a mindset of it being forever and talked more than most about the future & how rosy it would all be; the two of them forever.

Well they split and re-dated and then split for good as many highschool romances go.  Somehow in there I became decent friends with her.  She never let the candle die out for my brother.  At occasional run-ins she still would get a look when talking about how people were doing and how my brother was doing.  Creepy in a stalker way.

She went through many life changes and seemed to have pulled together some sense of faith and family.  Married and had 2 boys.  Then an article hits the paper about that she drowned the two boys in the bathtub.  Tragic. That was about 6 years ago.  She went to court and was found to be not-guilty due to insanity.  She was hearing voices telling her strange things.  Then a very short-time later a judge determined there was no precedent to keep her & they released her.

The article today was that they found her body in a crashed van in a canyon in Arizona.  Tragic again.  She had many demons.  They haunted her & tricked her into thinking that this world was too dangerous for her kids.  I'm guessing that the worst thing that could be done was to turn her away from treatment into a world where she was already tagged and known.  I'm guessing she heard voices, real and in her head.  It would be tough to get a job or make friends with that kind of history.  I had not seen her for about 10 years but today I am sad for her and her family.

I hate this fallen sinful world where kids die.  Whether it be cancer, car accidents or mental illness.  I'm sad that the repercussions couldn't have stopped.  I'm sad that a very confused and lonely girl saw no way out.

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